Thoughts on just being a guy

[sebbie]

Masturbation, Edging, and Snug-Fitting Clothing

YouTube has lots of videos with Masturbation in the title, and many of these focus on male masturbation. For those who still think that masturbation is a second- or third-rate sexual activity, quickly discarded once a guy reaches adulthood, a number of these videos go in a completely different direction. Generally, the videos start by pointing out that solo masturbation is by far the most common for males ages 12 -15, but that is not a new observation at all.

Instead, what some videos argue is that the average partner sex act in adulthood runs for only about 5 minutes. Both men and women would like for the sex act to last far longer, but so long as the guy believes that in order to prove he is a “real man” he must have an orgasm within 5 minutes of engaging in partner sex this will not happen. To believe that speedy sex is good sex is silly.

One of the arguments is that this short period from initial arousal to ejaculation is in part a product of what guys learn shortly after puberty. In particular, many guys quickly learn to bring on ejaculation quickly because of the “dirty” reputation masturbation has. No matter what, the young teen needs to make certain no one catches him doing the unthinkable, not parents, siblings, peers or anyone else. What the guy leans about masturbating to orgasm quickly at this age adversely affects a guy’s sex life throughout his entire adulthood. The idea of masturbating quickly to orgasm is a “learned” behavior. Unlearning this takes both time and a commitment to the idea that going in for a quick ejaculation is not a sign of one’s virility as a man. Indeed, the opposite.

In many ways I consider myself one of the extremely lucky ones, living alone without a sexual partner for my entire adult life. This must sound crazy to guys who are happy in their sexual relationships. The beauty of this is that I can always find the time and the luxury to do exactly what I want—with, to and by myself without any fear that my activities are going to be discovered and I will be embarrassed. This is a huge blessing, a luxury of sorts. In the process, I have developed expertise for edging by proceeding at a long, slow, and deliberate pace.

When I think about that others might feel sorry for me living life without a sexual partner I only laugh, If partner sex is so unbelievably wonderful, why is it that so many of my friends got divorces and then struggled to find a path for dealing with the fact that they were alone, sexually? If sex with a partner is so mind-blowing, why did you let it go? What gives here?

I suppose that every case is different. Me, I’m into edging. I get into a horny mood and then spend long periods of time just enjoying being aroused. This is a big part of the stuff guys do not learn to do as young teens—just kicking back and maintaining oneself at a high degree of arousal for prolonged periods of time. After all, real guys ejaculate within 5 minutes of first thinking about it, and anything longer means the guy is not that virile. Sex is really a contest of speed. If speed at a stop sign is needed to prove a guy’s worth, then why should this not also be true for sex and orgasms?

But a fast orgasm is actually a bad not good thing: this is where the term “premature ejaculation” is coined. Women generally like a slow, deliberate guy and not a speed demon.

I watched a YouTube video that had one guy in a black Speedo® who decided to go to a beach where all the other guys were wearing board shorts. A lot of people stared at him, but a few seemed to admire his suit and body. This guy was actually engaging in a form of edging. He was there because he got turned on just thinking of all the women (and more than a few guys) who were admiring his butt and pouch. Wandering around in a Speedo® in public is one way of sustaining arousal (not the same as an erection) for long periods of time!

Early on, as a young teen, I learned that the least complicated way to get aroused, have an erection, and maybe even an orgasm, was to do so at night under the cover of darkness and the cover of bedclothes. I think most guys learned this method too. In adulthood, I learned some methods for making undercover masturbation still more enjoyable, generally by wearing tight-fitting, perhaps only a Speedo®, or maybe a strap or thong. The quantity of Cowpers’ gland secretions are a key measure of how successful this strategy is. A close relationship exists between the amount of the clear viscous fluid is secreted and how horny I feel. This is a basic measuring stick for judging the quality of a long-run edging session lasting perhaps the entire night.

However, in the cold winter months I like to layer other clothing over what I wear in the summer. In other posts, I have pointed out the merits of Ikingsky thongs and DEVOPS thermal compression wear. The Ikingsky thongs are famous because they are really skimpy. But they also have a nice pouch (perfect for collecting Cowpers secretions aka precum over an entire night of edging). Plus, they put a nice but subtle pressure on that all important perineum area just behind the scrotum. Finally, there is that neat and really narrow thong back cutting between my glutes. In short, the perfect base garment for a night of edging.

The DEVOPS thermal running tights and long-sleeved shirts are the cover garments. These fit, well really tight, and I undersized the pants from a MED to a SM. The pants go over the thong, and I am already feeling very good. Coping with this for an entire night is a basic course in edging technique, a course most guys who have sexual partners likely missed. My period of arousal is not 5 minutes, or even 20 minutes, but at least 8 hours.

I fall asleep quickly. But I will wake up often at about 3 AM and check to see how my night is going. Oddly, I am still feeling way horny, and I can tell precum has been accumulating ever since I drifted off. There are gobs of the desirable clear viscous fluid inside the thong pouch. And the thong perineum pressure, subtle at first, seems to have grown more pronounced by 3 AM.

Soon I fall back asleep again, awaking at 6 AM, with the thong pouch containing still more precum. But I have not had an orgasm, so I am still feeling way horny. Now its 9 AM, and I still am feeling great in an erotic way. I have swapped for another thong and compression gear, leaving the DEVOPS for nighttime wear.

This is all terrific, not-to-be-missed fun, the essence of what makes me so happy to be a guy. If you want to learn edging technique with the idea of improving a relationship with a partner, this is great training for your mind and body as well. As I always say, Have fun! It is great just being a guy.

[sebbie]

Pointing Upward

for those of you new to the whole idea of enjoying your body while wearing snug-fitting clothing containing a lot of Lycra, I got to thinking about some ideas that might be helpful to you.

First off, there are many different types and styles of clothing that work. This Web Site focuses on swim briefs, but also includes topics related to other types of clothing, the only common denominator being the slick, Lycra based fabric and the invariably snug fit.

However, those two key elements are embodied in a lot of different types and styles of readily available clothing that work. Here is a partial list:

Swim briefs
Swim thongs
Squarecut swimwear made of stretchy snug fitting fabricate
Swim jammers with longer legs
Athletic supporters made of a stretchy fabric that have twin leg straps but no center strap in the rear.
Underwear made of a stretch fabric, briefs, thongs, squarecuts, longer legged underwaear with a similar fabric etc
Running tights and similar
One-piece singlets most commonly worn in wrestling contests
etc etc.

This is a lot of stuff, and over my lifetime I have collected good examples of all of these.

There are two things all these items share. First, they are all made of a slick, stretchy fabric, and second, All of them fit very snug in the groin area, snug enough so that when a guy positions his penis getting in, the penis stays in that position.

A lot of guys might be apprehensive about wearing any of these on account of the unwanted erection phenomenon. As in fear of what could happen if I get an erection and others (peers, classmates, etc see that I have one, and fear that the worst could happen, the erection quickly results in a full scale and obvious orgasm and ejaculation. These fears apparently keep lots of budding male swimmers and wrestlers from taking up the sport. At least I have heard that.

Still, lots of these snug-fitting stretchy garments are sold to males all the time. Not every male is consumed by his fear and apparently found a way to overcome it. Conquering one’s fears is a way of coping. It turns out, conquering one’s fears can only be accomplished by meeting fears head on. And the most challenging and also the most enjoyable way of doing this is to pick one of these garments—it does not make a lot of difference which one—lately I have been enjoying my running tights, and put yourself in a position whereby you could have an orgasm quite easily. Face your deepest fears directly!

What position is that? Why upward of course. You know the position where nearly all of the underside of your penis is pressing firmly against the slick, snug stretchy fabric. OK, so you are starting to feel horny just thinking about being in this situation. What garment from your list, particularly? Pick whatever one you think will be “difficult” to deal with. By now you should already have a nice semi just thinking about what you are about to attempt.

The entire underside of your penis is just a super neat place. Its a lot more sensitive to touch than the top side. If your erection gets bigger just thinking about this that is a good thing not a bad thing. That is what is supposed to happen. Besides, assuming you are average size or more, erect, if you have selected and sized the garment correctly, by now your penis should be screaming at you telling you that it really likes where it is at and what is happening to it.

But from the standpoint of completing your training, it is probably best not to go into a full-blown ejaculation immediately. The garment becomes part of your edging work in which you attempt to sustain the good sensations from your penis for a longer period of time. All you need to do is touch yourself and stroke the underside of you penis for a short period of time. But from the perspective of your training, you will want to delay the orgasm part as long as you can. Still, this is great fun with any of the garments on my list above, and one of the greatest “treats” all “free” for just being a guy with a penis. And a treat that is available to every guy.

The fact that you have somehow learned how to sustain yourself erect in this situation can prove useful in a variety of ways, not only alone but perhaps in the presence of another enthusiastic male. Rumor has it that even some females get turned on by being able to observe first hand and up close the “situation” the guy is dealing with here, and the best females actually purchase garments for the guy that seem to work. It goes without saying that guys who are into other guys would enjoy watching the “predicament” evolve and might also want to participate. My point is the opportunity exists for all guys, single and partnered regardless of whether the partner is male or female.

Once you have an erection pressing firmly against the cloth of the garment there are other things you can do as well..like digging out a vibrator and seeing how the head of the vibrator feels when the underside of your penis is pressed against the fabric. Fascinating stuff. If you do this right, you should be climbing the walls, psychologically and physically.

[sebbie]

A Fruit of the Loom Strap?

Scrounging around, I found one of the earliest straps that I ever purchased, perhaps the earliest one of all. I have been comparing the appearance and features of this strap with others I have. I also have been looking at the very faded tag in an attempt to determine the brand. There is a tag with three faded colors, maybe four, green, red and purple with a possible gold on the left side.

In sorting through images on the Internet the only logo that would fit would be Fruit of the Loom, and the logo that fits dates either from the 60s or from 1970-78. I think I purchased this strap in the mid 1970s when I was off in college in another state. I had always wanted to have a strap of my own but I was off on my own now and no one I knew to question why I owned a strap despite the fact that I was a non athlete who did not “need” one. Part of the “fun” actually was the secrecy of what I was doing to and by myself. And the FOTL strap was “forbidden fruit”. This was going to make for some fun experiments in male “self abuse”.

Currently the strap is in not terrible condition considering the “life” it led as a long-time “partner” of mine. This was not a Bike strap, it was a strap that would have been sold at a discount house not an athletic clothing place as such. I am guessing that I found my strap on a display at K mart next to other sporting goods items big and small on a wall in that particular section of the store. Not very expensive, maybe under $2. Just think the amount of fun I would have for that little money.

In comparing this strap to my newer straps, there are some things that are the same but a lot that is different too. The pouch is made of that goofy ribbed rubberized cloth at is never used in other types of clothing. Unlike a pouch made with Spandex, it still is in pretty good condition after maybe 50 years. The rubberized pouch holds up a lot better over time whereas one made with Lycra/Spandex would deteriorate and lose its “snap”.

The waistband is two inches wide not three inches wide. The elastic in that has held up well too, and there is another narrow ¼ inch wide strip of elastic sewn to the top of the pouch which in turn is sewn to the waistband using a zig zag stitch. The sewing and all the elastic is in good condition too.

Inside, on the waistband to the right of the pouch is a little elastic hanger loop as if FOTL expected guys to rinse out their straps after the game and then hang them to dry from this loop in a locker to dry until the next practice. I don’t know if anyone ever did that but I guess that was the intended purpose of the hanger loop.

Then there wwere the leg straps, once again bands of elastic about 3/8 ths inch wide that attach at the waistband an inch or so to the left and right of the pouch. These are all twisted but again the elastic is in very good shape given the age.

Of course, these elastic straps have to attach to the pouch at the base of the pouch, and there is quite a knot of material and stitching where they do. For someone into perineum stimulation this is quite a big deal, But back in the 70s I knew nothing about that. Still, looking at how this strap was made, I now better understand what was going on when I put on this strap--both in my brain and in my groin.

Oh, and did I mention that this strap still fits me, but the fit is really really tight. No doubt, when I made my purchase, I selected one in a smaller size. However, these straps were made in such a way that it is difficult to see how any guy could wear one without getting at least somewhat stimulated down there. Teen male athletes used to “play” with their peers in this regard by grabbing the back of a friend’s waistband on the strap and “snapping” his strap. Any guy who was already even a little aroused from just wearing the strap would quickly discover some sensitivities down there he did not realize he had let alone appreciate. Generically, this game is sometimes referred to as “horseplay” by young males, and of course horseplay is a lot more fun if the guys are all wearing straps in the locker room.

Did I mention that I can still wear the strap and diagnose what happens to me once I am in? Yesterday I put on a pair of thong underwear and pulled this strap on over. I have never quite figured out why for a long time it was something of a male “rite of passage” to be in locker rooms completely butt-naked while wearing a strap, but that was how it was. Being butt naked although strapped did not protect any athlete from a groin injury, but then the pouch without a cup merely managed to hold the genitalia in one place and not flopping around. Still, that was part of being an athlete—as an athlete you were required to be strapped! (and maybe cupped as well but that varied by sport).

I spent the entire day in the strap and thong. The neat part about this is that the thong wants to push my important body parts upward and forward even as the snug-fitting pouch wants to add a downward force and pressure. Combine that with the perineum pressure from both the knot on the thong where the back attaches to the thong pouch and the leg straps attach to the strap pouch, and you have a simple recipe for some really interesting sensations.

This strap long was and is great fun. I learned a lot of stuff about me and my body by engaging in this sort of strap play. Every guy who has worn an old-school strap like this probably can relate to what I am saying, and I am happy to share ideas as to what must be going on and why.