[sebbie]

Having fun by yourself

Solo sex is very different from sex with a partner in a host of different ways. In partner sex, the goal is all about having an orgasm at “the end” of the session. In male-female partner sex, generally the couple strives to try and ensure that both of them not only get to an orgasmic point but also that both of them reach an orgasm at not necessarily the exact same time but certainly close together if at all possible.

Of course, this does not always happen with the timing that is considered ideal if at all, and thousands of books have been written on the subject of finding out why and what the partners can do about it. Getting the orgasm timing just right often becomes the primary object of the couple and as a result the couple becomes less focused on the sheer pleasure of sexual arousal, male and female.

In gay sex with a male partner the circumstances change somewhat. The goal becomes now whether or not the male partners can have an orgasm at approximately the same time, but rather that both partners in a sexual encounter are able to have an ejaculatory orgasm within a specific sexual encounter even if the two ejaculations are comparatively widely-spaced time wise. The ejaculation focus may be with one partner initially and once he has ejaculated that partner can turn his attention to what is necessary to do for the other partner to get to ejaculate. But there is no particular premium placed on both male partners ejaculating at nearly the same time as there often is with a male-female sexual encounter.

What about guys who do not have a sexual partner at all? One way of looking at this is that these guys are somehow way unfortunate because sexual pleasure is all about two people not one enjoying their arousal together not alone. Guys (women too) end up in situations very frequently do not have a sexual partner by choice or by circumstance. EVERY guy probably spent his early years with either no sexual partner or with few actual sexual encounters. Yet guys are not sexually disinterested in their early years even if they lack a sexual partner. Getting and being aroused sexually and enjoying the wonderful sensations of arousal is part of growing into adulthood, and is also very much a part of the lives of individuals who do not have a sexual partner in adulthood by choice or by circumstance. For guys who are in this category solo sex (aka masturbation) becomes a critical part of their daily lives.

As a young teen, I may find myself masturbating in the home bathroom so that no one in my family can discover what I am doing in there by myself. But there are limits to how long a guy can be in a bathroom without attracting the attention of other family members. So the guy quickly develops masturbation methods that “get the whole thing over” fairly quickly, as in seeing how fast the guy can go from having an initial hard-on to an orgasm.

But as a young adult I might very well now be out and living alone, in which case as a male I can really begin to start to learn about edging, as in maintaining a state of high arousal but just under what would create the muscular contractions and ejaculate that comes with a full orgasm. That the young adult male lacks a sexual partner for engaging in this is not a bad thing and it might even be a good thing. And learning the nuances of how to maintain a high arousal state without ejaculating can never be a bad thing even in partner sex.

I admit that I often learn new things by visiting sites such as pornhub. Pornhub as directed to males is divided into straight and gay sections. Obviously the straight section involves videos of male-female sexual encounters, and part of the gay male side is videos of two guys having various kinds of sex as male partners. This might represent 60-65 percent of the gay male videos. But the remaining 35 percent on the gay male side consists of guys engaging in various kinds of solo sex activities, from simple masturbation with the hand to other activities that might include things like hand-held vibrators, various electrostimulation devices and vacuum penis pumps.

I am amazed at the role that edging plays in most of these videos—the idea is for the guy to get to a point where sexual arousal is very high but just under the point where the involuntary muscular contractions associated with ejaculation must occur. These guys are doing all the things to themselves that the teen seeking a quick orgasm in the bathroom could not. To make this even more difficult, guys claim in the edging video that they have not ejaculated for several days, so that “riding on the edge of ejaculation” is even more difficult with the guy’s body screaming at him in various ways that it needs to get rid of semen ASAP. This is both great fun but also mental and physical “torture” of sorts. Watching guys “suffer” with such edging can be and is most interesting to see. This is far more interesting in my view that observing a male and female get off together or even a gay male couple engage in a sexual encounter.

Of course there is always the thought that a serial edger might have come up with techniques that have not occurred to me and that I will see something interesting about doing this that I did not already know. But over the years I have developed my own long list of edging methods many of which seem to also work extremely well and I highly recommend to other guys.

Today I am back in the thong, strap and jeans that I wore yesterday and wrote about in the previous post. The combination still feels great. Last night I started with my little estim device, and then continued with my vacuum penis pump. Obviously the jeans, strap and thong had to come off, but by nightfall I was still feeling really horny. Then I had fun massaging my hard penis coming out of the vacuum pump using shower gel as lube, but just under the point where I would have gone into the involuntary muscular contractions of an orgasm. Then I dove into a warm tub of water, still feeling way horny. I dried off and pulled on another thong which I slept in, and this morning I was still feeling way aroused which means that mentally I was in good shape to write what you have just read. Soon I will be on my rowing machine and stationary bike while still fixated on the whole subject of how wonderful it is to be able to edge and go along for days like this without having an orgasm!