[sebbie]

Update:

Last night I crawled into my maroon Sporti Euro swim brief and pulled a pair of pile sleep pants over. I slept very well, and my ‘nads never complained one bit! Tonight I'm going to make another try with the Wang Jiang. I will NOT be defeated! The Wang Jiang design still looks like way too much fun to pass on.

Part LXXIV

One of the tricky parts about becoming an adult male is that a guy’s sexual being never develops in quite the way a guy thinks it should develop, based on what a guy sees in movies and on TV

If a guy thinks he can fully understand his sexual being by watching TV or going to a movie, he is very misinformed. What he would learn is that the only erections that take place involve some sort of encounter with another person, for straight guys that would be a female about the same age and for gay guys a male of a similar age. That is just how male sexuality works!

Of course, that is not just how male sexuality works, at least for most guys. The problem is that most guys end up being embarrassed once they learn that the simple partner sex rule, well, err, doesn’t quite work that way for their own situation. Once they discover this, most guys muddle through their teen years wondering what is wrong with them if their penises do not seem to want to behave according to what they thought were the fundamental “rules” for being a sexually-active guy.

And that is where solo sex aka masturbation gets such bad “press”. The first question a lot of guys probably have is “How can something that seems abnormal be so much fun!” And the whole topic of doing it without a sexual partner becomes off-limits for any talk with other males. Guys typically feel uncomfortable sharing notes on the topic, perhaps for fear of being labeled gay. And every guy develops a series of methods for keeping hidden from others what he is and has been doing by and with himself.

Plus, guys almost invariably develop a list of stuff that turns them on without being with (or even thinking about being with) a sexual partner. This is actually a good thing not a bad thing, because a guy gets to experiment with how his sexual pluming and electric works without the hassle and complicated additional issues relating to having regular sex with a partner.

The struggles many guys have in dealing with the idea of wearing a swim brief is a perfect illustration of what I am saying. I have often wondered what the actual percentage of guys buy swim briefs with the intent of wearing them for swimming versus jerking off in them in private. The swim brief is perhaps the best example of a garment guys are scared of wearing because they fear a hard-on in a location or at a time that would be inappropriate. Yet they also seem to be nearly ideal as a jerk-off aid. What I am saying is that a lot of guys out there end up buying a swim brief mainly if not exclusively for purposes other than swimming even though they might not want to admit it.

The other issue is that if a guy gets a hard-on simply by seeing his own body in the mirror when clad in a colorful swim brief does the guy really want this “problem” to go away or does he want to keep being able to do this? And, what does do with this interesting phenomenon or skill if the guy does enter into a relationship involving partner sex? Does this somehow fade into the background and eventually disappear, or can a guy keep this enjoyable part of who he is while in the relationship? (This is certainly an easier question for a gay guy than a straight guy to answer, because the option for the gay guy is simply to find a partner who “enjoys” wearing a swim brief as well!)

My recommendation on all of this while looking back over my lifetime is that there are many uses for a snug little swim brief and only one of them is for swimming. I like to use them as sleepwear in part because it is so enjoyable to play with myself at various times throughout the night while wearing one. As a guy gets older, wet dreams occur less and less frequently and eventually not at all. But being in a swim brief all night long feels really enjoyable, and it still feels great even at my age.

So, my recommendation for a guy who wants to get his mind and body “used” to being in a swim brief is to get one with the intention of first sleeping while wearing it, not appearing at some outdoor swimming pool in the new brief. You can work up to that if you want. If you are “concerned” about others seeing you wearing the brief to bed, just pull on a loose-fitting pair of shorts over, or sleep pants in cold weather, and you can still enjoy yourself in nearly complete privacy.

You may get to the point where you are enjoying yourself so much that you will want to go shopping for something that poses an even greater challenge to mind and body, perhaps an even snugger or skimpier brief or even a swim thong or an athletic supporter and use those as potential sleepwear as well. This desire to keep wearing something new that is ever snugger and skimpier is very normal, and trying new things that meet that criterion is part of the fun.

The only problem you still have is figuring out what of who you are you can bring along into a partner sexual relationship. Suppose you decide to move in together with a partner. Do you need to toss your collection of neat items before your partner discovers what you have been doing when you did not have a partner, or can some or all of your collection and how you are using it somehow be brought into the relationship?

Still another way of looking at this is that by wearing a swim brief every night you should eventually get comfortable enough so that you can wear one at the pool as well. For the still “nervous about this” guy I recommend using a swim brief as a “liner” for a loose-fitting pair of swim shorts, and then discarding the shorts at the side of the pool just before entering the water. On getting out, simply reverse the process. Then find a lounge chair at the side of the pool and once again pull off the pair of loose-fitting shorts and sun yourself only wearing the swim brief. This is better for a guy new to wearing swim briefs at a public pool than walking across the edge of the pool and feeling that everyone is gawking at your suit, and then getting an unintended hard-on just thinking about the possibility that others are watching you.

Two final words of advice. First, If you enjoy doing or even reading what I have just described, or think you might enjoy trying it, you are definitely not alone, and second, I am trying my best to give you practical and worthwhile advice for dealing with all of this while having completely safe and enjoyable fun with your own mind and body.

To be continued…