[sebbie]

Part II

So I suppose that the sequence of events I went through as a young male was not that much different from what other males growing up go through, but just like every other guy my age there is lots of stuff going on in both my brain and my body, and every guy probably goes through stages where he feels that he has somehow got something going on inside that is unique or not the same thing other guys are experiencing. So too, with me.

At that early age most guys are only vaguely aware that sex has something to do with developing a relationship and finding a partner for having sex (or intercourse). Obviously there is lots of information out there on the subject that guys only gradually and often surreptitiously become aware of, but the problem is that the information that is out there often seems disorganized and disjointed. For example, do guys basically have sex with a female partner first and then work at developing a relationship of some sort? If guys used coming-of-age movies as core sources of information about how two people get to the point where they are having intercourse, one could easily conclude that partner sex precedes getting into a loving relationship. Does the real world operate in that mode as well? Good question, especially for a 12 or 13-year old. That leads guys back to the “normal” thoughts they have about how their parents met, fell in love and had sex. Obviously the fact that the guy is here in itself is proof that SOMETHING must have gone on that was quite “physical” as difficult as that is sometimes for young guys to believe.

Then there is all the other stuff going on. Pre-puberty, most guys are at least aware of the fact that they are carrying around stuff hanging beneath the groin that seems very touch-sensitive, but this only really becomes attention-grabbing once puberty starts to set in. Suddenly there is that distinct tensing situation in which the penis seems to feel “tight” (filling with blood, of course) and some crazy-seeming links between that sensation and how a guy copes with the situation in his brain. Suddenly it occurs to the guy that his own brain is really not that far separated from his groin. This is surely interesting, but also disconcerting at least at first. Complicated stuff. Really complicated.

Worse, guys are quickly “conditioned” to the idea that sexual feelings and sexual relationships are so intertwined that no guy dare admit to having sexual feelings that are NOT brought on by being with a sexual partner.

Yet, as any guy realizes, reality is anything but that. Young males have sexual thoughts and feelings regularly in the absence of a partner. Old males do too, but at least they are normally better able to cope with the situation. Still, for a young guy, terror would be getting an erection in the presence of other males, say in a gym locker room. Holy terror would be for this erection to get so strong that the guy goes into a full-scale ejaculation mode with other guys present. Getting into a situation like this is a nightmarish thought for most young guys.

Still, guys soon realize that the sensations associated with getting erect and then ejaculating are terrific fun at some core level, but it’s just that you generally don’t want to get stuck in a situation where this happens with your male buds present because that could get dicey. So generally, guys try to avoid getting themselves caught up in situations in which this has a probability of happening.

Interestingly enough, snug-fitting clothing of various sorts can act as a “triggering” mechanism, and often time clothing worn in a gym or sports situation. There are any number of items that can be a potential problem in this regard. And guys tend to steer clear of situations where they think they will be “forced” to wear something that could act as an erection triggering mechanism.

That, in a nutshell is why masturbation involving specific items of snug-fitting clothing is very much a solo activity for most guys. I could easily develop a list of specific items probably most guys would love to jerk off in, but never mind that guys are really wary about revealing what is going on to any of their male friends or female friends for that matter. After all, sexual feelings and sexual relationships with another person are hopelessly intertwined, (or are they?).

Still, guys bouncing out of puberty are likely growing rapidly which means they are quickly growing out of clothing that only recently was sized correctly. Everything you wore last summer is now just a little too snug. Underwear, jeans, swimwear, etc etc. But by this time it’s a rare guy who hasn’t discovered that the stuff that is now too snug often sets up for some interesting sensations in the groin area, so guys often dig into the back of a dresser drawer to wear some of these older items from another time. Wait, what the guy thought would be uncomfortable now feels, well, in a strange way, interesting, and that basic sensation of tenseness is starting to take over in my head. That is not a bad feeling at all. Indeed it feels neat. I wonder if other guys know about this.

To be continued…