[sebbie]

Is it OK to Just Jerk Off in a Speedo® ?

Once way back, when I likely was about 12 years old, I went to see a doctor. Apparently, I had just discovered some ways to enjoy myself down there. Whatever I was doing by myself was a lot of fun, and apparently I explained enough to the doctor that he knew exactly what I was attempting to ask. The approximate response was:

“What you have been doing is not harmful, but you probably should not be doing that!”

This was in the 1950s, and the mere mention that a guy was engaging himself in this way was considered abnormal. Never mind that guys my age were “doing it” on a regular basis anyway.

Over a period of nearly 70 years, I have uncovered a remarkable list of ways to “do it” and I have enjoyed myself immensely. For a long time I have been sharing the details of exactly how I engage myself alone to others, the primary outlet being this Web site. Between the two big posts, “What to Wear” and “Thoughts on Just Being a Guy” at the current count I have over 365,000 reads. I do not know how or why these readers keep piling up like this, but I am delighted with the interest in the stuff I write about, and apparently the topics I discuss are helpful but particularly guys who are still stuck in a time warp about the entire subject of solo pleasuring like I was back when I was but 12 years old.

This brings me to the current day, having wandered through an era when a male being sexually attracted to another male was considered a mental abnormality, to a day were the major discussion seems to be focused on an acceptance of practically any form of sexual behavior other than those that do harm to another person such as rape and pedophilia (the whole LGBTQ thing). Having said that, I am not sure that if a male admitted to others that he spent time jerking off in a Speedo® that would make him part of the Q but not part of the LGBT component? Still, suppose I were back in the 7th grade and another peer male schoolmate happened to see me jerking off—perhaps not even in a Speedo® but maybe in a pair of tighty whiteys, underwear that was all but universal for guys when I was a young lad. Suppose this male who saw me was mean, and told his male peers what I was doing, and the male peers immediately claimed that since I was jerking off in my underwear that I would clearly be growing up as a gay guy, and I would be teased and bullied.

You see the problem. In my mind the LGBTQ community tries to cover all the variations in human sexuality and activities other that good old fashioned sex between a male and a female. But in the process leaves out an important category of males and females who are perfectly happy in a situation whereby they are more than OK with solo masturbation as a sexual release both short and long term.

Over the years I have had a number of male friends who once had but no longer have female partners. These people tend to gravitate to me because they know I have been single and unattached all my adult life, and they wonder how I survive. Perhaps what they really want to know is the details on how I “do it” as outlined in my paper here, but they are too embarrassed to ask the necessary questions and I am not about to start telling stories on my own.

I suppose I could try and clarify all of this. The first point I would make is that I never have felt a compelling desire to have sex with, or worse, had actually live with, a female partner. I decided that I had no interest at age 12. The few times I had something of a date with a woman I wanted to get out of the situation as quickly as possible. Somehow the women also seemed to sense my disinterest in them to, so I gave up on the entire idea of dating women by the time I was 25 (maybe 21). This was not something I had any interest spending either time or money on.

I would make an unworthy gay guy too. So much of the gay male community seems focused on who and under what circumstance are you having anal sex with a male partner, and I am rather turned off by all of that. If a guy really wants to have an orgasm via prostate massage, there are any number of vibrators and estim devices that do an excellent job of that without any risk of getting an STD or worse. I do get a kick out of seeing exactly how another guy masturbates, but there are plenty of porn sites that have videos of that. There are even plenty of videos showing how a guy can have an orgasm while wearing a suit from Speedo® or Arena®. But if calling yourself gay because you have anal sex with a male partner, I want none of that. So this rules me out of the G category.

Still, I am very fond of being a male, and find it odd that any person born as a male could somehow be unhappy with the situation as it originally was. I have zero interest in acting out any part of the female role such as clothing or makeup. I take photos of myself as a male clad in swim briefs, and I am proud of what I am and how I look as a male clad only in a Speedo®. So I clearly do not fall into the T category. Indeed, I think the mad dash of people trying to change their biological sex without first having time for exploring the nuances of what they were originally to be more than crazy. Why does a male want to be female before one has completed the task of finding out how enjoyable being a male really is? I could give lessons on this.

I have spent the bulk of my life as a single guy who has always enjoyed being single and in a situation where I have always had the privacy to engage in fun activities that might prove embarrassing if I were not living alone, and I protect my privacy in that regard. If other males want to learn how to do this I have written a lot of tips and advice on the subject.

For the swimwear brief manufacturers, I have frequently wondered what percentage of the brief sales at companies such a Speedo® and Arena® are sold to guys who probably have no plans to wear one of the products at a pool or beach, but use them for self pleasuring as a neat way to jerk off. I suspect a significant share of them. Online stores are filled with other kinds of gear that can be readily used for jerking off as well, the straps, the thongs, the compression shorts and tights too (using these used to be associated with having an abnormal fetish for certain kinds of clothing, but that claim has dissipated in recent years too), and there is an array of vacuum pumps, estim devices and vibrators designed to be stimulating down there as well. At age 12 I knew nothing about all of this, but somehow, I have managed. For me this has been a case of lifelong learning.

For males engaged in partner sex with another person, the serious sexual encounter often goes for only 7 to 10 minutes tops. One thing the porn sites teach for guys is how to edge, as in getting aroused and staying aroused for long periods of time, for hours if not days. Over time, I habe become an expert on edging, and owning a Speedo® is a basic way to begin to learn how to edge, as a Speedo can be used as an undergarment that may keep you feeling horny all day (or perhaps all night) long. Still, even in the modern “anything goes” acceptance of sexual choices and behaviors that were once regarded as deviant, there remains no place in this new world where a male plans to go home and just spend some time jerking off in a Speedo® no matter how much sheer pleasure it brings. And that is sad….