[sebbie]

Safely Enjoying Who You Are

As my readers are well aware, I am a big advocate for the whole idea of enjoying one’s own body, sexually, but also about dreaming up unique and interesting ways to do this that do not create issues for others nor do harm to yourself. Much of what I enjoy doing to, with and for myself could be readily adapted as activities a couple might also enjoy doing together, either straight or gay. And the activities I suggest do not have risk factors either for getting a female pregnant nor transmitting HIV or other venereal disease whether the couple is straight or gay.

I have been doing some reading on studies that examine the sexual behavior of the under 18 crowd, and the number that sticks in my mind is the estimate that 40 percent of people have had male-female intercourse before the age of 18. This is a much bigger number than most parents probably would like to believe. And, I suspect a large percentage of teen girls are not on any sort of birth control and are operating on the notion that they likely won’t get pregnant only on the first time and then, if their boyfriend has penis-vagina sex only “occasionally” whatever that means.

I encounter a lot of adult men who seem to believe that having penis-vagina sex in a relationship with a woman is about the only thing in life worthwhile, and many of these same men are into casual relationships outside of marriage. Apparently (though I am not the best one to say) there are more or less equal numbers of women who think the same way. Dare I say that there are women out there who enjoy having penis in vagina with multiple sexual partners and part of the “fun” experience is that the risk of getting pregnant is an element of the sexual satisfaction. Some people—both men and women—thrive on danger of this sort and the danger makes the entire act more erotic for both of them.

What to do in the case of either the teen pregnancy or casual sex pregnancy? Why have an abortion of course, a nationwide right guaranteed by the Roe vs Wade since 1973. No reason to use birth control or engage in safe sex practices if the “problem” can be solved by an easy, low cost abortion. After all, the “right to choose” is fundamental to a host of other “rights” women want to claim.

So, given the events of the last day that suggest the Supreme Court might be readying to overturn Roe v Wade making laws regarding abortion different in each of the 50 states, the reaction to what happened was not surprising at all. I have long been struggling with the question of “Who are the people who view it crucial to be able to have an ‘on demand’ abortion?” I have already named two categories of women..teenagers who want sex with their teen boyfriends without having to first talk their parents into getting on the pill, and women who somehow like the whole idea of having casual sex with many different men. The abortion rights advocates always mention women who are victims of rape and incest but the total of those is likely tiny in comparison to the sizes of the first two groups. Then there is the category of a married heterosexual couples in which the wife finds herself not wanting another child but somehow ended up pregnant anyway. Given the number of different birth control measures out there that allow women to avoid pregnancy entirely, I cannot believe that this “happy couple” demand for abortion could be that large either, but again I am not the best witness on that subject.

So, if getting an abortion is about to become more difficult in many states, what are the implications? I am drawn back to HIV in the early days in which suddenly the favored anal sex option for many gay men turned out to be a high-risk method of getting HIV which meant a high risk of death. Gay men that loved butt sex had to change their ways, and fast, Suddenly the thought was that a guy needed to know the sexual history of his partner and wear a condom if anal sex occurred at all. A lot of gay guys had to adapt and change to engaging in activities with their partners, casual or long term, that posed much less--perhaps zero risk--of HIV transmission. A good example being mutual masturbation where bodily fluids are not exchanged or a dildo not a penis as a method for stimulating the prostate as an alternative to conventional butt sex. To a degree at least, gay guys got more creative in coming up with interesting and fun things to do that were low risk.

If Roe v Wade is overturned, abortion options in many states will become less readily available if at all. This presents a problem for the 16-year-old girl looking to have penis-vagina sex with her “cute” 16-year-old boyfriend. Maybe the idea of him wearing a condom has a lot of merit—more so than before. Or maybe its time for the frank conversation with the parents about the need for birth control pills.

And for the adult men and women who have regularly been engaging in penis-vagina sex with multiple partners, in partners based on the idea that if the birth control method fails, a quick abortion is always readily available, some rethinking will be needed. Maybe there are other things casual sex couples can engage in other than penis-vagina sex that are not only a lot of fun but essentially risk free with respect to the danger of pregnancy. Back in the 1970s, gay men somehow sorted this all out and lowered the risk of HIV by simply not engaging in unprotected butt sex. The options as alternatives to the butt sex in many ways became more interesting and creative.

By now my readers are wondering what this all has to do with jerking off while wearing a swim brief. It turns out, quite a lot! First off, no one has ever gotten HIV nor gotten a girl pregnant ejaculating while wearing a swim brief. The issues instead occur if the swim brief comes off! I can think up a large number of ways either a straight or gay couple could have fun while completely avoiding the risks of either a HIV transmission or a pregnancy. All sorts of ideas grounded in mutual masturbation come to mind. And generally, oral sex acts, while perhaps having some risk of HIV transmission, completely avoid the pregnancy risk. Both men and women have many different body parts that can be licked, stroked and fondled in all sorts of interesting ways. If Roe v Wade is overturned, these behaviors with zero risk of pregnancy will come to the forefront for a lot of couples where the women seeks to engage only in activities that definitely do not lead to an unwanted pregnancy.