Thoughts on just being a guy

[sebbie]

Part CXIII

Then by the end of the 1990s, things had changed drastically. It is always amazing to consider how college and professional athletes influence clothing designs for other guys, but that is something that has long gone on. Most interesting to me is the impact on what guys wear and do not wear as undergarments, not only when participating in an active sport, but how many of the same ideas spill over into non-athletic wear for school, work and leisure.

The late 1990s started the era of compression gear for athletes that had only been a minor part of sport prior to that. The Under Armor company was founded with very limited capital by a 24-year old ex-University of Maryland Fullback Kevin Plank who disliked how the cotton tee shirts he was wearing under his jersey seemed to retain water from sweat rather than quickly dry out, and so he started by making a compression poly-stretch fabric tee shirt that he discovered had a natural wicking action and quickly dried. He soon had contracts to supply compression tees for a number of college teams and this was quickly followed by compression pants.

Wikipedia explains all of this in a lot of detail here.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Under_Armour

College and professional football players generally must wear straps and cups, but in an era when (sometimes female) reporters are allowed locker room access, there is a modesty issue here should the camera see something inappropriate for TV, so players by regulation are required to wear something OVER the strap and cup but UNDER the football pants. I suppose and ordinary brief would do, but wouldn’t a pair of compression shorts work a lot better,
and then for cold weather, instead of showing bare skin below the knee, why not simply go with a pair of compression tights that extend to the ankle?

Guys took notice. The players wore compression tees under the jersey, ones with long sleeves in colder weather, and compression shorts or tights under the football pants and hiding the strap and cup.

Meanwhile, over in professional and college basketball, played indoors, the athletes began wearing (usually white) short sleeved compression tees as the first layer before the sleeveless team jersey went on, and, guess what? Compression shorts (again usually white) with legs that extended near the knee were peeking out from under the team shorts.

If these items made sense for serious athletes, why not also for more casual active wear for non-athletes. Besides a lot of guys have always had this closely-guarded secret “thing” for finding an “excuse” to wear skin-tight compression gear. I can think of any number of reasons why guys might feel this way, and, the perfect excuse when with your buddies (or even trying to come up with a motivation that would seem rational to your parents)—I am just wearing what the big athletes are wearing.

Starting around the year 2000, sales of snug-fitting compression gear at Under Armor soared, and companies like Nike and Adidas had to come up with their own versions of much the same thing. It soon became a compression gear free-for-all. The guys who had always simply wanted to find out how it would feel to wear such skin-tight gear could now freely do so without having to dream up elaborate explanations for their parents and buddies. How does it feel to get a hard-on in this type of skin-tight gear? That was now a realistic empirical experiment that could be conducted.

Compression pants come in a variety of lengths, with the most popular being the length that stops about mid thigh. The look had become so popular that underwear manufacturers started to take notice. Why not stretch underwear of a cotton/Lycra or even polyester/Lycra blend with a similar fit but for daily wear under street clothes. And the tees—obviously loose-fitting tees should be replaced with cotton or poly/Lycra-blend fabrics that fit close to the body, like the athletes wore.

So underwear styled like athletic compression gear almost overnight took over a major share of the entire market. Gone or nearly gone were the tighty whiteys, the colored briefs, bikini briefs, string bikinis and thongs, not to mention a lot of the loose-fitting plaid boxers. Instead, there was now a bunch of underwear with the same fit and coverage as the compression shorts worn by athletes. This was a strange turn of events for sure.

The one remaining issue was whether this underwear should have a fly or not. Versions without a fly COULD be worn as an outer garment, but generally if there was a fly in the design that meant that the garment was intended always be worn under another garment.

For that matter, some compression shorts have a fly but others do not. I assume that I should pull a loose-fitting pair of shorts OVER the ones with a fly, but it is OK to wear the ones without a fly as an outer garment. I assume other guys view this likewise.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Enjoying yourself: A short guide

For a lot of guys, the idea of having sexual feelings is so intertwined with being in a sexual relationship with another person that it is difficult to separate the two. But partner relationships involving sex quickly get very complicated, at least for most guys and invariably the sexual sensations and feelings parts get meshed together with all sorts of complicated stuff that has nothing to do with sex. On occasion, guys have been known to ask questions with regard to if it is possible to just kick back and enjoy ones’ own male body without getting bogged down in dealing with all of the other stuff a sexual partner invariably brings into the mix.

Every guy loves to masturbate, a fondness that began in early adolescence if not before. By the time a guy enters young adulthood most guys have probably discovered ways of improving the experience that they didn’t know about as young teens. A lot of these methods may involve snug-fitting items of clothing in some ways. And for this I am offering a short guide that I might prove helpful, particularly for guys who do not want to deal with a complicated sexual relationship with another person.

Swim Briefs

The snug-fitting swim brief is the “classic” garment for adding to the masturbation experience. From a very early age every guy quickly learns that anything that fits snuggly in the groin area can really feel interesting and good, and not long thereafter discovers that it is neat to be able to recreate these sensations whenever you want.

What is it about a swim brief then that makes wearing one so much fun? I think it is a combination of two ideas, first a garment that fits very snug, and second a garment that is made of a material that is not only stretchy but fits very slick and smooth. These two in combination often will drive a guy bonkers.

So, there are few guys in this world who do not long to at least be able to find out how he will feel wearing a snug-fitting, slick-and-smooth swim brief, but for a variety of reasons some guys have never dared to actually obtain one. The fear that others (parents, peers, college roommates) will discover what they are really doing with the swim brief and why they have it on even if they are not planning on swimming and this is a potential source of embarrassment.

But there are ways of working around this, wearing the brief under jeans as if it were an underwear brief, for example, or under sleep pants in bed. I say, if this is something you have always wanted top do, go for it. Life is too short to miss out on this. I recommend the “penis up” position which will give you a nice “kick” just walking around while wearing the brief. And two or three briefs of different sizes is even more fun. This is part of the “not to be missed: stuff every male needs to experience.

The jock strap

When I was growing up, getting involved in any sort of athletic endeavor that required participants wear a strap was something of a male “rite of passage”. The old-school jock straps consisting of a rubberized pouch, two leg straps and a 3 inch wide elastic waist band and leaving your butt completely bare was a wild and crazy thing. Any guy would have to be brain-dead to not realize that just getting ones male parts into such a garment was going to be a “stimulating” experience.

The old-school straps are tougher to find nowadays, but they still can be found at least on line. The hard protective cups provide another interesting component to the overall male experience. Again I would say that every guy needs to own at least one strap even if the only use is for male “self abuse”. Several straps, some cupped and others not, are better. This can get very habit-forming too.

Male Thongs

Thongs for guys, either as underwear or as swimwear, did not really enter the US until the 1980s. Then for awhile they were everywhere with all the major underwear and swimwear manufacturers making them. But in recent years, you seldom see these any more in store, but many designed to be worn as revealing swimwear or as underwear on line.

A properly fitting and sized thong will teach a guy some important things about sensitive and sexually-active body parts he may not have known existed. The obvious one is from the thong back that cuts between the glutes and brushes against the anal area that interestingly turns out to be sexually active.

Even more interesting is that not only does getting into a thong pouch provide some of the same experiences as getting into a strap ouch, but the back of the thong attaches to the pouch with a knot of heavy sewing, putting upward pressure on the perineum. This is great fun and highly enjoyable. It should immediately send almost any guy to “precum heaven” and he will start to ooze juice almost immediately. Again, a male experience not to be missed, for precum heaven is a wonderful place.

Compression Gear.

My forth option is compression gear, shirts long and short sleeved along with jammer style shorts or longer, ¾ or full snug-fitting running tights. Wear this gear in combination with any of the other three and you should be “off to the races” quite quickly. You will quickly discover how much fun it is to spend an afternoon just steadily oozing precum. The male body is a wonderful design of which I am always in awe.

Maybe that complex sexual relationship was not that important after all. The path to feeling horny is right there in your dresser drawer. You can do all of these things safely, by, to and with yourself!

[sebbie]

In this holiday season

One of my favorite stories I wrote in my “What to wear” series was the one in which the two college roommates decided to have some fun with each other by each placing an order for the other of several swim briefs. Each roommate picked out several swim briefs for the other to wear.

The real stunt was not the choice of a particular brand of swim brief, nor style. The whole idea was to choose a single brand and style of swim brief, and then order that same brief in a number of different sizes each in a different color.

The brief should be relatively inexpensive, skimpy but not too skimpy, and available in an assortment of colors and many different styles. In the story, each roommate ordered 4 different briefs. For this purpose the Sporti brief at Swimoutlet® is a good choice, inexpensive and comes in a variety of colors and sizes. There is both the standard brief and the skimpier “Euro” brief. The men’s sizes range from 28-40 inch waist with Youth sizes going smaller still.
https://www.swimoutlet.com/p/sporti-...798/?color=212

The idea is to order four different sizes in four different colors for your bud, and he does the same for you. The largest size should be your normal waist size for a comfortable but not that snug a fit. For me, that would be a W 34. Then the other three briefs would be downsized in increments, say 28, 30 and 32, though aY26 would be interesting as well (maybe skip the 32!).

What specific sizes are ordered for each other depends, well, on the normal waist size of your bud. You would want the largest one to just fit nicely, with the fit being snugger and tighter as the waist size gets smaller.

For guys, the mere THOUGHT of trying on a new swim brief of any size probably induces some reaction “down there”. Both physically and psychologically, trying on any new swim brief irrespective of sizing is an interesting moment in the life of a guy. And doing an on line order will stress a guy out in marvelously interesting and wonderful ways as with each day he contemplates what will transpire once the briefs arrive. Equally interesting is that the bud will be struggling with the same little “problem”. Waiting for the expected packages should keep both guys horny for a week more or less. It is important for both guys to “contain” themselves and not jerk off to ejaculation during the waiting period. Keep the horniness embers “glowing” but resist the urge that may come over you to ejaculate right now. This is quite a fix for a guy to be in, let alone two guys both struggling with the same issue. Precumming, of course is allowed during this period of waiting, not that a guy could somehow will that not to happen.

On the day the briefs arrive, both guys should have worked themselves up to a high degree of enthusiasm for the edging contest that is about to take place. How hard each guy will be as the two packages of swim briefs are opened is anyone’s guess, but they are going to both be glad the wait is over.

As any guy knows, getting into even a normal-sized swim brief with a hard-on is a lot more challenging than doing the same thing flaccid. If both these guys psychologically are where I think they will be, they are already showing nice “semis” just thinking about all of this. The first, biggest brief is still fun, especially in trying to find a way to point a slightly-hard penis without stimulating yourself ‘too much”. Of course if a guy ejaculates getting himself into the biggest brief, he has lost and the contest is therefore over, at least for this time. There is a worthwhile male skill with edging, but like any skill it requires practice to stay on the edge.

Assuming that the guy survived getting into the the first brief in his condition, he now needs to get the brief off without ejaculating, which can be a challenge in itself. Having another guy there with the same “problem” only adds to the difficulty of the task at hand. This magnifies the psychological difficulty for both guys.

But a second, snugger brief, awaits. And the third, and the forth, each one posing a more difficult edging challenge for both guys. The contest ends as soon as one of the guys ejaculates semen, with the guy who ejaculated being the loser.

Once that happens it is best to just stop, leaving the guy who did not ejaculate without cumming. Stick the briefs away in a dresser drawer and try this all again, maybe in a week or so. Will the guys be able to both get into the smaller sizes without ejaculating this time once they have had time to think about what happened the first time? Good question. The answer is obtained by trying this another time, on a day that both the buds are again feeling horny and again have not ejaculated in several days. Part of the fun of doing this is getting yourself in a place where you have not ejaculated in some time and have a strong but still controllable urge to do so.

As I went to bed last night I was thinking about all of this, and feeling horny. I decided to get into a really small 26Y genuine Speedo® I had in my collection with the idea of seeing if I could make it through the night without going into the convulsive-like orgasm. Oddly enough, I fell right to sleep in the tiny briefand slept the whole night through. The black lining of the Speedo shows precum stains quite nicely. When I awoke this AM there were still some nice stains right at where I had positioned my penis tip the night before. I clearly (no pun intended) had a great night but I basically slept right through it. I woke up thinking about the story I was going to write today. Undersized swim briefs can be quite useful in a host of different ways and should be a part of every guy’s wardrobe.

The best to all of you in this weird holiday season. I hope that I have given you some ideas that will make your mood brighter and happier.

[sebbie]

Some thoughts for the holiday season


As the holiday season approaches, along with the giving of gifts, I cannot help but think of things that happened to me in years past, often many years past. As many of you are probably well aware by now, I developed a fondness for snug-fitting clothing at a very young age. I loved very much how it looked and felt on my body, and I greatly admired the guys who got to wear such items of clothing.

I quickly discovered that I liked a lot of things. I would rather have some new snug-fitting clothing item than something to play with. Of course, getting a swim brief as a gift had to be on the top of my list. But that was so much wishful thinking. It was the dead of winter. It was 20 below zero F out. No one swam where I lived, and certainly not in the dead of winter. Besides I did not know how to swim.

But somehow, I always managed to compensate. I really liked brief-style underwear, and if a little too small, all the better. And I loved really snug-fitting jeans as well. I liked the look and the feel very much. The mere thought of being able to wear such items often put me in a great masturbation mode a mode that I was very fond of.

Then I got older and moved away from home. And I had my own money and I was free to buy exactly what I wanted. I went straight for the swim briefs. And, of course the snuggest, tightest jeans I could find. And the underwear my parents would have regarded as “way too small.” Each of these items in one way or another got me off. I enjoyed myself in ways I could have only dreamed of before I got out on my own. This was terrific. I was living alone. I could do what I wanted whenever I wanted. Even own a jock strap—or two—or three. I keep wondering if I am the only guy with such an “affliction”. This is not something one dares ask anyone about. All I knew was that I was liking the situation immensely.

Then along came the compression gear, the running tights, the tees. More fun. I could own a wrestling singlet if I wanted. I bought a rowing machine. I needed gear to wear while rowing. A hot tub too! A perfect “excuse” to own an entire “wardrobe” of Speedos.

But the holidays still come around every year, and I still am having these thoughts every year about what an ideal Christmas present would be if I were 15 years old again. So every year I try and come up with something interesting. My Speedo collection is huge. My jock strap collection is huge. I have quite a few jammers and full-length running tights and compression shirts.

But this past year I have really been enjoying my Tesla tights. They have become my daily wear still living alone and in retirement. I have a pair on today. I have been wearing the same pair pretty much steady for a number of months and the pair I have been wearing has been taking a lot of abuse. Amazon beckons. I think I will order another pair or two. How about bright blue, size SM of course? A perfect fit!

I have lots of straps. I really like straps. But I have fewer Singlets. How about a blue one of those as wella color I do not have? I will look and feel so neat rowing and stationary cycling in a bright blue singlet. I put lots of hours on my exercise equipment. I row, cycle and watch TV at the same time. Nothing wrong with feeling just right horny as well.

How about this Singlet
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...t_b_prod_image

And how about these tights

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...t_b_prod_image

And this shirt

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0...t_b_prod_image


Stuff that looks and feels great. Gonna be a great holiday. I can feel it already!

[sebbie]

Just having some good clean fun

Edging has become very popular with guys in recent years, and if the porn sites are any indication, more and more guys are learning edging techniques they enjoy as opposed to plain old masturbation and plain old sex with a partner. I would like to think that I started building my edging skills long before it became a popular idea with males, and early on I was sharing ideas on the Internet that were quite enjoyable as well as being totally safe to do. At some point I guess I got so good at it that I started to enjoy that activity more than simply having an orgasm. But I also keep adding things to the mix, while still enjoying some of the techniques I first discovered were great fun decades ago.

Last night was terrific fun. I combined some old methods with the new. Let me tell you the details of what I did. Maybe you can try some of this on your own.

My readers know I have a little estim device that I bought for $20 on ebay. This is set up with two AAA batteries in a control device, wiring and some conductive stretchy silicone rings that go around my penis. The device produces a very mild shock from the two little batteries controlled in strength and pattern by the wearer. Mine has just two conductive silicone rings one fits at the base of my penis and the other at the tip or glans area.

If you do not feel horny just reading about this you will after you wear the device for a few minutes. If you are a Speedo fan, one could slip a pair of Speedos on over the wires and let the wires dangle out of the top of the waistband but this is not necessary. My only caution here is that if you play around with this a bit too long, you could easily go into the involuntary muscular contractions of ejaculation. The sensations are very similar to what you would get pressing a vibrator against your penis, and as you probably realize it is possible to go into full ejaculatory mode with a vibrator without having much of a hard-on. So lesson 1 is learning exactly when to stop using the estim device and move on to the next step. You will want to feel horny when you remove the estim but not so horny that you involuntarily go into full ejaculation mode. Finding exactly where this point is for every guy is different but that is the whole idea behind learning edging.

The next step is to insert your penis into a manually-operated penis pump. This works particularly well if you after the estim experience as you already be semi-hard. The really fun part about a penis pump is that it will make you harder and longer with each stroke of the pump, and you get to watch this in great detail. Do not be in a hurry. Go slow and steady and watch all the details of what is happening to your penis. Your penis will not only get longer and bigger around but also get a deeper red color as more blood is drawn in by the vacuum. The standard way of doing this is to have a rubber ring positioned around the base of he pump, and pop that on to the base of your penis from the pump once you are big and hard.

Despite all of this, it is difficult to ejaculate while still inside of the pump Once again, you are edging. Pull the pump off. I have seen guys ejaculate while inside a pump on the porn sites but this is rare.

If you thought you were feeling good after using the estim device, chances are you are feeling really good now. A delicious hard on-with a snug-fitting rubber ring at the base of your penis. The third step is to lube yourself up using shower gel soap (I recommend the Dial® brand in the tall blue container) and engage in some plain old-fashioned masturbation, repeatedly stroking your now quite hard penis from glans to base in repeated well-lubed strokes. What you learned about technique when you were 14 years old now applies here. But remember you are still in edging mode. The tricky part is to take yourself up, then stop before getting to a point where you cannot refrain from going into repetitive muscular contractions of ejaculation.

While I am enjoying myself this way, I am also drawing a tub of warm water. Again, I still want to avoid going into ejaculatory contractions. At some point I stop stroking myself and dive into the tub to cool down a bit and wash the soap off, while removing the rubber penis ring. Coming out of the tub, I am not as big and hard as I was, but still feeling pretty horny.

I’m ready for bed. But nighttime is going to be fun too. I start thinking about some nighttime wear I first enjoyed over thirty years ago, A thong with a narrow elastic band for a back, the kind that cuts deep between my glutes. I find one of my old thongs just like that. In my condition just getting myself into the pouch is going to be a fun challenge. But it is a challenge I am up to and know I will love how I feel once in.

But there is more! Next up I am going to put on a strap with a snug-fitting cup on over the thong. I found an old strap with a cup that fits very snug. This same strap has given me a lot of pleasant sensations over the years. I put that on. It still feels great. That thong back cutting deep between my glutes producing distinct but pleasant sensations. The cup pressing gently but firmly down on my penis that has been through so much tonight already. I am again horny as all get out.

I get to thinking that running tights could substitute for looser fitting sleep pants and I dig out an interesting yellow pair with a sewn-in pouch that fits neatly over the jock have on, pressing down on the cup holding my penis firmly in place. I crawl into those and add Andi low cut socks to my bare feet, and then I simply crawl into bad.

To my surprise I fall asleep almost immediately. After all my body has had quite a workout today and I have greatly enjoyed every minute of it. I wake up at 4 AM and I am still feeling way horny. I start tapping on the jock cup with my fingers and attempt to move it around a bit with the tights still in place. Even a slight movement of the cup sends shivers up my spine. I tug on the thong back, now deeply embedded between my glutes. Every tug feels sensational. I’m still enjoying myself in strange and wonderful ways. I have still not gone into the muscular contractions that are associated with ejaculation.

I fall asleep again. At 6:30 AM I pull off the tights and the cupped strap, still feeling way horny. My body is clearly loving where it has been for the last 10 hours or more. When I say clearly loving it, what I mean is that the inside of the thong pouch has some great clear precum stains on it, still wet. I was precumming in my sleep for sure.

So I get dressed and start thinking about writing this all up to share with you. I write best when I am feeling way horny, and this morning is proof of that. I will likely stay in this condition all day long. Then tonight, I will be ready to go at it again.

Enjoy!

[sebbie]

Fun, Super fun…

Edging entails taking yourself up to the very edge of going into the really enjoyable muscular contractions of ejaculation, but then backing off just before you get there, cooling down for a bit, and restarting. It is quite enjoyable to learn how to do this over multiple times on a single day and then over several days. Learning exactly when the point is reached where the orgasm becomes involuntary and thus not going over the edge is the tricky part. But expert edgers can go for a number of days, perhaps weeks doing this repeatedly without ejaculating. The mere thought of being able to do this often drives guys bananas in a fun way even as they are enjoying themselves immensely.

If you go over the edge it will take you a day or so to recover, assuming you are a young guy. For us older guys think more like 3-4 days before you get back to feeling really good (horny) again. But, on the plus side, edging is a technique guys will enjoy more and more as they grow older. Getting to the edge of orgasm without going over the edge gradually becomes the best part of being a male. If you are a younger guy, I know you are fixated on having the repeating muscular contractions of a real orgasm but at least think about experimenting with edging. If you are an older guy, maybe some of the edging techniques I employ on a daily basis will be useful and become as important to you as they are to me.

I have already explained that my little estim device and especially my penis pump get a lot of use. Younger guys—guys who need no “assistance” from a device might still find these devices and edging techniques useful as well. Every night I try some new stunts with my penis pump in terms of technique. Pump, stop, remove vacuum, pump again, stop,..etc etc. By the time I get through with running my penis “experiments” I am invariably big, red and hard, but, not at the point where I must immediately ejaculate. I follow this up with some quite enjoyable “old-school” masturbation, using a gel soap as I indicated previously, but I “constrain” myself as I specifically want to feel really good but not to the point where I am in ejaculation mode. That is the point where I jump into the warm water tub to “cool down” a bit. Given all the gel soap I had been using on myself, I emerge from the tub with really clean penis and balls, and though a little shorter now than when I got into the tub, my penis is still a neat rosy red color. AND psychologically I am still feeling way horny and focused. A neat place to be.

What next I am about to crawl into bed but I still want to be able to enjoy myself. I have a large collection of snug-fitting clothing items that I bought for just that purpose. I spot a black 2x(ist) underwear thong I had not worn in some time. I don’t think these are still being made. It has the classic Y-shaped cord back and a back that looks like a thin piece of elastic rope. And I quickly remember that this one fits way snug.

I crawl into the thong and, struggling I get my balls into the pouch along with my still partially engorged penis. It’s way snug and tight in there. But the neat peat is that in order to just get into the thong puts a lot of upward pressure on my perineum, that neat little nerve-filled spot just behind my balls. Hey this feels way good. And just pulling on the top of the “Y” buries the thong back deep between my glutes. It feels like an erotic rope there. I am truly loving it.

But there is more. I now spot a little Club Swim (now Sporti) “Euro brief, also in black, in my favorite 28” waist. These briefs fit but they do not quite cover the top of my crack. No problem, The thong is pushing my penis up and forward and the Club Swim brief is pressing down in the opposite direction. The opposing forces, along with the stimulation from the perineum back of the pouch and the cord between my glutes feels wonderful. The top of the “Y” can be tugged easily as it is above the rear of the swim brief. A place I want to be.

Finally I pull on my bright yellow running tights over the top of everything and crawl into bed. I am always amazed at how quickly I fall asleep given everything that is going on down there but I have a great night’s sleep. OK, on occasion I do wake up and check to see that everything is still in place, which it always is, somehow. I woke up at 6:30 and got out of everything, checking the inside of the thong pouch and noticing a still-moist silver-dollar sized precum stain. I must have precummed the whole night long.

I’m up and about now, and still feeling way horny. The best part is knowing I can do something similar tonight, and tomorrow night, and maybe even the night after that. I do not to have an orgasm if I can keep doing this over and over?

Besides, my writing is better when I am feeling way horny…

All the best to all of you!

[sebbie]

Thinking this morning about sex, life and swim briefs

Sometimes I go into a very deep-thinking, contemplative mood. Not quite “Why am I here?” but close to that. I live what can only be described as a solitary lifestyle. I never have cared that much about just hanging out with other people, the activity that most people seem to greatly enjoy. I am fine in situations where I must do this. I do not see myself as either a social nerd or as an outcast. Still, there is something about me that says I am happiest when I am alone, just tapping on my computer as well as engaging in other “activities” that are probably best done in private. In some ways, both mentally and physically, I am perfectly adapted to a covid-style shutdown. Over the years I have discovered all sorts of ways to enjoy myself while living in near-isolation.

The mystery that has always been confusing to me is why so many people seem to live for being in social and often sexual situations with other people. I have found this other way of life where I can be perfectly happy just being myself. Being around other people generally not what makes me happy. I discovered this at a very early age, maybe 12 or 13, when my parents thought I was old enough so that I could stay at home by myself when they went off running errands of various sorts. Of course it did not take me long to learn that these were real points in time for discovering how some interesting parts of my body worked. It wasn’t long before I was masturbating while wearing swimming gear I had in my dresser drawer or even in my underwear I had grown out of. After just a single session I was leaving some big cum-stains on various items of clothing, not to mention my bed sheets, and I was hoping that mom would not notice the interesting starchy yellow cum stains or if she did, she would not say anything to me about how they got there. Mom was great in that regard. At some level I was embarrassed about all of this but I was having so much sheer fun there was no way I could quit.

When I went off to college, I was always interested in figuring out how I was going to be able to continue to masturbate on a frequent basis without creating social issues with a roommate. But I managed to find a single dorm room that was connected to two double rooms with a shared common bath. Perfect! I could close my door and masturbate to my heart’s content and then just act normal around my suitemates without leaving any clues about my deep fondness for having solo sex. I was adapting very well to a lifestyle I enjoyed very much and increasingly developing a fondness for snug-fitting clothing that helped me get off on a frequent basis. I was doing my own laundry as well.

Over 50 years have passed and I still greatly enjoy doing a lot of the same things I enjoyed doing way back then. And in the process I have managed to remain a very happy person without ever getting into a messy sexual relationship with another person. This may seem weird to guys whose entire sexual being is intertwined with the idea of a sexual relationship with another, but from my vantage point the endless chases that guys go into in an effort to find this other person is the weird stuff and my situation is the normal one. It seems to me that a lot of guys are miserable in large measure because they never find what they are looking for. I have ended up assisting other guys going through one or more divorces—too many of them in my mind. I think I am seen as something of an interesting “case” simply because my happiness does not appear to be tied to a relationship. I know a lot of interesting stuff about being a happy guy who remains single and unattached.

As I was getting ready for bed last night I was thinking about all of this. I had just gone through my new nightly routine similar to what I described in the previous chapter and was in the process of picking out items to wear as sleepwear. I read a lot of stuff related to relationship sex problems guys are having with women. There are two tricky parts about male-female sex. First, “real” sex is supposed to result in an orgasm for both partners at the end, and second, ideally both orgasms should occur at about the same time. In particular it is usually the guy who ends up going into an orgasm first and the female orgasm comes later, and if the sex manuals are right, oftentimes for the female not at all. So the female ends up acting like she had an orgasm when in reality she did not end up where she desperately wanted to be. For guys, this is a medical condition called premature ejaculation. Great male lovers have conquered this.

So I am a big fan of edging for guys, though as a solo-sex not partner-sex activity for guys. I dare say that I have gotten very good at “bubbling along” just beneath the level where the involuntary muscle contractions begin. Learning to edge is an interesting way of developing one’s skills in delaying orgasm and thus reducing the instances where premature ejaculation in male-female partner sex occurs. But in relationship sex a guy often gets so focused on the need to ejaculate that the idea of holding off gets lost. Is not a guy more of a man if he ejaculates almost immediately in male-female partner sex? Well, maybe (or perhaps surely) not.

Still, how can a guy realistically practice edging if he is in a relationship situation 24/7 with a sexual partner? Not simple if the partner is female. And I often think that a gay male couple has some advantages here over a male-female couple, in part because the male partner might also find the edging techniques enjoyable to learn as a “together” activity. But, M-F, the situation changes entirely.

So, I keep going along edging (the slang term is getting hot-and-bothered) day-after-day. I have not felt the admittedly wonderful involuntary muscle contractions down there in well over a week. How long can I stand abusing my body this way? Well, much longer than when I was 30. Some 40 years later I fall asleep quickly when I am horny. I pick out something to wear as sleepwear, another thong, another swim brief and really tight running tights. I quickly fall asleep. I do not wake up until about 6 AM. I am still feeling just as horny as I did when I crawled into bed. In this state, ordinary problems and issues that might consume my attention during the day seem not so important at all largely because I am still feeling so good down there. This is amazing. Great fun. It’s almost like being 13 all over again. My body is a wonderful place to be. True, I am isolated and that is actually a great place to be as well. I’m looking forward to another night just like last night. Ejaculation is this momentary burst of intense pleasure, but edging is really where it is at and what I want to keep doing by, to and with myself.

Enjoy!