Speedo Shame Origin

[Dooley67]

I've been wearing brief suits since I was a late teenager in NY, Brooklyn specifically, where either speedo type suits or square cuts were very common for guys, so it was never an issue. When I came to Maine for graduate school at the age of 21, I continued wearing speedos and never had an issue with it.

The only time I stopped wearing speedos for about a year was when I had gained 15 unwanted pounds and I didn't like the way I looked in a brief suit. I didn't like the way I looked in a fitted dress shirt either. You see, it was my choice and my decision. Since losing the weight and becoming a serious swimmer, I returned to wearing speedos, the narrower the better - my limit is 1.5" for my own sense of what looks decent. For me it was how I felt I looked, not how others' thought I looked or what others' think of me because I wear speedos. I've worn speedos in beaches in the US and in other countries being sensitive to the customs of the countries other than the U.S. I wear them because that's my swimsuit of choice.

My point in writing all of this is that you need to do what is acceptable to you (within the framework of decency), not what you think is acceptable to others. I agree with STS that the perceived speedo stigma may be made to be more than it actually is. While we could attach all sorts of psychological meanings to the phenomenon, it may very well be like what Freud said, "a cigar is sometimes just a cigar."

Valorian 2, you may take some heat from your family, but if you have evolved into a more self confident person in certain ways, one of which is as one who feels comfortable wearing a speedo, then let your family know that's who you are at this point in your life. And don't apologize or feel the need to justify your decision to be who you are. It may be tough at first, but they'll eventually adjust and, realistically, they will have to if they want you to continue coming to family events. Be who you are. Good luck.

D67

[Bede735]

Originally Posted by Dooley67

My point in writing all of this is that you need to do what is acceptable to you (within the framework of decency), not what you think is acceptable to others.
D67

It must be so. If you buy any new clothes you're the one who tries it on, looks in the mirror at yourself, and makes the judgment that it's fine. You're not going to walk around the store asking for other people's opinion. It's exactly the same for swimwear. If you're okay with it, then other people's opinions are irrelevant. Well apart from ones, say, who are in charge of the public pool, who decide if you're wearing acceptable swimwear. Fortunately there is a wide tolerance in what that is.

[tightjeans]

Ok all good replies. Please don't overlook the negative perception of the public in this country of the conduct at the various gay rights parades and functions. I know a number of gays over the years who are repelled by it as well.

[SwimTeamSpeedo]

I think Tightjeans makes a great point. There is a time and a place for everything. Wearing suits inappropriate for public display in a public setting, gay or str8, ruins it for everyone.

[Blue Nike]

I equate the jubilant celebration you see at gay pride parades with the same outlandish, joyful, and often overtly sexual activity that you see at Carnivale parades around the world. And who would condemn that? It's a party!

[Torchwatch]

As a child I used to be embarrassed at the sight of overly cute children on television especially in American drama like original Star Trek. In Britain the overly posh drama school children playing working class kids made me cringe. They did not represent me, they created an adults view of childhood that excluded me and everyone I knew. We felt embarrassed and alienated by the portrayal of young people on the media.

Men wear speedos for many reasons; at one extreme are those whose speedos are simply sportswear for training and racing and who deny that they have any sensual or sexual reactions from their swimwear. At the other extreme are those that wear speedos, bikinis and thongs in public gay pride marches, cavorting their almost naked bodies in a sexual manner trying to tempt viewers with their sensuality.

Homophobes are turned on by the reckless gay abandon at the pride parade but they repress their excitement turning it into disgust and hatred. Seeing men cavorting in thongs they start calling all brief swimwear including racing speedos as being gay. The swimmer who has no sexual attachment to his speedos will feel embarrassed at being publicly represented by those at the bacchanalia. Rather than being lumped together with all those almost naked dancers he will deny them and suggest that publicly cavorting in speedos is wrong.

I think the swimmer is mistaken, some people will find the sight of him in his speedos to be sexy even if he doesn't himself. the homophobes will be excited and disgusted by him whether he is str8 or gay. The swimmer should do his swim training and racing in his speedos but he should try to be tolerant of the Pride Paraders having their day of fun.

For myself I'll wear 2" classic racing speedos when I train in a public pool, when I get to a quiet beach I'll wear a 1" bikini or even a thong depending on how far I can get from the madding crowd. I don't want to be forced into wearing board shorts or a burqa when I'm 100 yard from the next person.

[tightjeans]

Originally Posted by Blue Nike

I equate the jubilant celebration you see at gay pride parades with the same outlandish, joyful, and often overtly sexual activity that you see at Carnivale parades around the world. And who would condemn that? It's a party!

I have no personal inhibitions to condemning the activity which occurs at some of the "Carnival Parades".

[PSDave]

I too would not condemn the party atmosphere. However, these celebrations, for the most part, are the only mass media publicity the gay community gets. If the partiers are dancing around in speedos or in drag, that is the image that is projected.
It is all a matter of perception. If the only time people see gays in the paper or on TV they are wearing speedos -- what do you think they will think when they see a man on the beach or around a pool wearing a speedo?