[sebbie]

Why has all of this remained hidden and secretive? Why can’t guys simply go to a bookstore (or look on line) and learn what they need to know about all of this? There are an enormous number of myths surrounding all of this, starting with the masturbation myths, going all the way back to early Boy Scout manuals.

1. Masturbation defined as any release of sexual tension that does not involve a partner, is evil, sinful, or worse.
2. Anyone who masturbates is immature automatically lacks basic social skills necessary to find a partner in order to have “real sex”.
3. If a guy masturbates, that’s an indicator that he is gay not straight.
4. Masturbation is something that might be tolerable for guys aged 11-14, but by age 15 he should be getting sexual pleasure from interacting with a partner. It’s all just part of growing up. As a guy gets older, interest in masturbating should dissipate as partner-sex takes over his life. If this does not happen, say, by the time a guy becomes the age of a college freshman, the guy has psychosexual issues and has not “matured” properly. (This myth forces many older teens into relationships they don’t really want or need at that stage in their lives.)


Then there is an equally complicated set of issues that involve sexual tension in part brought on by wearing snug-fitting clothing of various sorts. The so-called sex experts seem to not want to deal with this possibility at all, or if they do, it goes down as part of abnormal psychology in the category “fetish” which is loosely defined as any sexual response to an inanimate object such as a piece of clothing, never mind whether the item comes in contact with the penis or not. The experts seem to want to toss all of this into the same box—that anything that does not directly involve being turned on by a partner is somehow weird, abnormal and sick.

Guys know better, but they generally haven’t told the sex experts about what they are doing to (and for) themselves. In part, they are too embarrassed, given the low opinion most of the sex experts have of guys having sexual pleasure in the absence of a partner. Such an idea can’t be “real” sex, or can it?

This in turn all gets bogged down in the question of what is or is not real sex? “Real” is a synonym for partner? Is oral sex real sex? Must real sex involve a penis being contained by another human being? This all gets really complicated to define.

So, at an early age, guys learn that touching and rubbing their penises induces some very pleasurable sensations, sensations that are great fun so long as the activity can be done without anyone else discovering what they are doing, which is embarrassing and a whole lot more.

Not long after that, many, perhaps most guys learn that there are certain items of snug-fitting clothing that feel really good if they come in contact with their penises. So good, in fact, that they result in stuff happening that the guy was conditioned to think would happen only in the presence of a sexual partner. Psychologically and sexually, this is deep stuff. Guys are not only amazed to discover this, but generally terrified at the same time once they discover this

Generally speaking, any piece of snug-fitting clothing could set this all off, but it helps if the fit is quite snug and the fabric quite smooth.

The classic example here of a garment that does this is the Lycra® blend swim brief. Snug-fitting? Absolutely! Fits especially snug right on the penis? For sure!

But this quickly becomes complicated. I suspect that a lot of guys, maybe most, would like to own a snug-fitting swim brief just to “play around in” but not necessarily to appear in public or swim in, but they don’t know how to pull this off without getting detected as to what they are really up to.

If the guy is 14 years old, the first thing the guy would need to do is explain to his parents why he would want to own such a garment assuming he is not a member of the high school swim team.

Then there is the problem that if he does get to purchase such a garment, what exactly happens to his body as a consequence. For swim team members ‘trying on” swim briefs for the first time in the gym locker room, something terrible might happen—as in an out-of-control erection or worse. This is all uncharted territory. Better to experiment at home first, in front of a mirror, bedroom door closed. But what if it turns out that the guy really likes the brief, and putting it on becomes his favorite way to masturbate? Good luck with that one, for certain.

In my view, most guys have something of a love-hate relationship with skimpy swim briefs. Many guys would like to try wearing one just to see how it feels and how their bodies might respond to the new situation, but they can’t figure out a way to pull this off without embarrassing questions being asked about what they are doing and why.

As guys get older but still single, opportunities increasingly present themselves to try some things, say, as a college freshman, that they thought might be interesting but they didn’t dare attempt before they got to college. A great myth is that most male college freshmen are in a relationship with a female partner involving sex, and that provides everything they “need” in that regard. Nothing could be further from the truth in that regard. Junior or Senior, maybe, but most freshmen are still finding in their way in the relationship department, if at all.

Which brings us back to Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh. The four of them have been experimenting with stuff that has been interesting but does not involve partner sex. A lot of this involves snug-fitting items of clothing in various ways. The twist here is that each of the four of them at some level understands not only what the experiment is and that the others in the group are at some level involved in a very similar experiment.

The four of them have also discovered that nothing each of them is doing is bad or dangerous in any way. The whole idea of enjoying oneself in a special way is a wonderful part of being a guy, and to somehow feel that one needs to keep this as a closely guarded secret is no longer essential.

Do these four guys have a relationship or series of relationships going on under these circumstances? Are the four guys deep down each gay not straight at some level? Or would many if not most guys like to be in the situation each of them is currently experiencing?

All of these are really interesting questions for sure.

To be continued…..