Thoughts on just being a guy

[sebbie]

Part L

So I awaken this morning, and my penis is clamoring for my attention. “Hey you have been ignoring me for some time now” it seems to be telling me.

I think “Well, I have places to go and things to do today. And I can’t give you the attention I am sure that you would like to have. Still, I understand why you are frustrated with me for just acting as if you hardly exist at all.”

Well, penises are a lot like many of us. We often operate in a world in which we cannot get everything we might want at that moment, but we will perhaps be willing to settle for something less. But what? “Well if there is obviously no time for a full-scale masturbation session, at least put me into something that is snug and tight.”

In case you have not already figured this all out, penises love being stuck in snug and tight places. I guess this all must be into built into their DNA or genetic code, so to speak. But even here there are snug and tight places and there are places that are really snug and tight. There are degrees of all of this. Really snug and tight sets off an irreversible chain of events that invariably leads to a full-scale orgasm. I just told you I had things to do and places to go and I really don’t have time for all of that this morning. But my penis is still clamoring for attention.

So, what can I o this morning to make my penis happy without getting into something that will take some time. And that is where the super undersized tighty whiteys come in.

I have long worn tighty whiteys as my basic undergarment. I have lots of pairs of them, and they vary in size a lot. Each morning when I get up I make a decision as to what size I am going to wear that day, and my penis essentially tells me what size I should choose for that particular day. Let’s face it: Some days are just good days for feeling horny—I know that sensation of being tugged around with my penis calling me for attention without getting too aroused. Some days I have so many complex things to do that have nothing to do with my groin and I simply don’t want to be “bothered” with feeling horny. So, the latter days are Men’s cotton briefs size 30-32.

But I have other choices in snugger sizes. Boy’s white cotton briefs traditionally come in sizes 16-18, 12-14, and 10-12. 16-18 are nearly as big as a men’s SM, 12-14 are clearly smaller. But I have discovered that a guy with a nominal waist size of 30-32 can fit into a pair of briefs labeled 10-12. The fit will be really snug and tight, but cotton briefs do stretch a lot, and from your penises perspective, this is a great place to be. Your penis in its most comfortable position will be pointing forward.

Then, I have discovered that cotton briefs are a great lining for compression gear as the Tesla® shorts I have that fit snug to the thigh. I’m not sure if they are supposed to be underwear, athletic compression gear or both, but it doesn’t make any difference.

Topping that of course is a neat pair of Pac Sun® skinny jeans. I like how all the layers work together to make me feel horny, even as I go about my daily tasks. The tighty whiteys feel great under the tesla shorts, and the fit and feel of the Tesla shorts on my thighs is especially nice under the Pac Sun® jeans. I am feeling horny this morning, of course. My penis seems happy for the attention. Yet I am OK to go out and about this way to do the things I need to do.

It is a fine day for me today. You should try this just to see how your body reacts to the combination.

To be continued….

[sebbie]

Part LI

The weather is suddenly turning colder, and the guys who enjoyed wearing Speedos® and compression shorts all summer long are now thinking about how to stay warmer but still horny during the colder winter months. That is where a nice pair of undersized running tights comes in.

I’m fond of brief-style swimwear and underwear, but skimpy clothing like a swim brief is not going to be that comfortable during the colder months. Except, of course, there is an alternative for staying warm and cozy, and that alternative, of course is a snug-fitting pair of running tights.

I also confess that I am very fond of how the “right” pair of running tights fit and make me feel down there. Guys who like to wear a skimpy swim brief as a base layer instead of “real” underwear are probably also aware of the possibility of slipping on a pair of running tights right over the top in cooler weather. Or, if you normally wear tighty whiteys (aka white cotton briefs) as your base-level garment, as I do, the running tights work equally well as a secondary layer. Try both options and see how each works in your own case.

Growing up as a kid on the Northern Plains, we normally made a transition from short cotton underwear to long at about this time of year. Now the traditional long underwear (aka long Johns) were designed to be worn under other clothing, say jeans, so the stretch cotton was designed to fit snug all the way through the thigh and calf to the ankle. This left room for at least one additional bottom layer (in the coldest weather, maybe even two additional layers.

The traditional long johns were coarse textured stretch cotton that felt not that comfortable against the skin. But the new stretch nylon running tights are much slicker and sleeker, fitting almost like a second skin. The sensations are on the edge of feeling horny. Plus, at the on line vendors there are a lot of quality running tights available for $10 or $15 a pair.

What I like about the fit of a pair of running tights is how they grip my thighs and then my calf muscles. If you are into body conditioning (in my case stationary rowing) the right pair of running tights will allow you do display the results of your work. Today I am functioning wearing a pair of undersized tighty whiteys as a base layer, next a pair of slightly undersized running tights and a compression tee, followed by a layer of looser fitting navy cotton sweat pants and a gray long sleeved sweatshirt. The combination feels a little erotic but not too much so. It is perfect given the 20-degree outdoor temperature and the workout I have planned for this morning.

If you want to have some fun, read the Web question and discussions related to specific running tights and what is the correct size to purchase. They run all over the place and to a certain degree follow the discussions related to what size swim brief is correct.

A lot of guys seem nervous about undersizing even a little despite the fact that running tights are made to stretch a lot. (I wonder why!) But it’s the snuggest fits that really feel good on the body, and guys really need to have the opportunity to experience exactly what I am telling you for yourself. With the right-sized (undersized) pair of running tights your workout time will pass much more quickly as you feel better and better as your workout progresses. Some guys are probably fearful of all of this and how their body might react for the same reason they are fearful of getting into a swim brief they think is a little too small for them. Same deal. Do I have to make myself even more explicit with respect to exactly what I am trying to convey?

My readers are smarter than that, I think, and I hope all of you can not only get your heads around what I have just told you and that your cold winter days turn out to be as enjoyable as the hot summer days were.

If you need help with on line purchases of such compression gear, I recommend the Tesla® brand of compression gear as being excellent quality with a nice snug fit and at a very reasonable price.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LII

I confess, on some days just layering a pair of running tights over a snug-fitting pair of tighty whiteys is not quite enough, and I get an urge to add something more into the mix. For me, that something more often centers on the idea of adding a nice snug-fitting jock strap with a hard cup.

How about layering everything, and putting the strap and cup OVER the running tights and then maybe adding a second pair of compression shorts OVER the running tights to hold all the pieces securely in place?

I confess, I’m a great fan of old school jock straps. I’ve long thought that jock straps were a really neat piece of sports gear for a number of reasons. I’ve always loved how a strap fits a guy’s body, a traditional strap with the wide elastic waistband and leg straps that repeatedly tug against the strap pouch that contains a guy’s most sensitive and interesting body parts.

Then adding the hard cup somehow just seems to add to the pleasure. Not any hard cup mind you, but one that is just barely big enough to be able to contain your still-flaccid penis. I realize a lot of guys make the mistake of somehow believing that a bigger cup is a better cup, even one large enough for a semi-erect penis to flop around freely inside.

Truth is, the really enjoyable cups are the smaller ones, ideally one one just barely big enough to fit around a guy’s flaccid penis. Part of the fun here is surely psychological, part of it is physical. Once a guy’s brain is aware of the fact that his penis is going to be contained with only a limited amount of space to grow into, the penis seems to respond by growing just enough so that the penis senses the presence of the walls of the cup, and psychologically when that happens this leads to all sorts of interesting and pleasant sensations and fond longings.

Think about this. In partner sex. Once a guy enters a partner the walls of his penis are snugly surrounded by the partner’s body parts, and the presence of the walls of the partner is one half of what makes partner sex so much fun.

OK, so a strap with a hard cup is not the equivalent to real partner sex. We all know that. For starters, the walls of the cup are firm and immovable. But this simple fact leads to the possibility of getting to explore some fascinating sensations.

The other feature of all of this that I have long thought makes cupped straps so interesting is that unlike in plain ordinary masturbation, it is extremely difficult to ejaculate while still being inside a strap and cup. The best a guy can do is try to move the strap and cup a little in an effort to limit the tension on the penis, but that somehow usually makes matters worse not better. Indeed, holding the cup in a near immovable position for me at least is part of the fun. Realizing that I can’t resolve the dilemma and simply go into ejaculation mode makes the situation at hand ultimately more fun not less fun.

So I simply crawled into the strap and hard cup by putting it on me over the top of the running tights which themselves are over the pair of undersized tighty whiteys. Then a pair of compression shorts goes over the strap and cup and the other layers below. Then a pair of sweat pants over everything else.

With all of this going on I really am longing to to ejaculate. The sensual pressure steadily builds. I’m precumming all over the place. My body is getting unmistakable urges. But I have a workout on a stationary rowing machine to do. That will take 30 minutes.

Still, even with the intensifying longing to ejaculate, I’m really enjoying myself and my body. I am very aware of all the stuff going on in my groin area. The rowing went along very quickly. But I still really need to ejaculate. I wonder how long I can stand this. The sensations seem to vary moment by moment. Just pressing down on the cup with my hand is a lot of fun. This strap and cup is terrific!

So, you have been enjoying yourself all afternoon by staying inside your cup while going through your exercise routine and daily chores. By now, you should be feeling more than a little horny as the urge to ejaculate steadily builds.

What is the best way to finish this all off? Once you get yourself past a certain point, I recommend stripping everything off that you are wearing layer by layer. But before you do that pick out your snuggest and Skimpiest swim brief, perhaps one by Desmiit® or Seobean® Once you get yourself out of the layers of compression shorts, the strap with the cup, the running tights and the undersized tighty whiteys, it’s time to pull yourself into the tiny swim brief. This might not be that easy to do as you could be pretty big and hard by now. Point your penis up with the underside pressed against the pouch of the brief. If you have a hand vibrator to touch the underside of your penis, dig that out and all the better. Touch the underside of your erect penis lightly and repeatedly, either with the vibrator or with the tips of your fingers, and just see what happens. You should be fully charged by now. With luck this will be one of your best orgasms ever, alone or with a partner.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LIII

I have but a single mission in writing all of this, and that mission is to make certain that every guy irrespective of sexual orientation and whether or not he is in a relationship with a sexual partner or not is able to enjoy being a guy and all that this involves.

Some of you have long wondered why I seem to devote so little discussion with respect to partner sex. After all, is not being with another person sexually what sex is all about? And aren’t the guys who have orgasms without another person somehow missing out on what is really important in life and in being a guy?

Well, maybe, but maybe not. This part is confusing I know for a lot of guys. These same guys think that solo sex is often fun, but no substitute for the “real thing’ which is partner sex. To them I say, simply, “To each his own!”

I learned that my body had some interesting places that were quite touch-sensitive. But it has taken me a lifetime to sort through all of this.

Maybe I have somehow learned to enjoy my sleeping time more than most guys, I don’t know. I think I started learning about this when I was only 11 or 12 years old. I can’t believe how long ago that was and I am still enjoying myself in much the same way.

Last night, for example, I was starting to feel a little horny, or I think that is what was happening. It has turned cold here, too cold to wear simply a swim brief to bed, which I have been known to do on hot summer days. But still, some interesting “signals” were stirring inside of me. But this was a time for sleeping in a tee and sleep pants.

What to do? Why wear a swim brief UNDER the sleep pants. And not some old, stretched-out loose-fitting suit but rather one I knew was going to fit, errr, maybe a bit TOO snug and TOO tight.

What do I have in my collection that fits the bill and is consistent with how I am feeling about myself? How about this little “Club Swim” Euro brief. The size on the tag says 28. And these little briefs I know are sized snug. 2-inch sides, blue. I get into the brief and am starting to feel pretty good already. I take a look at myself in the mirror. Unlike the Aqux and Seobean briefs I have, this Club Swim brief will cover my butt crack, but only if I tug at it. And this means that with each tug there is even less space up front.

It is obvious that I am starting to precum, as a wet spot is already forming near the tip of my penis. My penis is almost straight forward and a little bit up. Can I stand this, and if so, for how long can I go?

I decide to pull on the sleep pants over the little blue swim briefs. Maybe if I crawl into bed everything will calm down, and I can make it through the night OK

Everything seems fine for maybe 20 or 30 minutes. I seem to have calmed down a little. Maybe I will fall asleep without getting off and make it through the night.

But then, I “accidentally” start touching myself. And not in any ordinary place, but just a light tapping movement on the underside of my penis. Not a stroke as such mind you, but just a light but repetitive touch.

And then the strangest but most wonderful thing happens. This might be the most wonderful part of all about male sexuality. The nerve endings on the underside of my penis now seem to be almost “hard wired” (no pun intended) right into the most profound pleasure centers in my brain. A couple taps on the underside of my penis and I start muttering out loud “I like that! I like that!’ A couple more taps and I am saying over and over again “This is wonderful! Marvelous!” I like it! I like it.” What a profound pleasure!

Tension builds as I engage in still more tapping on the underside of my penis, slightly more rapidly now. Well. You can imagine that I’m unable to last much longer in this state of arousal. Soon I am well into a most powerful, herky-jerky, repetitive, mind-blowing orgasm, and thinking to myself how truly wonderful this is. What I learned about certain places on my body at age 11 or 12 is still most marvelous.

After that, I quickly fall asleep, wakening the next morning fully refreshed but still longing to try this another time, perhaps wearing a slightly different swim brief.

And any guy can do this with only a minimum of “equipment”—in this case a “right-sized” swim brief. A complicated sexual relationship with another person is not necessary at all.

Why am I laying this story out in such detail? Well I don’t want any of you to “miss out” on what I experienced. Take full advantage of who you are (and your collection of undersized swim briefs!)

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LIV

One of the most interesting parts about male sexuality is how guys end up learning about all the fine details of what is before them. I know that for some of my readers, sexual thoughts almost immediately turn to thoughts about finding a partner that a guy is close enough to in order to enjoy sex together, but as any guy (or female for that matter) can tell you, the world of sexual partners can not only be extremely complicated but often times overwhelming to the point of being disgusting to try and deal with all of the complex nuances. In short,. A sexual relationship with a partner can be a lot of fun under the best of circumstances, but those circumstances occur less frequently than most guys would like to admit.

Still, I have to say that I am happy for guys who have somehow found a path to navigate all of this. I wish them all the best in that regard. What they have managed to do is no small accomplishment and usually requires great effort. Guys don’t somehow just “fall” into a rewarding sexual relationship with a partner. Indeed, for most guys, this requires work, hard work!

Then there are the rest of us. Those of us who perhaps consider ourselves less lucky. Maybe some of us even believe that the other guys are able to navigate a sexual partnership because they are smarter or better equipped to do so. That is an interesting thought. I need to think about that for a moment. Perhaps a lot of what we think might be happening for the other guys is delusional. Any relationship, straight or gay, has its rocky moments. Two different people by definition are not going to be wired the same sexually. At some level we all understand that. And maybe what we think is happening to our “lucky” friends at some level is delusional, well; at least some of it, anyway.

I like to think that most of what I know about male sexuality I had picked up by the time I was in the 6th grade. Heck, maybe it was earlier than that. I know it was a long time ago. My friends all seemed to be bouncing around in the early stages of what a close relationship with another person might turn out to be from a sexual perspective. All of this was at some level quite amusing.

This same plot of sorts has been played out in a myriad of coming-of-age movies. Guys discovering girls. Antics similar to the story line of “Summer of ’42.” What it would be like to “be” with an older woman even if for only once.

My path didn’t seem to follow that story line at all. In the 6th grade, I was masturbating a lot. I presume my male classmates were doing the same thing, but I thought that was far too private a subject to ever discuss openly. How a guy gets off alone or with a partner is a really private subject for most guys, despite all the movies. I guess some guys that age are fantasizing about being with women as they masturbate, as in, follows the same path as the coming-of-age movies did.

All of this means that solo sex, aka masturbation, remains a very taboo topic for a lot of guys, guys who are far more at ease talking about a sexual encounter with a partner than one that happened alone.

This is like the discovery of parallel worlds in physics. There is this world of partner sex that everyone knows about and accepts a world that a guy can hardly avoid not seeing. But then there is this other, hidden, parallel world that from the standpoint of sexual enjoyment is in much the same place and in many ways sexually at least as enjoyable but almost completely hidden. Some guys get off by thinking about having sex with a female (or male) partner and this is considered quite “normal” thank you. But for other guys this is all unnecessary. Interesting stuff, but in many ways scary at some level as well. In part one needs to understand that not all guys are wired the same with respect to a need to psychologically involve a sexual partner even when jerking off alone.

Like I say, I had figured out most of what I am telling you today by the time I had reached the 6th grade, but I was unable to write it down. Actually, had I written it down it probably would have been seen by others as strange, weird, embarrassing or even outlandish.

So, it is important to recognize that guys have two paths when they get off alone. The conventional path involves the psychology of imagining and thus rationalizing you are with a partner even though you are alone. Guys rationalize masturbating that way as being just the logical extension of what would be still better as an orgasm happening within partner sex.

But there is also this other hidden path. Guys discovering that they can easily get aroused and hard without even thinking about being with a sexual partner. The “penis operating on its own” mode where the penis just “decides” it’s time to get hard and”tells” a guy’s brain about what is going on in the groin area. Then guys quickly discover that it is possible to get a penis erect not by thinking about having “real” sex with a partner, but merely because a guy somehow got stimulated by something happening in the groin area.


And, not long after a guy “discovers” that the “right” (or wrong if you want to think about it that way) garment can prove “helpful” in turning this all on and off. To illustrate, guys discover that masturbating in the nude is fun, but it is even more fun to masturbate while wearing a snug,-fitting smooth-textured garment like a little swim brief. Shortly after guys discover this they start “collecting” clothing items that might prove useful in this regard. There are a lot of these, of course, and the manufacturers know that there is a demand for these items that is coming from this parallel world that guys do not even like to admit exists. For a guy learning the finer points of solo sex, it doesn’t take long to identify some items that might prove “helpful” in this regard, but admitting this to anyone else opens a door into a parallel world that a lot of guys think is somehow embarrassing, unnatural and somehow should remain closed to outsiders. The problem is that this parallel world can indeed be a lot of fun, but particularly so for guys who do not have a readily available sexual partner.

There is more to this story—much more!

To be continued…

[sebbie]

Part LV

So there are really two paths for guys emerging from puberty, the first being what I call the path of awareness of the possibilities for having sex with a partner and all that entails. A male post puberty is bombarded with stuff related to this. The content nowadays is all but impossible to avoid seeing. Movies, the Internet, you name it. Almost every place a guy looks there is stuff that is linked to the basic idea of sex with a partner. Even a simple Internet search involving only a few words will take you to Internet sites that are explicitly sexual.

When I was growing up in a rural area in the 1950s, I admit that things were a lot different. There was no Internet let alone an Internet containing readily available explicit sexual content. Movies with explicit sexual themes or even coming-of-age dramas were uncommon. In the 60s, a movie like “The Graduate” was generally considered quite explicit. And by the 1970s it was a coming-of-age movie like “Summer of ‘42”.

So, lacking sources of visual information such as these, guys back then were pretty much left on their own to figure out exactly what partner sex was all about and exactly how body parts could be made to fit together. Just getting the basics proved difficult. There were libraries with encyclopedias that contained textbook-like information on male and female body part, but even these sources were rather limited. And there was little information dealing with the psychology that is involved when two people embark on a sexual relationship, “The Graduate” and “Summer of ’42” notwithstanding.

Still, guys (girls too) were built the same way with the same innate sexual wiring as they have today. There haven’t somehow been core biological changes in how human beings are built in the last 75 years. And human beings have always been blessed with some of the most sensitive and interesting nerve endings in the groin area. And growing up to be an adult, both then and now, means tapping into these and learning more fully how this stuff works both from a physical and a psychological perspective.

So, where does this all lead, anyway? One obvious conclusion is that guys don’t suddenly discover on the day that they have their first post-pubescent wet dream that they can immediately move into a relationship with a willing sexual partner. That is probably a long ways off still. Growing into young adulthood rather frequently occurs in a series of steps. At first a guy does not want to admit that he ejaculated at all during the night. Then somehow a guy starts to think that this must be OK because his body just did this “on its own”, erotic dream of some sort or not, despite those interesting starchy stains on his pajama bottoms in the morning (which, ideally, no one should draw attention to).

By this time the guy is probably thinking to himself that while only a few months ago a wet dreams was both unwelcome and messy, at some level it was also enjoyable in what seems to be an entirely new and fascinating way. Next, the guy starts to think that this could be even more interesting if instead of waking up AFTER ejaculation had already occurred why not see if it is possibly to wake up a minute or two prior to when ejaculation takes place. Who would know or care whether you were awake or asleep when this happens?

Once a guy gets that part of being a guy figured out and working, that same guy is only a short way away from identifying ways in which he can touch or play with himself at night in an effort to get his penis to grow, get hard, and then ejaculate while still lying in bed. Guys can try a lot of stuff at night under the covers and explore more heavily particularly the stuff that seems to work the best. Hopefully he won’t make too much noise or draw attention to himself when running the various experiments, and all of this requires a certain degree of privacy as in being alone.

Still, what I am observing here is a key element that every guy goes through growing up. Guys at this stage are somewhere in a place that is at once terrifying but at the same time truly marvelous. A world occupied also by male peers who are somehow also living in the same place containing a mixture of both terror and profound marvel at the wonderful sensations down there that can be easily coaxed out from a guy’s body once the experiments have been run.

At this point, the idea of somehow joining together with a sexual partner is still not an issue, except perhaps as a part of a disconnected fantasy going on as a guy dreams and masturbates. Mainly, a guy is still interested in finding ever more interesting methods of playing with his own body and doing solo sex.

And by this time, nearly every guy has discovered that a clothing item that fits snug in the groin can be helpful in aiding the process. And that erections and ejaculations can easily occur in situations where a sexual partner doesn’t exist. But, a guy at that age cannot simply go out and start purchasing items of clothing with the intent of using the items in order to masturbate. A guy has to be sneakier than that. Far sneakier.

Maybe what is needed are still items of clothing that appear to be just “normal” stuff for a guy to wear but can secretly be used when masturbating. Take, for example a package of tighty whiteys as a simple illustration. At night, slip on a pair of tighty whiteys UNDER the pajama bottoms. This strategy means fewer starchy stains on the pajama legs as the briefs will catch most of the semen, and the “soiled” briefs can just be tossed in with the rest of the laundry.

OK! OK! Now I am giving out ideas that I would have tried in order to surreptitiously masturbate myself as a 12- or 13-year old, looking back.

To be continued….

[sebbie]

Part LVI

So, guys begin their journeys into young adulthood facing a lot of complicated stuff. They are being bombarded with content from the media that communicates that adult-type male sexuality is almost exclusively about getting to the point in a relationship such that a guy can have sex with a partner. Yet, growing up, meeting someone, and somehow getting close enough to that person such that having a sexual relationship with the other human being is a long ways off, if possible at all.

I would suggest very strongly that many guys muddle through their adult lives without ever really fully resolving this puzzle. Some guys seem to have an easier time of it—these are the guys who for whatever reason have a lot of what I call “personal charm.” Some might say that personal charm is just another way of saying “sex appeal” or even being “good looking”. But sexual attraction between two people is far too complicated a part of being human to be able to conclude that this is all about the genetics of physical attractiveness. Part of this has to do with the physical, for both sexes (many women like to claim that in males the physical hardly matters at all, but of course that is not true either).

Real estate agents like to claim that “there is a buyer for every house!” Using that analogy one would also conclude that there is a sexual partner out there for every human being, no matter how much or how little personal charm or physical attractiveness a person has. But, of course, neither statement is entirely true.

If this were all simple, every guy would be happily married to a woman (no gay married men in perfect land for sure!) and each guy would be living with his wife and two kids in a 3-bedroom house with an 80 foot wide lot in the suburbs of some cookie cutter city, each place all but indistinguishable from all the others. He is happily living there with his stay-at-home wife and the almost obligatory 2.4 kids. This is an imaginary 1950s world where the big problems have all been solved and when the guy has sex and gets to ejaculate, it is always penis-vagina sex with his wife perhaps once each week.

The problem with all of this is it is not the real world, and if we were to admit it, this probably wasn’t the real world even back in the 1950s. All sorts of other stuff is going on, stuff that has always been (some might say, conveniently) hidden from view.

I love watching cable shows that deal with the science of space and time. These shows keep talking about an intriguing idea that says the universe is composed of stuff that we can easily see, because it emits light. But there is other stuff in the universe that we cannot see, because it emits no light, and worse, it seems to be able to pass right through the stuff we can see without in any way revealing itself. Weirdly, there may be more of this “dark matter” that we cannot see than the stuff we can see.

What does this idea have to do with the science of male sexuality? Well, for starters, any male post-puberty is likely going to be jacking off quite regularly, sexual partner or not. The urge to ejaculate in males is so powerful that it cannot be ignored. And, as a consequence, every guy is going to have to develop his own particular way of dealing with where he is in this respect.

For guys, the stuff you see in the movies and on line is largely focused on techniques for engaging a sexual partner. This is OK if you conveniently have a sexual partner. Remember the guy living in the 3-bedroom house in the suburbs with the wife and kids. The guy in the suburban home with his wife and kids is analogous to the stuff in the universe that we can all readily see.

But then there is this other place, the so-called “dark matter” of male sexuality that every guy needs to learn how to cope with and even enjoy. This entire subject remains a mystery for a lot of women in particular, because they were taught by their moms (who, in turn were taught by their moms) that for straight guys at least the female is the centerpiece of a guy’s sexual focus and pleasure. The mere thought of a guy enjoying his own body alone does not compute, except I guess in the context of believing that this is something only guys who lack access to a sexual partner might do as an inferior means of getting off when a guy is desperate for sex.

So, we have several things going on here. 1. Guys masturbate, alone, regularly, to the point that the average might be 50 solo-sex ejaculations for every single act of partner sex, but 2. Most guys try to keep this behavior deeply hidden from anyone else whether that someone else is a parent, sibling, peer classmate, a dorm roommate or the female you had the date with on Friday night—or even your wife or live-in girlfriend. In our society real intercourse is so valued that a guy dare not admit to doing anything else in order to arouse oneself and ejaculate. Growing up, a guy increasingly values a degree of privacy just for this purpose. Going to college with a male roommate makes the quest for privacy even more important. A logical question is “how is my male roommate going to navigate this?” but a guy almost never dares actually blurt out that question, for fear that a host of even more complicated questions could logically arise from that one.

Too, as a guy gets only a little older, the objective shifts from seeing how fast you can make it from flaccid penis to full scale hard-on to powerful ejaculation to an alternative mode in which the guy takes more time to get there while still remaining quite aroused. Every guy knows that the complete inability to delay orgasm via mind control only occurs rather late in the process, and learning how to delay orgasm while remaining for an extended period of time in a highly aroused state can be extraordinarily enjoyable to learn and do. This can be fun stuff!

What does all of this have to do with swim briefs, compression gear, tighty whiteys, jock straps etc? I’m sure you have all been wondering about that. Each of these items a guy might find useful if he is interested in maintaining himself for extended periods of time in a semi-aroused state. A snug-fitting garment of your choice may have a “nasty” but fascinating way of keeping a guy semi-focused on his own groin area and sexual organs and in the process create some fun and interesting sensations that are more than worth experiencing.

But since this all has nothing to do with sex with a partner, and further, admitting that a guy does this could suggest that you lack enough personal charm to even be able to find a sexual partner, you dare not admit to anyone what you are doing in your efforts. That means nothing can be revealed to your parents, siblings, peer classmates, or certainly not the girl you (sorta) like in school. And, most certainly, NOT to your college dorm roommate. Except, of course, last night your roommate may have observed that you pulled out a colored brief from your dresser drawer and got into what looked to him like a little swim brief and then pulled on a pair of long-legged sleeping pants just before you crawled into bed. Your roommate might have observed this but said nothing. You sleep well, while occasionally touching your body snug inside the swim brief “down there”. You suspect your roommate might be wondering why you dressed the way you did just to go to bed. You think to yourself that if you pull on a strap before putting on your sleeping pants he might find this even weirder.

Oh well. The next day you wake up refreshed and ready to tackle whatever the world throws at you! Early that morning the swim brief gets tossed in the laundry bag but the sleeping pants somehow are still clean. It is important to act nonchalant as if nothing at all has happened.

To be continued…