What to wear?

[sebbie]

What to Wear? The simple guide

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and it suddenly occurs to me that today is going to be a “slow” day with little or nothing planned. Perhaps it is a weekend day, but things seem to be quiet and peaceful.

Often when this happens, I also feel quite horny. I always thought this was quite curious to say the least. Why do I suddenly feel like this in instances where my mind is not distracted with other issues and problems that I need to solve, but if I am deep into repairing something, or trying to solve a problem of one sort of another I almost never feel horny like I do when I am in a peaceful, relaxed mode.

Still, I like to think of this sensation as a rich blessing not a curse. Oddly enough I guess for some I do not need to be around another person and certainly not in a group of people male or female. It is just something that happens to me when I am alone and at peace with myself.

I believe that something similar to this happens to a lot of guys, and they cope with the sensations each in his own way. For some I suspect, the relationship with a partner is critical I guess. But for me it is all about simply kicking back and enjoying myself in all sorts of fascinating and wonderful ways,

Part of the feeling is the desire to touch myself in different ways and in specific places and ramp up the general horny sensations that I find so compelling. Indeed, I have spent my adult life studying all of this, and now realize that the male body is capable of providing a wide-ranging suite of “treats” that seem to have an almost never-ending array of possible sensations—sensations that will ebb and flow all day long. Even at my age I keep discovering things that are really interesting and fun to do.

I keep coming back to a favorite phrase of mine—what can I do by, with and to myself that will be simple but extremely enjoyable, and how can I Improve on my efforts as I gather more knowledge about all of this over a lifetime of enjoyment? And, why do I have to keep what I have learned to myself, especially if all of this is so enjoyable. If some of you see what I am doing is a crash course in solo sex, then so be it. I see it as much more than that, an exploration into the nuances of who you are as a male human being.

Males are born with a most fascinating set of body parts, though the full realization of that only comes later. By the time a guy reaches puberty, he has probably developed a realization of some of the basics with respect to what feels really good down there. But a better understanding of all of this comes only later in life, much later. Guys are often apprehensive about doing “too much” exploring down there for fear that they might “break” something that would in turn lead to the need for potentially embarrassing medical attention and result in the guy in having to explain exactly what he was doing down there.

Truth is, the odds of something breaking while engaging in male ‘self abuse” are minimal and the male body parts may look fragile but are indeed surprisingly sturdy (they have to be given their key role in sustaining human life). But guys only gradually work their way out of their apprehensive mode.

A related problem is that a guy is often deeply fearful of someone (anyone, parents, siblings, peers at school) discovering them in “the act” of playing with himself. Again, if a guy is a bit careful the odds of this happening is very low but there is nothing like a concern for this in taking the fun out of what you are wanting and trying to do.

Then there are the hang-ups involving snug fitting garments. I am convinced that there are many guys out there who really would like to wear a snug-fitting swim brief and greatly admire the guys who get to do so, but are also deeply apprehensive about this. The core worry of course is “what happens if I get an erection and my peers see that I am in that condition?” It is only much later in life that guys gradually learn to accept the fact that erections happen, and sometimes at less than opportune moments, and that an erection occurring at some inopportune time, place or circumstance is something that all guys need to deal with sooner or later.

No guy is comfortable admitting to others that he likes to masturbate alone—and this is true even for many guys in sexual partnerships. And if a guy thinks that wearing a swim brief might be fun from a solo sex perspective, the tricky part for guys not living independent lives away from home is how to obtain one without drawing attention to what a guy really wants it for if the guy is not a swimmer. These guys often look for substitutes, such as an underwear brief that is sold as underwear but looks surprisingly like a swim brief—the next best alternative, though--a pair of white cotton briefs--might also work as a substitute if a guy is really apprehensive about sending the “wrong” signals with respect to what he likes to do by himself to someone else. I have often thought the popularity of loose-fitting boxer shorts in gym locker rooms in recent years is because they send out a signal that the guy never has been known to touch his own private parts in an arousing way, and further, the guy doesn’t want any clothing to touch anything sensitive either.

The problem is that there is the snug-fitting clothing that is really useful in self-pleasuring. Guys who do not need to wear a jock strap for sport fantasize over how they fit and feel, and what they could do to guys who wear a strap as part of whatever sport they are in. Then there are the compression gear particularly the shorts but also the tights, and the gear that can double either as a compression short as an outer garment or as a pair of snug fitting long legged underwear that is worn under a looser-fitting garment. All of these have potential in self-pleasuring, and the sales of many of these items are high because of their potential in this respect.

Moving from being apprehensive over all of this to being able to just kick back and enjoy who you are as a male takes some time, and a lot of guys really struggle with this a lot more than is necessary. But mastering this gives you access to all sorts of sweet and wonderful sensations that you can create whenever you are so moved. Feeling horny is not a bad thing at all—in fact it is a very good thing. Even a super good thing! Today I am wearing a really tight pair of way undersized white cotton briefs, a neat little black jock strap over, and an almost too small pair of compression shorts I bought years ago, but still fit like a second skin. Feels great. I need to go get on my rowing machine for a workout. The exercise will stress the system in place some more in fascinating ways.

[sebbie]

Yesterday was an interesting day. I got up feeling rather horny and that general feeling did not leave me all day long. How I respond to the situation when this happens varies a lot, but I usually manage to find things to do that make me feel even hornier.

I went through my usual rowing and stationary bike riding in the morning, and then around noon I decided my pubes really could use a trim. I love the feel of shaved pubes but I do not trim that frequently, and mine were starting to look like my backyard as in way overgrown. I have a nice little shaving unit that was sold for “body hair removal” which for some guys means shaving the chest, but probably the most frequent use is for shaving and trimming pubes. Of course, I cannot do a good job at this without “handling” the merchandise in various ways, but that only adds to the fun.

I have had two separate hernia repair surgeries both done in different years many years ago. At that point in time, I was not shaving down there and showed up for surgery with my brush intact. Both times the hospital sent in a male nurse to do the work. And, of course the male nurse can’t do a complete job without handling the merchandise either. I am wondering if, in these days of women can do anything men can, that they still would find a male nurse for this task for the men facing surgery or not, But nowadays, with the same surgery, I would do some preparation myself at home.

So I was doing a lot of edging yesterday but keeping myself below the point where I would go into the repeated contractions of an orgasm. The techniques for keeping your body in that mode for long periods of time are way fun, and the pressure keeps building. At some point all I want to think about is how much pure fun I am having down there, and hanging in there keeps getting tougher and tougher to do without going into uncontrollable muscular contractions, but many years of experience in building up the pressure at that level has been really helpful in sustaining the wonderful sensations.

So last night I was ready for bed but still was traveling along the very edge of orgasm. In that mode I keep getting hungrier and hungrier for something that fits really tight and holds my somewhat erect penis forward and then up as the blood flows in. And last night I found just the garment.

I realize that some of my readers are probably bored stiff with my frequent mention that I use way undersized tighty whiteys to keep my penis pointed forward and then up as an erection proceeds. Well, this garment was much more complicated than that. It is one I bought as a gift to myself but somehow had only tried on once or twice. It looks not like a swim brief so much as like a low-cut square cut, but the fabric is made to look like a lightweight black faux leather.

The fabric is interesting but it is the cut of the garment that is the fascinating part. From the front, it provides more than ample coverage (though really tight), but in the rear, the back leaves about 1/3 of my butt crack totally uncovered. The back appearance is like a Japanese swim brief, but think way way lower.

I have no idea of any circumstance where a guy would be able to comfortably wear this in even a semi public setting. I keep thinking that this was designed as a “gay boy” brief for clubbing in a semi private setting, but, never mind, because in the condition I am in, I am going to try wearing it as sleepwear and there is no reason to be concerned about the lack of butt coverage. What's important is that it feels great on my groin, and the leathery texture of the black cloth coupled with the tight fit as I try to bring the butt side to some semblance of coverage is exactly where I need to be given my generally clouded state of horniness.

So I hop into bed wearing this, position my penis up and forward and, given my horny and rather exhausted state from dealing with my horniness all day long, I quickly drop off to sleep.

Then at 4 AM I wake up, my penis suddenly screaming to me that it is in desperate need of attention and really wants to be rubbed and played with, I pick up with my edging about where I had left off yesterday evening. Wow this feels great. This garment has far more uses than gay boy clubbing. It’s great sleepwear as well. This morning I am still in the same rather horny state though I have gone back to my tighty whiteys and compression gear I like to wear during the day. I will see how the day goes.

I got to thinking, in the process of doing all of this to, with and by myself, I have some information for other guys who might want to do some similar self-pleasuring. The trick here was to find sleepwear that fits snug enough to keep your flaccid penis pointed forward and then upward as the blood gradually give you a semi-erection. You want to make certain that as this happens the underside of your penis presses firmly against the slick fabric of the tight-fitting garment. Touching and rubbing the underside of your penis gives some great erotic sensations, and if you avoid the glans or tip as all of this is happening you can keep the edging sensations active almost indefinitely as I was able to do early this morning.

A swim brief makes great basic sleepwear for exploring all of this. If you are in a close quarters setting such as in a dorm room or military setting, a good technique is to quickly slip on the brief when no one is looking, and then fit a loose pair of cotton boxer shorts on over. The appearance is that you are just wearing the cotton boxers as sleepwear but of course you are setting yourself up for a night of pleasure. Once in bed the boxers are simply slipped down to your ankles and the real masturbation fun begins.

Not every guy is going to have the control I have at my age. And the question always becomes “what happens if I lose control and end up with an ejaculatory mess and how do I hide that?”. Hopefully the swim brief fit snug enough to contain most of the ejaculate (If not, you need a still tighter pair.) But if you did the boxer shorts thing you still have a clean and dry pair of boxers underneath the covers and the trick is to remove the brief under the covers, and slip on the boxers. The brief gets carried in your hand to the shower, where you use the shower to wash the cum out of brief as you are showering.

But, if a guy has control, the stains on the brief will likely be easier-to-manage pre-cum not cum. My antics last night produced a great quarter-dollar-sized precum stain but only on the inside of the gay boy brief. It was invisible on the outside. Precum stains signal a great experience overall.

[sebbie]

I am just wondering about all of this

Suppose there is a well-built, athletic guy who is wearing only a swim brief. The swim brief grips the guy’s athletic body and is quite snug, though not that skimpy, more of a swimmer’s brief with 2 ½ inch sides. It could be a standard Speedo brief, in the familiar sapphire blue color. Or maybe something from one of the competing mainstream swimwear manufacturers, Tyr, Arena or perhaps even Adidas.

I suspect that the brief might purposely be one or even 2 inches undersized as in a 30-inch brief for a guy whose waist is 32. No matter, the fabric stretches a lot and the guy somehow looks very good wearing it. But it is clear that the only way he could get himself in was to position his penis upward, and even at that, the underside of his penis is pressing hard against the fabric in the tight pouch. From the outline it is clear that the guy already has something of an erection going on perhaps from just the struggle of getting into the brief. If one were to observe closely, it is possible to see both the outline of the shaft of the penis as well as the underside of the glans as well. Surely this guy is feeling quite good in the snug-fitting brief. How could it be otherwise? What he has is a bit of a predicament, but not an unpleasant one for him for sure.

Presumably this guy also is in public where other guys can see him. The attention the situation presents tends to attract a crowd of people although maybe not the kinds of people who would want to obviously show that they are fascinated by the guy and what might be happening to him. Guys tend to divide themselves into being either straight or gay. On the surface, I suppose most people think my swimsuit-clad guy would attract the attention of guys who are either openly gay, of maybe have some “hidden” gay “leanings”. But I have often wondered whether or not this is entirely the case,

In contrast, purportedly an utterly straight guy would find the situation our swimsuit guy is in as bland, boring or not of any psychological interest whatsoever. After all, in theory at least, the straight guys are not supposed to be aroused by any other guy regardless of his condition, only females, but what if, for some significant subset of the straight guys, simply looking at the swimsuit-clad guy and the interesting situation his penis is in causes a “reaction” even for a guy who claims to be “totally straight”. The straight guy, on looking at our swimwear guy, feels “something” in his groin, and that something is the initial signs of arousal, maybe releasing a drop or two of precum that the guy can feel dampening the underwear that he is wearing in the area around his own penis tip. I guess this totally involuntary “reaction” to the situation is not exactly what a straight guy would ever want to admit had happened, that a straight guy observing this situation involuntarily entered the initial stages of arousal.

Of course, our swimwear guy is not necessarily going to maintain his erect but nothing more situation forever. A real possibility is that in such an aroused state, he could start to ooze as well, and with his penis tip pressed firmly up against the pouch of the suit, the fact that he is “leaking” precum could quickly become obvious to others. Should this happen, might the other silent but observant men both purportedly straight and purportedly gay also go into arousal mode and start dripping precum inside their own underwear as well? Is oozing precum “catching” in this regard and if so is there any reason to believe that the straight guys are going to be able to deal with what they are observing any better than the guys who somehow believe they are gay?

Let me take this one step farther. If a guy is wearing a tight-fitting swim brief, penis up, the head of the penis is in a position that if the guy ejaculates, what just happened is going to be very obvious. The milky-white stain in varied patches on the pouch of the brief can be mistaken for nothing other than what it is. But suppose we have the same straight and gay group of male observers. Is the straight group going to find it easier to deal with what they just observed than the gay group? Exactly how “catching” is a full-scale ejaculation? Are some of the male observers able to cope with the situation better than others (staying relatively unaroused), or do all the guys quickly start to thinking that they would really like to have been in the predicament of the swimsuit guy as in being able to ejaculate with the tight fitting Speedo pressing on the underside of their penises.

I hold the view that being able to observe a guy with a full erection and even see evidence of precumming and ejaculating is a nearly universal desire among males despite claims that each one might make about sexual orientation or being turned on only by women, and the hypothetical aroused guy in the tight Speedo is an excellent way of researching this issue. I also believe that sexual arousal is to a degree catching, and that guys who think they are not aroused when with one or more other guys who clearly are, will soon get caught up themselves in finding themselves being aroused. There is lots here to think about with respect to male sexuality, sexual orientation, claims about claims guys make about being only perfectly straight or perfectly gay. Why other guys seem to find the situation the swim brief male so fascinating and personally arousing to the observer remains to me as something of a mystery.

[sebbie]

Confessing…

I am a retired college professor who has had a 40-year career in academics, and I have written gobs of stuff that is being read used and cited by other academics—students and faculty around the world. All of this is under my real name. I have been retired for some time.

I also admit that at least for some, I have an odd “hobby” of writing on all sorts of topics related to better understanding male sexuality and filling in the gaps in the books typically written by psychiatrists or sex researchers. But, the potential problem I had is that if I wrote on those topics using my real name, someone would soon do a Web search on my name and end up with a list of my academic writings in my real career mixed together with my writings on male sexuality topics. That was intolerable, and I could not pursue my hobby writing without figuring out a way to keep the two worlds entirely separate.

I quickly landed on the idea that I was in need of a “pen” name that I could use for my hobby writings, and at the same time continue to do academic writing under my real name. This idea has actually worked quite well and periodically I do some searches to check whether or not those who do searches under my pen name could find their way into my academic writings or vice versa, I can think of a few ways that someone who wanted to link the two could possibly find out, but it would not be an easy search.

In the 1990s and for some time after, I had an active Web site with some of my pen name writing for ready access. The problem I had was that someone would crawl into the site and conclude that what they read was somehow unsuitable for the general public including teenagers, to have ready access as well, yet what I was doing in my writings was never meant to be porn but merely educational and useful on topics that were seldom openly discussed by males. Some of my writings on male sexuality were very popular and quoted on other sites dealing with complex questions related to sex, relationships and related topics. But that did not stop at least one server site from banning be on content the basis of uploading pornographic content.

I even published a book on Amazon under my pen name and all you need to do to find it is to Google my pen name and up it will pop. Meanwhile you could Google my real name and you will see tons of my academic writings including several books on Amazon. But there is no way for a casual surfer to link the two. Right now I have no personal Web site dealing with male sexuality. If you want to read my latest thinking, you can usually find a new effort here at this site.

If you Google my pen name “David Sebringsil” you will get a link to my Amazon book and to various papers who have quoted papers I wrote that were on the old Web site. And if you use the Internet wayback machine, you can see a version of my old sebringsil.com site that is no longer active, along with the papers as they appeared on that site when it was active.

The papers that appeared on the old site now have some age to them. They did have some interesting titles one being “The Thonging Primer” that discussed some ways that guys could have fun once introduced to a male underwear thong with me giving “how to do it” advice that some of the server sites was too raunchy for general access. What is or is not pornographic versus merely educational in the world of sex is always an interesting issue.

So I just got through finding an original copy of “The Thonging Primer” and I thought it would be fun to ask the question “Does the advice I gave readers 25 years ago on this topic still hold, and what has changed since then that would either say “I changed my mind on some of this” or perhaps what is readily available has changed?

Some of you have probably read my recent essays on Wrangler Butts on the “Off-topic: section of this site. The interesting part when I went back to the old Thonging essay, part of it mentioned the fun a guy could have wearing a thong as underwear UNDER a pair of tight-fitting Wrangler jeans. What you see here are recurring long-term themes of mine.

Next, what I want to try and do here is present an annotated version of the Thonging Primer along with what still applies and what needs to be updated or even rethought entirely. But also expect me to be stunningly consistent, and generally what I thought was fun to do 25 or more years ago I still relish doing 25 years later.

I have other early papers that deserve the same treatment, “Spending the Night in a Cup” being my “classic” essay on straps and eroticism. So stick with me—this could be fun. And if you get a little aroused reading what I write, well that is why some people thought I should be banned from having all searchers be able to get ready access!

And also always remember that a male does not need to have a sexual partner in order to enjoy who you are as a male, and the idea of being a happy male living alone is another recurring theme in all of this, but this is especially true if your collection of Speedos is large!

[sebbie]

If you would like to see the original papers on the Sebringsil.com site, they are available via the Internet Wayback machine.

Try this link for an index. Seems to work fine.

https://web.archive.org/web/20191028...ebringsil.com/

[dm106]

Sebbie, I have enjoyed your writings and ramblings and now you have posted links to read more. Thanks very much for doing that.

[sebbie]

What Professional Wrestlers wore

I grew up in the 1950s and early 1960s. We got our first black and white TV set in late 1955 and I would have been only about 8 years old. Interestingly, one of the first late night shows I saw in that period was what passed for the professional wrestling of the day. Even way back then we knew a lot of what we were seeing was basically staged, and despite the theatrics the last thing the two guys on the mat wanted to do was injure themselves in taking falls. But even on the old TV sets we could see that the mat was not at all like concrete but springy, almost like a trampoline, This made the throws and falls look more dramatic.

Me? I was not much interested in wrestling the sport, but what caught my eye at that early age was the costumes the guys wore. They were like a swim brief, fit tight, but were quite high-waisted—fitting to the wrestlers’ belly buttons. Think swim brief with maybe a 6-inch side but no leg like a mid cut would have. Even at age 8 or 9 I thought these briefs were way cool and I knew I would really enjoy wearing one. Here I was, well before puberty and I still wanted to wear something like that, something that clearly outlined the shape of my package.

Pro wrestling in those days seemed to attract a female audience, who though not admitting it were attracted to seeing the guys cavorting on the mat in the tight briefs. I suppose there was a male audience—some guys interested in seeing the actual wrestling for the theatrics labeled a sport, but there no doubt was a significant homo-erotic male audience as well, maybe what could be called a gay-curious component.

The idea of wearing just a brief as a professional wrestler continued for decades, but what did change is that the industry started to see that the briefs the guys wore was part of the reason there was an audience, and the briefs started getting a lower and lower rise and seemed to keep fitting snugger and snugger, all the better for attracting an audience.

By the 1980s things had gotten really snug and while not yet quite bodybuilder posing trunks, the sides had gone to 3 inches then maybe 2 inches. This did not seem to hurt either ticket sales or TV audiences, in fact, quite the opposite—so you had all these big, muscular guys cavorting on a mat in front of a big live and TV audience in a minimal brief, with each wrestler wearing a different color.

There is a Netflix series “The Toys that made us”. Season 3 episode 4 deals with toys based on professional wrestling figures. Toy dolls were big sellers for girls, but dolls of either sex did not sell well for boys, with very limited exceptions. Girls liked dolls but boys wanted “action figures” to play with. Action figures based on military themes have been around for a long time, culminating with GI Joe who was actually a male doll in military garb but marketed to boys as an action figure not as a doll. And the toy companies were always looking for other ideas to create action figures on other themes that would be in effect a way to make dolls that would appeal to boys. One idea? Professional wrestling action figures.

And all of this happened just when the wrestling briefs had gotten quite skimpy, and so the action figures had to be made similarly, the poseable figure unclothed save the tiny brief in the color whatever the wrestler was wearing. You soon had a bunch of different wresting action figures in blister packs wearing only a snug-fitting brief in a bright color. And boys were buying these as action figures not male dolls and simultaneously learning that it was more than OK to be wearing a snug-fitting colored brief—this in a period of time when a colored brief for swimming had become popular even for young males who were not on a swim team. Mere coincidence? Maybe not! At that point in time the idea that somehow only gay guys would be caught wearing a swim brief had not yet surfaced to any degree.

It was later, and then only gradually that some wrestlers adopted more elaborate costumes that typically covered more but more individualized designs still with lightweight compression gear. Some of these were a variation based on a college-style wrestling singlet. Other wrestlers wore tights that extended to the ankles, and the poseable action figures were made to mimic whatever the popular wrestler of the day was wearing in the ring.

Still, nearly all of the early wrestling action figures were clad only in a tight-fitting brief in a bright color and boys were buying this and playing with their action figures thus clad. This was not considered homoerotic in any way, just boys engaging in action-figure play with wrestling being popular way to engage two of the action figures.

If you have a Netflix subscription, the episode to watch is season 3 episode 4 that traces the development of these early, brief-garbed wrestling action figures aimed at a young male audience. This was really popular in the late 1980s extending into the 1990s—less so today.