[sebbie]

A Fondness for Speedos Part I

I am trying to remember what was going on in my mind and body at age 10 and 11, a year or two before I reached male puberty. Unfortunately, I did not take any notes that would be useful in writing this essay so I am relying entirely on my memory. I guess most people would call the onset of puberty in males as the point in time when the guy has his first instance of ejaculating semen. But if my memory is correct, I remember getting erections quite a while before that, it’s just that the erections did not end with ejaculation. In fact, given my small stature, I recall getting erections that looked very large to me. Fascinating, but why?

I also learned long before puberty that touching and fondling my penis was something that was quite enjoyable. But what was driving me bonkers is that I would sometimes get a firm erection for no apparent reason at all just seemingly out of nowhere, and I had no idea what to make of that. My body was telling me something, but what? Of course, guys my age were all wondering if their male classmates were somehow coping with the same problem, and if so, exactly how were they dealing with it.

Of course, now we know that people can have sexual sensations at a very early age perhaps even before they are walking. A current TV ad for diapers shows kids in diapers in all sorts of movements, some that appear to be putting lots of pressure in the groin area by lying face down on the floor and then moving rapidly across the floor. They are actually masturbating in that position prone on the floor. As I watch the diaper ad I keep thinking that its an ad featuring some really early efforts by these kids in that regard. Indeed there is serious research which reveals that kids masturbate long before their parents realize at all what they are doing.

So, by the time a guy is 10 or 11, even if he has not ejaculated, he is well along in the process of how to enjoy himself in this manner. The important point is that guys do not just suddenly get their first erection on the day that they first void semen, nor is the semen voiding day the first day in a guy;s life that the guy has ever touched himself down there. The masturbation process has been going on for a long time by the day the first semen voiding occurs, and the ejaculation is more nearly a culmination than the start of something new and interesting.

Somehow, finding out that the other males my age were also dealing with the same problem would be a source of “relief” for me, but this was the 1950s, and guys did not talk about stuff like that for sure even though they might be very curious as well. But there were all sorts of indirect ways of collecting information.

I the 1950 and into the 1960s, practically every guy wore a white cotton brief. Of course, these briefs fit quite snug an so if a guy was in a situation where he and his male friends were all stripped to their underwear, everyone looked around to see exactly what the situation was with each of the other guys based on how the cotton brief pouch looked. But these instances, often in a gym locker room, did not occur that often. And situations where all the guys were completely nude were even rarer, so information as to what was going on with the other guys was even tougher to come by.

My recalling of the advent of puberty for me is that there was not simply one day where I ejaculated for the first time. Instead, I had run into a new “problem” where I was waking up with dime-sized starchy spots on my pajama bottoms. Nothing big, maybe up to three of them a night, but this started occurring more or less regularly. Depending on when during the night this happened the spot could be completely dry, or maybe still wet. The wet ones that were made early in the morning were more difficult to hide than the ones I deposited shortly after I went to bed that by morning were completely dry on my pajama bottoms.

But, the onset of puberty supposedly is when the first daytime and fully awake ejaculation takes place. For me, this has a swimwear--tho not swim brief--connection. I liked to fill the inflatable pool with water, let the sun warm it, and then go out in the pool and contemplate my navel along with the meaning of life. I had a swimsuit but it was not a swim brief. What was popular in those days was looser fit, typically a small plaid in either blue or red (Mine was usually red). These had about 6-inch long legs, so by board short standards these were quite short (tho not brief style.). Still, these suits always had an inner liner made from a fine nylon mesh, and, guess what? The inner liner was actually made in a brief style.

The claim was that the liner was there for “support”. What was really going on was that without a snugger fitting liner, there was a real danger that the guy’s penis would fall right out one of the leg openings. Remember, the legs were not very long and since the material was a cotton blend and loose fitting.

Well, it didn’t take me long to figure out that the nylon mesh of the liner felt quite nice rubbing against my penis, and naturally, sitting in the little pool of water it was not long before I got to playing with myself. I would take a quick look down there by pulling the waistband away from my body, and I was quickly getting quite long and hard. My penis just sat there pressed against the mesh lining. Interesting!

I had been in this situation of having a big penis a number of times before, and it all ended with my penis simply coming down in size. But for some unexplained reason (well no, explained reason, as in the harder my penis got the better I liked it) I kept thinking about what was happening while I suppose, occasionally touching myself down there too. I was liking this situation a lot.

Well, somehow I went too far. Suddenly I started ejaculating semen into the nylon mesh liner. Now a guy’s first wide awake daytime ejaculation is quite an event to behold! I was feeling elated and terrified at the same time. No one told me this would happen even though I had been having erections and even nighttime spotting for some time. The first time a guy goes into full ejaculation complete with all the muscular contractions is huge fun but also scary as all get out. I was right on the edge between the two. But sitting in a little pool of water, I was in a position to hide the evidence pretty easily. No one else would know what had happened.

The swimwear with the mesh liner was far easier to explain than would be a swim brief, and whenever I got the chance, even if I was not going in the water, this style of suit was my go-to choice for daytime masturbation. I would masturbate into the liner of the suit and then put it back in my dresser drawer until the next time. Eventually I had big semen stains all over the liner but no one checked, and these would be somewhat washed away if I again wore the suit in water. Through my teen years I still harbored some fear of discovery but I got smart about hiding my activities. Eventually the semen destroyed the mesh liner.