What to wear?

[sebbie]

I don't think that would make any difference, tho each guy is unique.

[sebbie]

Experiences a guy has at a very early age involving sexual feelings and sensations frequently stick in a guy’s brain like glue, even experiences that happen at a very early age.

Think back if you can remember how old you were when you first realized that there were body parts in your groin area that felt really good when they were touched, groped or fondled, and the circumstances under which you might have first taken note of this. About how old were you? What were the exact circumstances? Were you mainly surprised, pleased or apprehensive when you discovered this?

It is normal to be somewhat scared and apprehensive, even if the sensations are very pleasant. A lot of guys worry that they have “broken” something.

Do you recall at all what you were wearing when this happened to you? A snug-fitting item of clothing? Something else?

I assume that this happened to you well before the point in time when you had your first real orgasm. How old were you when that happened? Were you surprised, pleased or perhaps terrified? What were the circumstances when that happened? Were you alone? Were you wearing a clothing item that fitted close to the groin like a swimsuit?

For many guys the exact situation when your first orgasm happened is an unforgettable moment in time. Nowadays, most guys probably mature sexually (I love that term) and have their first real orgasm around age 11. Within a year or two, most guys have probably already mastered some of the finer points of jerking off in private, along with the wet dreams and all. These are learned techniques that evolve gradually. But, given the early sexual maturity, guys end up with more and more time where they are not likely to be seriously involved with a sexual partner. This, of course, presents a host of issues. Some high school students are having sex with a partner, but certainly fewer than brag about it for sure. And casual sex with a partner in high school presents a host of messy and complicated issues that go way beyond where a guy is, emotionally, financially and otherwise.

The solution? Why masturbation of course. These years are excellent ones in terms of learning about yourself and your body and what makes you happy sexually, without all the additional complications of having to deal with a partner, male or female. These are learned techniques and not something a guy is going to necessarily master all at once. Some of the methods are so enjoyable that a guy might bring what he has learned into young adulthood. Take Dylan and Josh, or even Bill and Joe, as examples here.

This sounds like a great solution. Male hormones keep bombarding a guy relentlessly, and keep drawing his attention back to his penis. Yet, masturbation is not exactly a topic of conversation for guys with their siblings, peer classmates or even parents. Best if this all be done surreptitiously and even under the cover of darkness, lest your parents (one level of concern), siblings (a second level of concern) or peer classmates (a third, and most important level of concern), put two and two together to figure out what you have been doing to yourself, where and when.

Continued, below
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[sebbie]

At some level this is all unfortunate. A guy may be learning to master a great method for jerking off alone that he really enjoys, but the focus cannot be solely on that given this huge requirement also to hide what he is doing. Still, hidden from others or not, this all does go on, and somehow guys manage to cope with all of the requirements that still allow him to breathe comfortably when with his peers and family members. Ahh, the difficulties of just growing up for a male!

Given the amount of time a guy has to practice, at least from age 12 to 18 and maybe well into college age, some of these solo jerk-off methods may get increasingly complex and ever more enjoyable, at least for the guy who dreamed them up. The classic coming-of-age movie often has a horny teen-age boy who ends up jerking off while reading a magazine containing photos of naked women, or even purloining a doctor’s manual that describes the sex act in minute detail. With the rise of the Internet and every kid has to have a computer, the idea of seeing and learning about sex by reading paper copy has become antiquated. Better to find what a guy needs to see on the Web.

So, by the time most guys reach young adulthood, they have uncovered a host of different ways to jerk off without having to be with a partner, and probably more than a few ways that they are really fond of. Whether or not some of these methods involve snug-fitting items of clothing and how common that is among boys in general is an interesting question that does not have any solid research to clarify. Sex researchers seem to commonly not know the questions to ask, and responses would get into stuff that guys normally want to keep deeply hidden for a bunch of different reasons.

However, once a really fun jerk-off method is developed, a guy is likely going to be very reluctant to discard that even after he gets into a relationship with a partner. This can get to be an issue even when a guy is getting a little older but not in a relationship. Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh are still just male college buddies, and not sexual partners in any way. Yet at this point each of them pretty much knows what the others are up to and why they are doing what they are doing. Where this all goes from here is unclear. If they were pairing off in gay relationships, the outcome might become more nearly clear. Most gay males probably at some level are comfortable with the whole idea of sharing favorite jerk-off methods with their partners and assume that, at minimum, the partner will enjoy at least watching the fun if not being actively engaged himself in one way or another. Finding a compatible male partner might very well entail finding another male who shares interests and enjoys the exact same thing or similar. If I love to get off while wearing a skimpy swim brief, a compatible partner might be a guy who not only likes to watch me do that, but also enjoys doing the same thing as I watch him play with himself inside the brief. As sex in male-male partner relationships go, this is really tame stuff.

But, now assume I am a straight male, a male who also learned to love to get off in a skimpy swim brief. Just because I have gotten into a relationship with a female doesn’t mean that I can or should abruptly abandon a favorite jerk-off method employing a skimpy swim brief. What is fun sexually is fun, relationship with a female or not. But the question then becomes how to deal with my wonderful jerk-off method within a relationship involving a female.

For starters, females are generally educated (by their moms) that the female is the central source of sexual pleasure for the guy, and anything else he might be doing to pleasure himself that does not include her is irrelevant to the relationship. Anything sexually occurs that does not put the female in the center of the male action is clearly bad and wrong, and further, the female is somehow not fulfilling her obligations to her male partner.

The problem, of course is the guy still loves his solo-sex methods and techniques, and the most daring guys try to keep them going inside the relationship with a woman. Then the woman discovers that the guy is still masturbating and she comes completely unglued. Divorce occurs shortly. A lot of guys decide to stay out of marriage in part because they are fearful that this is exactly how this would likely all go down. Even in marriage, many guys still need their private (solo sex) space though far fewer dare openly admit that.

Where is this whole story headed from here? I’ll be doggoned if I know. There are several possible paths. Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh could open up some more about exactly what they have been up to and why it works. They could pair off two by two as male partners. Or, they could decide that they are each straight and start dating college-age women. Or they could get involved in a more open male foursome, traditionally called a circle jerk. But if they do that, they are going to have to openly admit to each other at least that they are each not as straight as we were initially led to believe. Figuring this all out is part of the fun.

We know that each of them is really having fun wearing the various clothing items and getting horny while wearing them. Each of them has been developing their skills at remaining aroused for long periods of time without quite blowing. This theme overlays the entire story line in all the chapters. I do know it would be fun to hang with Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh just to see how they each find a path and come up with ways to cope with all of the crazy sexual tension going on right now.


To be continued, I think…

[sebbie]

Once many guys reach young adulthood, they begin to believe that enjoying your own male body and being in a relationship with a “loving partner” are as inseparable as, say macaroni and cheese or even ham and eggs. That leads guys who are not so fortunate into bouts of psychological depression in thinking that there are other guys who, because they are in a loving relationship, are simply enjoying life (not to mention their own sexual bodies) to a far greater degree.

Of course relationships in human sexuality matter. Were that not the case, the human race would have gone extinct long ago. But if there is any recurring theme to these chapters, it is that there is a lot more to male sexuality and human sexuality than only that, and it is possible to find safe and enjoyable sexual outlets that involve no personal risks or the complexity of working things out on a steady basis with a steady-and-willing partner.

If you stop and think about what I said, it is quite profound. What I just said is that a guy can be happy and sexually fulfilled even without having sex regularly with a willing partner. Straight, gay or of undetermined sexual orientation, that matters not at all in the interpretation of this statement.

I have been known to study, porn sites, but always only for research purposes.:-) One of the things I have been looking at is the popularity of various kinds of pornography. The classic heterosexual porn site has a lot of videos showing a male and a female getting it on. The classic gay porno site shows either two guys getting it on, or two women commonly masturbating each other using their fingers, or, less commonly, a strap-on dildo. I have always been somewhat amazed by how popular the two-women masturbation porn seems to be with heterosexual male porn viewers. I conclude that a lot of otherwise straight males find that watching this to be quite arousing.

These classic porn videos are only the starting point for an array of other videos of all sorts. Another common one is the so-called two-on-one videos that most commonly involve two women working over one guy, another heterosexual male fantasy, apparently. The opposite--two guys with one woman, is far less common.

Solo sex, as in a guy bringing himself to orgasm without the help of a partner, exist in large numbers as well. Some of these videos involve guys doing this naked, but the more interesting videos more commonly have a guy doing this while wearing a skimpy swim brief or slick-looking pair of brief style underwear. There is an audience for this type of porn. An interesting question of course, is whether the audience for this consists largely of gay males, straight males, perhaps curious women, or some mix of the three groups.

I hope you can see where I am going with all of this. I think that there is almost a universal curiosity on the part of males with respect to how other males cope with sexual feelings, arousal, and the path to ejaculation. This is not a straight or gay issue as such. This curiosity begins at puberty, or even before, and it extends into adulthood, perhaps through adulthood. Guys figure out what feels good at a very early age, and are curious as to whether other guys have discovered something similar, and if so, how they cope. As I have indicated earlier, this sexual tension of sorts is the fodder for most coming-of-age movies where horny guys typically try to act on what they have learned. But oddly enough, a scene involving solo masturbation, even a scene in which the guy is wearing a swim brief as this is happening, is still considered too rough to be presented in an R-rated movie for a mass audience. Despite R-rated movies showing practically everything that goes on between couples sexually, male masturbation rarely occurs in non-porn movies, and if it does, everything is usually implied (say, showing the face but not the body of the masturbator) and not presented with any detail.

So, solo sex is treated as if it is raunchier than most forms of partner sex. There is something really bad, unacceptable or dirty about male masturbation that goes beyond the raunchiness or regular sexual intercourse.

The reality of being a guy is quite the opposite. Partner sex carries all the real risks associated with being a sexual human being: Solo sex generally is a perfectly safe and readily available alternative.

Even more complicated is the situation for the guy who has discovered that he greatly enjoys getting aroused by and then getting off while wearing, say ,a swim brief or a skimpy jock strap, with or without a cup. The sex researchers have already labeled this poor guy as a person who is on the abnormal side of sexual psychology, and stuck with a fetish, as in a sexual attraction to an inanimate object. Never mind that the garment helps him get to some of the best orgasms he has ever experienced. The sex researchers like to simply ignore that, as they are fixated on the idea that partner sex is the only true way to sexual happiness for a guy.

But keep in mind that for a long time, these same sex researchers thought penis and vagina was the only real sex, and that whatever gay males did either with or to each other was somehow abnormal too. The thinking on that subject has changed a lot, and gays are no longer treated as if they were part of the chapter on abnormal sexual psychology.

Will male masturbation ever be treated by sex researchers as more than only a substitute sexual release that is important to guys early in life and perhaps late in life, when a real partner for sex is no longer available, but an inferior sexual release used primarily by the socially-challenged and otherwise unfortunate at all other points during a lifetime.

An even more complicated question is whether or not the use of a garment as a way to drastically improve the quality of male masturbation such as a swim brief or jock strap will ever get a billing that no longer places this in the category of just another abnormal or oddball male fetish. I confess that I love to watch how other guys respond to a situation in which their body parts are contained in a garment that simply provides little if any room to expand should the need for more room manifest itself. This, I think is a natural curiosity on the part of most males extending from puberty onward, and not something only guys who believe themselves to be gay are interested in observing and doing.

When Dylan watches Josh masturbate himself in that tiny little Desmiit® thong, Dylan is drawn into not repulsed by what he is seeing. And for Josh, having Dylan there watching him adds a new psychosexual element to the total experience for Josh, something that he might have daydreamed about, but could never actually try earlier in life. This moves to yet another level as the four guys engage in various gym workout activities while being clad in various items of snug-fitting clothing. All of them should be now reentering their dorm rooms after the workout experience, really ready to blow in what turned out to be a sexually tense series of moments at the gym as has ever occurred in each of their young lives.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

What exactly is it about a skimpy Lycra® blend swimming brief, anyway, that makes guys so interested in them and yet so apprehensive about wearing one, at least for a lot of guys?

That is an interesting question, and a question that in all this time has not been adequately studied. Videos aimed primarily at a gay male audience frequently feature two guys, both clad in skimpy swim briefs, and doing various things to each other. Sometimes the actors begin with more clothes on over the swimming briefs, but they soon strip down to just the briefs, and a lot of the action sequences in the videos occurs with the briefs still in place.

I have noticed something. Almost invariably, the penises of the guys in the videos, tho fully covered by the briefs, almost invariably put in the “up” position.

As any swim-brief wearer knows, finding a place for your penis to comfortably be is one of the more interesting aspects of wearing a swim brief. Bluntly put, some guys are bigger than other guys flaccid, and the big guys are going to probably have more difficulty with this than the smaller guys will have.

There are three basic positions, down, to the side (R or L) and up. Down, if you can fit, is by far the most conservative, least attention grabbing position, if you are small enough so that the position does not cause you undue discomfort. And remember, swim briefs are intended for swimming and perhaps other athletic endeavors, so a guy needs to have a freedom of movement without discomfort, and that is much easier for the little guys

The second option is to one side or the other, and that works for some of the bigger guys who find the down position uncomfortable. The problem with this position is that it makes a guy look lopsided and bigger on one side or another. And even a slightly erect penis sideways is quite noticeable, tho you see guys positioned this way in photos such as swim team pictures.

That lease up as the swim brief penis position of choice for most guys wearing swim briefs. That gives the guy a good-looking bulge in the groin area, as seen in the Superman or Batman movies. Some guys think this is a cool look: for others, that is where the apprehension starts.

If a guy positions his penis upward in a swim brief, he needs to be at least a little erect to pull off “the look”. But the more interesting aspect of this is that the position places the sensitive underside of the penis outward against the slick Lycra nylon pouch. Anyone looking closely at the swimmer will be able to see the sensitive underside of the swimmer’s penis pressed against the fabric, and probably be able to also make out at least an outline of the guy’s sensitive glans area just beneath the not-very-thick fabric.

This is the part where many guys start to get really apprehensive. Guys reach puberty at age 11 or 12. By age 13 they have likely determined that not all parts of the male penis are equally sensitive when touched or rubbed. Guys quickly learn that the entire underside of the penis produces more interesting and powerful sensations than the top side. And that glans area is a real “hot spot” that if touched or rubbed will send a guy into an orgasm perhaps within seconds. Such is the workings of the male anatomy.

The sites that store photos for use by the public generally have issues in dealing with this. Generally, a photo of a guy clad in a swim brief would not be labeled pornographic. Some photos of a guy wearing a swim brief in which it is obvious that the guy’s penis is there and pointing upward would not be deemed pornographic either. And, as I have indicated, if a guy is pointed up he usually has at least a bit of a hard-on going on.

But for the photo site, where do you draw the line between a swim brief clad guy that is OK for general viewing versus pornographic. Obviously if the swim brief clad guy has a major upward pointing hard-on that photo get treated as pornographic even if the guy’s erection is fully covered. But what about partial but fully covered erections? There is no hard and firm (no pun intended) rule here, and what is called pornographic depends on someone at the photo site calling it that or not.

Still, if on-line photos are any indication ranging from simple swimmer and swim team photos all the way to the porn videos, the up position is by far the most popular way to go. Never mind that this is part of the reason for all the fear and apprehension among new swim-brief wearers. They are troubled by the entire thought of exposing the sensitive underside and super sensitive glans area to the rest of the world in this manner, even if fully covered. Yet at another level they see other guys doing this and somehow managing. I guess if I were a young swimmer trying this for the first time I would be somewhat nervous too. What if wearing my brief with my penis in that position leads me to get more of a hard on, perhaps things escalate and I blow off with the tip of my penis in that position, creating a wet sticky mess for everyone else to see. That is the apprehension or sheer terror about the whole idea of wearing a swim brief in public. Better to put the brief on for the first time at home, in your bedroom, door locked and looking at yourself in front of a mirror.

But, back to Dylan and Josh. When I last left Dylan and Josh, they were walking home from the gym after a workout, Dylan clad in a skimpy swim brief with compression shorts and a tee over: Josh in a skimpy pair of thong underwear with a tight-and snug forest green wrestling singlet over, the one josh ad borrowed from Dylan just for the occasion. By now, my readers must realize that Josh and Dylan have been feeling quite horny, and have been ever since they started this trip to the gym. Guys their age may not go off, but are leaking pre cum on a steady basis.

One of the interesting aspects of the porn videos featuring two guys in swim briefs is in seeing what stuff two guys can and do to themselves and each other clad this way, semi-hard, penis up inside the brief. Every guy knows that being in this situation even without anything happening from the outside can prove quite arousing. I suppose it would be the politically correct thing to say is that only a gay guy would be interested in seeing another guy in this condition. But, I think the interest of other guys in observing this and “enjoying” what they are observing is all but universal. In other word, this fascination with how other guys wear swim brief and how they position their penis within the pouch is a near universal male curiosity, in part because every guy somehow knows that the guy who is being observed has to be at some level “enjoying” the situation he is in and that is a universal curiosity.

But how far does this go. Are guys who like to look at and study other guys in such a situation straight or gay? Is ANY interest in such a situation strictly a gay thing or not.

The porn videos can be instructive here. First we see two, apparently well acquainted guys just touching each other on parts of the body not considered to be particularly sexual. But they soon work their way to each other’s penis up bulges and start touching and fondling that area briefs till on. Each emits low growls of sexual pleasure (you know how great that area of the penis feels when rubbed through the brief. After that, what happens varies. In some videos, a guy brings out a small electric vibrator, and the two guys end up swiping the underside of each other’s penises with the head of the vibrator. This, of course, feels great, and the two guys groan in a combination of pleasure and sexual agony.

So, Dylan and Josh are now back from the gym and in their private dorm room. Dylan has stripped off his compression gear and is now down to his swim brief, penis somewhat hard still and pointing up. Josh is now out of his forest green wrestling singlet, though that was a bit more of a struggle, given how wrestling singlets are made. Keep in mind that both Dylan and Josh have been feeling quite horny all afternoon. Because of this, they are both getting increasingly desperate to get off, and they both know that because of all of this they are each likely to bow with a most intense orgasm once it finally does happen.

The safest and most acceptable way for each of them to do this is to somehow find private space to get off, a strategy they might have used in their younger years. But here they are, both horny as all get out and both stuck together in the little dorm room. Dylan has to be enjoying seeing Josh stuck in this predicament. Josh the same with Dylan. Both of them know exactly what is going on, or at least so they think.

So what now? Hosh and Dylan could each engage themselves in solo masturbation. The pressure of the thong pushing up on his perineum with the thong back pressing between his glutes is, quite frankly at the point where it is driving Josh bananas in a sexual sensations way. Josh’s engouged penis is positioned upwards as well inside the thong pouch and the emlargement keeps putting more and pore pressure both on the sensitive and sexually active perineum area and between the glutes.

Dylan is faring hardly better in his little swim brief, the slick material rubbing nicely across the most sensitive parts of the penis.

At this point, in the gay porn videos, each guy would attempt to extend a hand or finger to help the other guy out in his current predicament. That means not only pleasuring yourself, but fondling the other guy’s erect and sensitive penis in ways he might not expect.

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Continues below

[sebbie]

But, Josh and Dylan have always regarded themselves as “perfectly straight” and interested only in women in a sexual way. Does “extending a helpful hand” in a situation like this somehow “cross the line” making Dylan and Josh gay or perhaps bisexual and not as straight as they once thought they were. And what would other guys in this situation do? Don’t situations like this occur regularly in twin dorm rooms occupied by males at colleges and universities all around the country? And what of college males who know that they are gay? Is there a rule somewhere that says that two gay guys, out or not, cannot room together in a twin room in a college dorm?

All of this is confusing, at best, even if it is a wonderful part of being a guy.

To be continued…

[sebbie]

I have been thinking a lot about Dylan and Josh’s dilemma and the options that are available to them. That got me to thinking about my own college days, and rooming in a single-sex all male dorm. I had the opportunity to move into a then brand new high rise building at the start of my third year in college. The interesting thing about this dorm is that most of the rooms were set up as doubles, but there were a few single rooms available, nine total to be exact. So, if a guy wanted a single room, he had to move quickly on the day the rooms were assigned.

Even then I was always thinking about the issues involved in pairing up with a male roommate and whether that was going to interfere with my ability to engage in a most favored activity, solo masturbation. A private room would solve a lot of problems and potential issues in this regard.

The dorm setup was in the new suite-type style, A suite consisted of two double rooms, and a hallway containing sinks, a toilet with a door on it, and a walk in shower. These facilities were shared by the four guys in the two rooms. This setup was quite different from the old-style dorm setup where the bathroom was way down an open hall a long way from many of the individual rooms. A marked improvement from the old setup, I thought.

Most of the suits had two rooms each with 2 beds and two occupants, but nine of the suites had a 3rd room that was only big enough for one occupant. That is where I wanted to see. I would share the common facilities with my suitemates and deal with them as roommates otherwise when I wanted, or not. If I felt like masturbating (which happened regularly) that was simple: I would just close the door to my room and jerk off to my hearts content. I picked out the single on the 9th, top floor, and I was lucky enough to get it. Never mind that this posed an issue when the fire alarm went off and I would have to go 9 floors down the stairs. That was but a minor issue given the private (masturbation) space the single gave me.
.
So, here is the picture. I’m the single, a nerdy, scholarly guy (me) who seemed mainly about studying and getting good grades. Then there were four other guys: Bruce and Brian, brothers in one of the twin rooms, and Cedric and his roommate in the other. Cedric’s roommate was one of these guys who spent almost no time in the dorm room. I saw him so seldom that I do not even remember his name. Mainly he used his closet in the dorm room to store booze of various kinds, surreptitiously. Now keeping a stash of alcoholic beverages in your dorm room was strictly against University and University run dorm rules. After all most of the guys were under 21 and could not drink legally. But that didn’t stop a lot of guys, and there was a crackdown only if things were starting to get out of hand, say complaints from your roommate.
So, Cedric had nearly a single room because his roommate was seldom around.

Bruce and Brian were brothers. Bruce was a serious student and starting out a path that would get him a professional degree. Bruce warned us that his brother Brian was a bit weird in a lot of different ways. Brian seemed to be the kind of guy who probably got into trouble with his teachers in high school on many occasions. He was constantly thinking up stunts that, while not in any way were mean toward the rest of us, but still more than a little weird and funny. Generally he seemed able to avoid conflicts with the laws, and if he had an arrest record at all, it was not for any serious offenses. He was rather outgoing, however. Whenever a guy came back from a date his favorite question would be “does she suck?” This was funny but only for the first few times.

Now Cedric played varsity football. This was a big deal at school in part because the team vas very highly regarded and seldom lost a game. But Cedric was only a freshman, so he wasn’t that far along football wise.

Somehow Cedric and Bryan liked each other very much and became good friends. I think to a degree Cedric was fascinated by Bryans ability to get by saying and doing things that might press the envelope just a bit and cause others to say “what is with this guy, anyway?”

One day I wondered home from class, and surely something weird is happening. Cedric and Bryan were both lying crosswise on Cedric beds, backs to their butts flat on the mattress, both with their legs completely propped up against the wall next to the bed in an “L” shape.

Both of them were clad only in a pair of cotton briefs, and maybe a tee. My first reaction was what were these two guys doing dressed this way and propped up this way? But it didn’t take me long to determining that they were together engaging in masturbation. Both of them were playing with their penises hanging downward from the upward position that their legs were in. They would stroke their own penises for a minute or two and then each of them would reach over and stroke the other guy’s penis. So this was something of a mutual masturbation. The room door was wide open and Bruce was there watching all of this, seemingly not the least bit repulsed by what was happening, but fascinated by the dumb stuff his brother got into doing. Bruce invited me right in to watch the proceeds underway. Cedric and Bryan seemed not the least bit unhappy to have a suite mate audience. In fact, having the audience of two more guys just watching them do this to themselves and each other seemed to turn them on even more.

They did this at least a couple more times that year that I was aware of. Maybe they did this as a pair more often than I knew. I have never quite determined why they seemed to favor what seemed to me to be such an oddball masturbation method. Of course, given that I had a convenient and private room, I tried the method of propping myself up the same way and then playing with myself, but I never quite saw what made the method so attractive or fun. The nerdy scholar had other, more erotic and interesting schemes in mind. Were both Bryan and Cedric gay or bisexual? That has always been an interesting question. Brian appears to now have a wife (a female). I‘m not sure what happened to Cedric.

To be continued….