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  #311  
Old 07-02-2018, 02:13 PM
sebbie sebbie is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Default Understanding ourselves, part 2 (continues from above)

Part of what sent me off in this direction was reading the Highline/Huffpost article that attempts to explain why there are so many sexual predators doing illegal sexual things that might result in serious criminal charges, but then also how this all relates or not to male sexuality what is considered normal sexual behavior falling into my categories 2 and 3 above. You are welcome to read the same content I am reading, here
https://highline.huffingtonpost.com/...ual-predators/

The article puts forth a number of different ideas and ties them all together. The claim is made that what a guy ultimately finds sexually arousing or not is actually laid down in males (and perhaps females) far earlier than puberty. The reference is to a period in a guy’s (and girl’s) life called adrenarche, in which the adrenal glands at the top of the kidneys start producing significant amounts of hormones. This occurs at ages 6-8, long before when real puberty sets in (10-12). The article claims that despite minimal physical changes, a host of things are going on in one’s mind and body that have sexual implications, most notably the determination of what a person will find to be sexually arousing or not after puberty. In other words, a guy age 6-8 might not realize that it would be sexually exciting to put on a swim brief, but the psychosexual pathways are already laid down such that this will become really interesting and fun to do once real puberty sets in 2-4 years later.

The weird part is perhaps the same with all the rest of it. What happens with respect to sexual behavior throughout adulthood was determined at a very early age. This might mean that the sexual pathways necessary to function as gay or straight might be determined at age 6-8 as well, not to mention the role that a partner might or might not play in adult sexual behavior. I’ve long observed that some guys, straight or gay, are consumed by the idea that sex means sex with a partner, while others not so much if at all. How important a partner is to one’s sexual being as an adult was actually determined at age 6-8. Whether or not you get aroused wearing snug-fitting clothing is the same deal.

The article goes further to claim that what is happening at anderarche also sets up people, normally males, for a host of different potentially criminal sexual behaviors ranging from rape, pedophilia, sexual predators of various sorts and even including sexually-motivated serial killers. MOST guys do not end up engaging in anything potentially criminal, but also, obviously, some do.

Having a sexual partner obviously plays a much bigger role for some guys than others. For that matter, the various ways of engaging in solo sex and what might or might not be a turn-on varies from one guy to another as well. You might say “Meh” to a specific activity that I might find extremely arousing. But the same for me and the stuff you really like. In partner sex, this is all referred to euphorically as “sexual compatibility”. Relationships generally shine when partners are sexually compatible, though partners never seem to fully understand this until after they are well into pairing up mode if not married.

Which brings us back to Josh and Dylan—the two college roommates who happened at random to be rooming together in the same tight quarters. Both of them had this sexual “thing” for snug-fitting clothing, although Josh did not fully appreciate his own situation until he actually saw what Dylan was doing with and to himself. And Dylan did not realize that he was psychologically sensitive to what Josh was doing in the skimpy little thong until the situation was right there in front of Dylan to see. Now we know that the psychosexual pathways that make this all possible were laid down long before puberty, perhaps as early as 6-8.

Stay tuned…
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  #312  
Old 07-04-2018, 01:12 PM
sebbie sebbie is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Default Complicated Stuff, all of it!

From the very first time I saw a guy wearing a swim brief, I knew that was something that I definitely wanted to be able to do myself. I didn’t know how I was going to set up a situation where I could do that, but something—I wasn’t sure what—was calling me, loudly. I just couldn’t seem to get out of my head the whole idea of having my groin area encased in such a skimpy, snug-fitting garment. I didn’t understand the nuances of what was driving me to think like this, except that whatever it was seemed to be coming through loud and clear and capturing my attention over and over.

At that age, I was still learning stuff about myself and my body. I supposed I was not unlike any other guy my age—I was starting to appreciate how sensitive my penis was to anything that touched it, my fingers perhaps, but what about articles of clothing that accidentally happened to rub against it. It didn’t take me long to learn that the likelihood of this happening was greater the snugger the garment, and that the material used in the garment could be important too—smooth and slick was going to feel better than rough and course.

Somehow, a swim brief checked all the boxes in this respect, better than anything else out there, at least at the time. Snug-fitting? Yup! Smooth and slick? Of course! For a guy who was enamored with the sensations his penis was capable of producing, a snug-fitting swim brief was the “mother lode” of discovery.

I didn’t fully understand or appreciate what was going on with me in this regard, except to realize that whatever it was seemed really important. I was excited about the prospects, but scared and concerned as well. Was I “normal”? Did other guys my age have these same issues and problems? Was what I was going through OK? Is this something that I should logically be ashamed of? These are complicated questions, and not questions any guy at that age should be able to resolve.

I naturally assumed that what I had accidentally uncovered here was a short-term, temporary phenomenon, and once I reached adulthood such “silliness” would get replaced with something still more complicated but better, as in sex with a female partner. I was clueless as to how that was supposed to work. The whole subject of having sexual fun while wearing a swimming brief seemed to be light years different from that of developing a relationship involving sex with a (female) partner. Surely these two ideas could not somehow co-exist, or could they?

Then there are all the complicated side questions. Starting with the question of what happens if I manage to somehow obtain a snug-fitting swimming brief and immediately get so turned on that all I want to do is jerk off in that? That is an obvious puzzle that needs a resolution. How am I going to pull that off given that is one thing that I would really like to experience. But I need privacy to pull that off. Where? When, and what if, by accident, I get discovered? How am I going to explain this to anyone who might figure out what I am doing to and with myself?

This is where life for guys gets really, really complicated. I keep imagining I am with a group of other guys my age who are all dealing with the same issue and doing the same thing. But is this realistic? Perhaps I could be the only guy who is having this problem and the other guys, not aroused at all when putting on their briefs, are just taking the whole thing in stride, wearing a snug-fitting swim brief is just as normal as sunshine! I’m getting really worried now.

But what if the other guys seem to be getting aroused to varying degrees as well? Perhaps I am NOT the only guy who has a problem. Things happen. I know I am really psychologically sensitive particularly when I see other guys wearing swim briefs with partially erect penises in the “up” position. Seeing the outline of the underside of a penis pressing hard against the swim brief somehow does stuff to me, stuff that happens in both my head and in my groin. I love it, but it makes me apprehensive as well.

Then there is the whole subject of drops of precum. I can’t help myself. If I see another guy in a swim brief penis clearly up, I can’t resist looking to see if he is dripping an occasional drop through the brief at the point where the very tip of the penis is located. Am I the only guy who pays any attention to this or is this normal for guys to do? Does this mean I am gay, or have a gay streak? What in the world is going on here from a psychosexual perspective?

I have yet to sort this all out. At one point I thought that this was all something guys might find interesting in their teen years, but then quickly discard as partner sex soon replaced such ideas. After all these years, that never happened and I still find these issues fascinating to ponder.

Now I read that biologically, all of this stuff is laid down in guys even well before puberty, at anderarche, as early as 6-8 years of age. At that age, I had no real awareness of things like swimming briefs, except to say that is where the preconditions to all of this gets fixed, and all the rest. This is all interesting, but scary.

I’m also still trying to determine how this all gets sorted out once guys form relationship bonds. A presume that gay guys have it easier carrying this stuff into a relationship than straight guys do. Sharing the stuff I just told you with another male as a sexual partner just seems a whole lot easier than trying to explain it all to a female partner, even if I were somehow willing to do that.

Then I get into really complicated questions about what a sexual relationship really involves. Are Dylan and Josh involved in some sort of gay relationship despite having never even touched each other, let alone exchanged bodily fluids in any way? What exactly does a sexual relationship with another person involve anyway?

To be continued…
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  #313  
Old 07-06-2018, 01:47 PM
sebbie sebbie is offline
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Default Does color matter?

This is a fascinating question. I have learned recently that when it comes to being aroused and able to enjoy snug-fitting clothing of various sorts is something that likely gets laid down at a very early age, maybe well before real puberty sets in, if we assume that for males real puberty roughly happens with the first ejaculation of semen. This is complicated but most interesting stuff to think about. It suggest that even though a guy may not be old enough to even begin to happen to his mind and body as he becomes a young adult, very early on a guy knows that something interesting and ultimately important is happening to him.

That something, of course, is the sensations that he is starting to feel of various sorts emanating from the groin area and the gradual discovery that a guy has a degree of control over when and how this all happens to him. Fun stuff, but, in a way, quite scary as well. One of the first things a guy learns is that there are certain things, perhaps best called situations that can occur which results in very pleasant feelings and a desire to do more of that. What kinds of situations? You might first think of a guy rubbing or stroking certain body parts with pleasant results, that is, feelings and sensations, sometimes referred to as plain ordinary masturbation. All guys do that, well at least nearly all guys do that. This is almost always done in private, under a cloud of secrecy and without any other person present, whether that other person is a parent, a sibling or a peer. At least, most guys quickly try to engage in such activity in a very covert matter.

But most guys also quickly learn that masturbation is more than just touching and stroking oneself in private. There are other things that seem to work as well or better in setting off a flood of pleasant sensations and feelings…smooth, snug-fitting clothing, for example, can frequently be a significant and helpful “aid” in this regard.

This is where stuff has always gotten really complicated for me. One of the interesting aspects of all of this is not only the self-discovery part (which I was always very fond of pursuing) but also many attempts to put together the parts of the puzzle that I didn’t fully understand. Some of you might think this would involve how couples engage in sex with each other, but my primary concern has instead always been understanding more fully how the other guys, friends, related male peers who are not siblings and similar, were dealing with the same feelings, issues and sensations that I was experiencing in this regard. In short, I’ve always wanted to learn more about what other guys my age enjoyed doing with and to themselves. Given what I was experiencing, surely something similar was happening to other guys around me as well. Do other guys have the same problems” and how to they cope with the situation.

What does this have to do with snug-fitting swim briefs, anyway? Turns out, quite a bit. Back when I was about 11 or so, my male cousin, a year younger than me, came to visit from the West coast. I always looked to my West coast cousins for ideas with respect to what they were doing differently from what me, living in a landlocked state, was able to do.

So, we all went down to the lake, swimming. There were my two cousins, one a year younger than I, and the other a year older, were both wearing swim briefs. The older cousin had a maroon one, but what was really getting me going was what the younger cousin was wearing, a slick-and-bright royal blue one with stripes of white piping down both sides.

And the younger cousin obviously really loved that little bright blue brief. He was so fond of it that when he got through in the water, he didn’t remove it but just slipped on a pair of shorts over. And interestingly, he was planning on spending the night at my parent’s place and would be sleeping with me in my bedroom with me.

As it turns out, he was still wearing the bold blue suit that night. This happened a long time ago, but he slept in the suit for part of the night, then pulled it off and laid it on the top of the bed. I so wanted to try it on myself to see if it felt as good as it looked, but that possibility, sadly, was beyond me. That night proceeded with me still having had an all-new appreciation for all of this. In retrospect, I have to believe that the reason my cousin wore that suit for so long (his mom thought it was a bit weird but she let him do it anyway) was because, he had discovered that he could enjoy himself that way without anyone else around him being the wiser as to what he was experiencing. I doubt he appreciated the fact that in the process he was driving me bananas too.

To this day, bright royal blue swim briefs still quickly “do it” for me, but especially so if they have white piping down the sides. Years later, I actually found a royal blue Speedo® with white piping, one that came in one of those famous little cardboard boxes.

Many guys have expressed a fondness for swim brief of a certain color. I have a hunch this is because a particular color brings back fond memories of a first encounter with a brief of that color, and way fornd memories of enjoying oneself in that particular colored brief based on events that might have taken place a long time ago. What this color might be varies by the individual and what the situation might have been.

For example, some guys seem to be fond of a dark green suit with white stripes. This fondness for a certain color and the arousal associated with it goes beyond simply liking a particular cut and fit. Like the royal blue Speedo® with the white piping, these connections may have ended up getting glued to a guy’s brain many, many years ago, but still work. This is stuff most guys would still never dare talking about with a partner, but gay guys may find this easier than straight guys in this regard. I have long suspected that nearly every guy must have stuff like this bouncing around in his head, irrespective of sexual orientation.

To be continued…
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