Thoughts on just being a guy

[sebbie]

Part LX

In the past few chapters I have described in detail some of the techniques I use to pleasure myself without having a partner of either sex with me. What I like to do to and with myself might prove helpful to other guys who for whatever reason find themselves in a situation whereby they are living alone and without a partner. It is in this spirit that I am writing this morning. Granted, some of what I describe might prove helpful to guys who do have partners as well in learning about how their own bodies work and respond to stimuli. This is actually an equal opportunity kind of thing.

Solo sex is a subject that is either not discussed or if it is mentioned in public, it is often in a derogatory way. “Oh yah! Surely some guys pleasure themselves, but this is something they do only until they develop the social skills required to find a partner for sex, and then it is easy to see that all guys clearly prefer partner sex and the solo sex part recedes into “things I used to do when I had no partner for sex, but abandoned once I became an adult.”

This attitude and outlook about solo masturbation is not only uninformed, at least for a lot of guys, it is probably also incorrect. A few of the sex researchers have actually tried to find the truth, by asking questions such as “When do you have your best orgasms, alone or with a sexual partner?” Surprisingly, a lot of guys (anonymously of course) will admit that they have more powerful orgasms playing with themselves than when they have sex with a partner.

No guy ever wants to admit that publicly, of course, because the entire idea runs counter to a bunch of different social and cultural norms, starting with all the women out there who are deeply ingrained with the idea that for straight men at least, being with a female is all that matters to a guy, sexually. Straight guys who do not have female partners are miserable in a host of different ways—perhaps emotional basket cases. And every guy is aware that women (ahem) often use sex to manipulate men as a means of getting what the woman wants which is often something unrelated to sex. I could push this idea some more but I will stop on that for now.

So, what I have described to you in the last three chapters is a marathon session of solo sex that I engaged in a couple nights ago that I thought was absolutely extraordinarily fun. Enough fun to write about. What I am trying to say that I went into a 10-hour long psychosexual “high” that lasted the entire night. Doing this I guess is something like a high on drugs but with none of the down side. Granted, I’m not the best witness on that one at all, except to say that I really felt good during this entire 10-hour period.

I tried to provide you with enough detail on exactly what I was doing to my body that made me feel so good as well as the special equipment that I used in the process (like the undersized strap and cup) such that the reader could try some of the same ideas. (If some of this all seems a little weird as in “that would never work for me for sure”, so be it. Don’t knock it until you try it yourself.)

Let us look at some of the facts. I had about 10 hours of fun without actually getting off at the end. I awoke restored and refreshed, and as I changed into my daytime clothing I was still feeling just as horny as I went to bed. I could have gotten off at the end and I thought about doing that, but I was enjoying myself so much by seeing how long I could just stay aroused I decided not to. Some guys may be uneasy about this.

That is not what is supposed to happen, is it? Encounters with sexual partners almost invariably should end with ejaculation, don’t they? And no partner would expect that a guy is going to stay aroused and horny for 10 hours straight, even while drifting in and out of sleep as I did several times during the night. Sexual encounters with a sexual partner need to have a clear beginning and an end, the end being a point where both partners have a really powerful orgasm, ideally almost simultaneously,…or do they?

In reality, what I described for you in detail is the specifics of how a guy can pleasure himself without a sexual partner. In going to bed, I knew I would be wearing a couple items that had given me a lot of pleasure over the years. That specific Jockey® brand thong and the Duke strap with the seemingly “mean” nearly-flat hard cup were both a lot of fun to wear, but almost unbelievably so when my body is hit with the combination of the thong pressing upward on my perineum in combination with the little snug-fitting hard cup bearing down on my penis that was attempting to get erect but did not have the necessary space.

I guess nearly every guy develops a collection of items that he enjoys wearing because they make him feel horny in some way. My collection could be a little bigger than many, but then I have lived my entire life single as well, something most guys do not do. I realize that a lot of guys end up with a collection of swim briefs not because they expect to go swimming wearing one but rather because they like wearing them in private but in particular they love how a guys penis feels pointed upward in a swim brief with the slick fabric relentlessly rubbing against the underside. And a lot of guys like to simply have the privacy needed to regularly do that.

At this point all of this is so enjoyable that even thinking about getting into a relationship with another person that might involves sex brings up thoughts about how I would ever explain all of this to another person and what parts of this if any could be brought into a relationship situation.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LXI
Sometimes my mind wanders back to when I was a very young child. I have been trying to recall when was the first time I ever recall seeing a photo of a guy wearing a swimming brief. I do not recall exactly when this first happened to me, but my best guess is that it was when I was very young, perhaps only about 5 or 6 years old. All I remember is that when I saw that first photo, I was already thinking about how much I wanted to be that guy and be able to wear a swim brief like that.

For me, this would have been way before puberty, and I couldn’t have been more than vaguely aware of the fact that there were some interesting sensations that could happen in the groin area, but that was about it. I had lots to learn, but for me, the fascinating thing was how much I longed to be able to have an excuse to wear a swim brief, even at a very young age.

The problem in my early years was that I lived in a rural area, a long way from a swimming pool, and had essentially no opportunity to interact with boys who hung out at swimming pools. My only exposure to getting in the water involved going to “the lake” which was really the basin of a dammed up river. And the guys there were all wearing swimsuits that were usually plaid boxers. These suits were short, but they were made of woven cloth. They did fit high on the leg, like an athletic short.

There was, however a “secret” to these shorts. Inside they all had what was called a supporter inside. Not a jock strap-style supporter but rather a brief-style supporter made from an open weave fabric with the legs banded in elastic. This was a swim “brief” of sorts, but a something of a “secret” swim brief. Still, as I got a little older the mere thought of being in a brief, hidden or not, was giving me an erection. And because I liked that feeling I started to look for excuses to wear my swimsuit even if I was not going swimming.

As a young kid, on warm days I liked to get into my plaid swimsuit ostensibly to cool off, but practically I quickly got to like having the excuse to wear my suit with the neat-feeling internal support brief. I would spray my body with warm water out of a garden hose that had been laying outdoors. I knew my penis liked to get big once inside the suit. And after my suit was soaked I would pull the suit off and get back into my regular clothes.

Anyway, I did not quite realize this could happen. I looked down there inside the suit, and my penis had somehow grown quite big and hard. My mom was standing right there. Just as I pulled down the suit to get into my other clothes, I started to ejaculate, with my mom standing right there looking at me. My mom must have been somewhat taken aback by this but she remained composed. I expected to be scolded in some manner. I was terrified. I had probably had the occasional wet dream by then, but I think this was the first time that I had ever ejaculated in the daytime. I did not know what to think or expect next.

But mom did not scold me. She seemed to take what had happened all in stride. She did, however offer me some words of advice. “If you don’t want your penis to do that, you need to quit thinking about it so much when you are wearing your swimsuit!” I thought to myself “Easier said than done, mom.” But I said nothing.

My cousins and their parents from the west coast only occasionally drove home for a visit--a distance of nearly 1400 miles. We were all rural kids and lived a rather solitary existence. My cousins, similar in age to me, were growing up in a more urban setting, and had obviously got to do some things we rural kids hadn’t gotten to do. But then, we had some advantages too in that we had grown up around farm animals and thus we knew more of the details of stuff like how animals mated. The city cousins all seemed to wonder if farm animals bite if you try to feed them out of your hand. Of course they don’t and getting an animal to be tame enough so they would come and eat out of your hand was part of the fun, and then seeing the cousins watch in amazement as, say, a chicken would peck grain out of your hand (which was great fun because it tickled a bit).

So one year, (I am trying to think exactly when) my cousins came from the west coast to visit. One of the cousins was a boy about a year older than me, and the other cousin was about a year younger. I think I was about 12, so the older cousin was probably 13 and the younger one, 11. Exactly where I was on the puberty scale I’m uncertain, except to say that stuff was probably well underway. Parents and kids, we were joined by other local cousins and went off to the lake and to simply relax. We all wore our swimsuits under our clothes so we could get into the water. I was no doubt in my plaid trunks with the support liner. So my two urban cousins got out of their clothes and down to the suits they had worn to get into the water.

Lo and behold, both my cousins were both wearing swim briefs. And not sloppy, loose-fitting briefs either, but slick smooth briefs that looked very similar to those you see today. I don’t recall a brand name, but think 3” Speedo. I think both of them had been taking swimming lessons at school, so these were briefs a swim coach would have approved of.

The brief my younger cousin was wearing particularly interested me. It was bright shiny royal blue, and fit his body almost like a second skin. He looked great in it—the look was far better than the sloppy trunks I was wearing for sure.

We spent some time in the water, and then we were out. My cousins stayed in their swim briefs. I probably changed out of my trunks because my woven suit would have been sloppy wet.

My aunt (who was my cousin’s mom) said that my younger cousin did something she thought was a little strange. He liked to keep wearing his swimsuit even when he was in the water. What he was doing of course, was wearing the brief instead of cotton underwear.

My aunt may have wondered about this, but somehow I didn’t think what he was doing was odd at all. I had already figured out that my cousin had decided he liked the fit and feel of the swim brief better than standard underwear (I would have too).

So, my cousins slept in various places on vacation and my younger cousin was scheduled to be staying at my parent’s farm that night. In fact, he would be sleeping in the same double bed as I. Was my cousin going to sleep in the royal blue suit as well? I would be able to find out exactly what his plan was.

Turns out, not. Just before he crawled into bed he pulled of the suit and put on a pair of pajama bottoms and threw the suit onto the bed. It laid there shiny and blue, white piping on each side, still seemingly kinda stiff in pretty much the shape it was when he was wearing it. I would have loved to have tried crawling into it if only for a few minutes, but I was far too shy to ask. Still, that royal blue suit that day and night left an indelible mark on my brain, still vivid today, 50 years later. I have never dared ask my cousin if he remembers any of this. I don’t dare, and I never will.

To be continued….

[sebbie]

Part LXII

Interesting questions to ponder and my responses to each…
Why do guys want to wear swim briefs rather than another style that offers more body coverage?

1 The choice of swimmer-athletes. The design helps guys swim faster in competition. This is the original argument when they were introduced by Speedo® many years ago.

2 Dries quickly and once dry can be worn like underwear under street clothing.

3 Fun to wear. Many guys love to wear a swim brief and study their own bodies in detail. The smooth slick fabric against the penis is erotic fun. A lot of guys get turned on by seeing how their body looks under tension from being inside the brief, particularly watching as a penis expands and gets harder inside the limited space available. Thus, many guys like to use the swim brief as a masturbation aid while watching themselves in a mirror, and in this regard the snugger the brief fits the better.

4 Guys who admire fit swimmer-athletes sometimes want to look the part as well, similar to owning a jersey of a basketball star.

5 Lots of neat fun to get into a brand new swim brief not quite knowing how it is going to fit and how it will tug and pull your body.

Why are guys often apprehensive about wearing a swim brief in public?

1 The coverage is so minimal guys worry that they will be noticed teased an maybe even bullied if seen in public with an obvious penis even if it is totally covered by the brief

2 “That is not what the other guys my age are wearing” There is a male “herding” instinct going on here as to what clothing is OK versus not OK. What the other guys are doing is fine, but if I am the only one wearing a brief that is not good.

3 A lot of guys are apprehensive about the possibility of mild arousal leading to a full-scale hard-on in public and an inability to control one’s urges. The possibility of this happening is both terrifying but terrific fun and that both are going on at the same time makes a lot of guys, well, scared.

4 What happens if in public place I start to feel just like I did standing in front of a mirror and looking at my body clad in the brief when I was alone in private and what do I do if that does happen?

5 Swim briefs tend to be associated with gay guys. And a lot of people seem to think that if they see a guy in a swim brief, this is approximately the same as a “gay” guy advertising himself to other gay males. For better or worse, swim briefs are associated with gay guys.

Why do so many women claim to dislike even the idea of a guy wearing a swim brief however fit he might be?

1 They have bought into the idea that any guy in a swim brief not n a swimming or diving competition must be gay, and thus definitely not a “catch” for a heterosexual female.

2 Women are wired differently sexually from men. A lot of women are unhappy that male sex organs are so “obvious” and a swim brief makes it very clear and all too obvious that a guy is different sexually from a female and that a guy has balls and a penis that is symbolic of male domination.

3 Many if not most women in a relationship with a guy whether they are a girlfriend or married to the guy. As such, they feel very threatened in a situation where other women could easily gawk at their guy’s sex organs even if fully covered by the brief. A woman who is OK seeing her guy in a swim brief in private may be all but OK if he is parading around in a situation where other females could gawk.

4 Some women claim that they are OK with a guy wearing a swim brief but only if the guy is in “perfect” physical condition AND under 30. They set high standards reasoning that these standards will deter a lot of guys who are even only slightly less fit from ever “daring” to wear a swim brief. But that is the entire point.

5 What goes on in private between a heterosexual couple may be very different from what is permitted in public. Without the concern (threat) from other women gawking a woman is perfectly free to “enjoy” seeing her own guy clad in a skimpy swim brief and maybe in an aroused state. This all could be an enjoyable prelude to partner sex for both. A guy could keep a selection of swim briefs for the same reason a women might want to own a selection of erotic lingerie she knows her guy would like to see her wearing.

Many men seem more than comfortable with their girlfriend or wife out in public wearing a string bikini or thong with a swimming bra that barely covers the nipples. Why is this?

1 This behavior has its roots in the idea of a “trophy” wife or girlfriend and a guy feeling that his status with his male colleagues or peers is enhanced if they see how he obviously succeeded in the dating game. In short, most guys happily put up with some peer male gawking of his significant other, so long as it doesn’t go “too far”.

2 So long as the female is willing to simply play along with this, all is well. I suspect that the gawking in some interesting ways might be erotic for the female.

Are gay guys really into skimpy swim briefs?

1 Yes they are. At least many of them are. Compared with the male-female complexities relating to swim briefs, the male-male situation is easy to understand. Both males have the same wiring and so what one of the two does in this regards should come as no surprise to the other. If a gay guy enjoys wearing skimpy swim briefs and even (ahem) gets aroused and hard in them, the tricky part is to find a male partner who likes very much the same thing. Swim brief heaven!

2 There are lots of aspects of gay male relationships that are far easier to navigate than is true for heterosexual couples, and this is only one of them. I suppose it is possible for a gay couple to disagree about this, but I have trouble thinking that the disagreement could ever be as complicated as what it might be for a straight couple.

What do lesbians, feminists and other females who are not sexually attracted to males think about guys wearing swim briefs?

1 This is a fascinating but difficult to answer question at least with a general degree of certainty.

2 I presume that most women who describe themselves as falling into one of these categories are put off, or perhaps even described as "repulsed" by the sight of a male penis even if covered by a swimming brief.

3 The first reaction women who describe themselves this way is that on seeing a guy wearing a swim brief in public, if he is not a competitive athlete, then he must be a gay guy.

4 Socially and politically, gay men and lesbian women sometimes are grouped together. But they couldn’t be more different in all sorts of different ways.

5 Part of the anger some women seem to have with respect to guys wearing swim briefs in public seems to be tied to a feminist perspective that the only truly acceptable guy is one who appears to not have any male sex organs, and a guy wearing even a modest swim brief is still going to obviously have some body parts that are offensive to see

6 In short, a lot of gay guys seem to flaunt their maleness by wearing a swim brief in public and a lot of women who are in the lesbian/feminist mode find that highly offensive and out of order.

7 My bottom line is that most women on the lesbian/feminist side really do not want to see guys hanging out in swim briefs under any circumstance.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LXIII

I have frequently thought about what I call the “seasonality” of horniness. A general idea is that for both sexes tend to mere easily go into a state of feeling aroused in the warm summer months than in the cool or cold winter seasons.

If you enjoy ejaculating (and what guy doesn’t?) you might think about whether or not your frequency follows any sort of seasonal pattern. This can be either in self-pleasuring or partner sex or some combination of the two. Do you tend to want to do it more often when the weather is warm or cold or does it not matter at all to you as in about the same interest in every season?

Another aspect of this is age related. As a young man, I was probably much like every other young man who really treasured any opportunity I had to get a hard on and conclude with a powerful ejaculation. There was absolutely nothing more enjoyable than getting to watch my own semen spurt out of my body and I became very fond of doing this.

But as I gradually grew older, the herky jerky part, while extraordinary fun, was only part of what I liked so much. Gradually I liked to more and more just “simmer”. Simmering means maintaining a significant arousal level perhaps with only a minimal erection if any, but going for increasingly lengthy periods of remaining in this semi-aroused state without going into a full-blown ejaculation. As I got older, more and more I began to increasingly enjoy these subtle aspects of male sexual arousal, using precum production as a visual gauge for determining whether or not I was enjoying myself and certainly not how rapidly I went into full-scale ejaculation mode.

Now, as some would say, I am an old man. Going into an orgasm is still possible and really enjoyable, except that it may take me a day or more to fully recover. For 24 hours or more after, I now feel sluggish and disinterested in sensations from my groin area that I would have loved very much had I not only recently got off. This poses more than a small dilemma..Now that I am retired, I don’t need to go to work. I can go for hours and even days literally feeling aroused and slowly precumming away, Or I can go into a mode in which I get off, enjoy my full orgasm immensely, then feel sluggish for a day or two before I start to come around and again get interested in playing with my sexual body.

This may seems strange to a guy in his 20s, but generally overall I like the first option I outlined much better than the second. And the first option seems to keep me going through the cold winter months as well. Occasionally I will still get off but getting off every couple days is no longer my most important goal. I would rather see just how long I can simmer.

You have already been introduced to a lot of the clothing items I use to help me simmer. As we are now into December, I thought I would share with you a little more details as to how this all works in all seasons. All of you also know that as a septuagenarian I still pursue an extensive exercise program with stationary rowing, a stationary bike and a weight machine. Part of what allows me to keep this up is that I like to get clothing items that make me feel good down there while I am exercising. I’m 5’10” and this morning I weighed 149.6 lbs.

I like to layer the clothing. For daytime wear, summer and winter, you will usually find the first layer to be a pair of tighty whiteys, ideally Boys size 10-12. These way snug-fitting cotton briefs are absorbent (they soak up the precum) and always feel way neat against my body. Over those in the warmer months a pair of swimming jammers or some traditional thigh-length compression shorts (the TSLA ones from Amazon are good quality and inexpensive. Size SM fits me fine.The Jammers from suppliers such as TYR I like to undersize to a 28” waist.)

Depending on how horny I am feeling, sometimes I put on an old school strap on over the tighty whiteys but under the jammers—usually without a cup but occasionally with a cup. The cup makes the time fly when stationary rowing and stationary biking but some days I am not “up” to quite this much groin tension.

My top is usually a short sleeved compression tee. And I can always pull on a looser fitting pair of shorts over the compression shorts or jammers if I am expecting visitors.

Summer sleepwear usually is just a bit too snug swim brief but I sometimes wear a loose fitting tee with that.

Then as the weather starts to turn cooler in the fall I still start with the tighty whiteys, but then I like to pull over a pair of running tights instead of the jammers or compression shorts. Then genuine football pants are fun to pull over the tights. (And of course, if I am wearing football pants how could I not also be wearing a strap and an undersized cup too?) Stationary rowing is particularly enjoyable with that combo. Every stroke sends way interesting message to my brain. I am very fond of the “messages” I receive from down there.

At night I may switch from the skimpy swim brief to a square legged brief/underwear that still fits close to my body.

Then in really cold weather I stick with the tighty whiteys and the running tights, but pull on a pair of looser-fitting sweatpants over. I still wear a long sleeved compression tee but with a looser-fitting sweatshirt on top. And, on occasion you would still find a strap (either cupped or not) between the tighty whiteys and the running tights.

At night, in the winter, I like to wear pile sleeping pants and a tee. What I wear underneath the sleeping pants each night depends on how much I want to challenge myself. You have already read in detail my experience with an undersized thong, strap and cup as nighttime wear in the winter. Less challenging for this but still fun is an undersized Seobean® swim brief. I particularly like the ones that are just not quite big enough to fully cover my butt crack leaving a Y-pattern at the rear. I spend the night tugging away on the rear of the brief, which snugs everything a little tighter. I need to be really careful though, as at about 3 AM this can get the best of me, and I end up getting to a point where the only way out is to have a full-scale orgasm which then shuts me down for a day or sometimes two. The real trick of course is to keep myself aroused but not quite enough to go into ejaculation mode. Of course it is fun to see exactly how far I can take this,--right to the very edge, as the sensations keep getting more and more pleasant, but on occasion I have been known to slip right over the edge .

To be continued…