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Old 10-02-2014, 08:38 PM
shaulis shaulis is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 338
Default great start

Swimmboy,

I like your story so far. You have good characters in your story I already like Derek. He could have lashed out at the other player but listened to him and accepted his apology. I think I will like story. Please keep writing.
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