What’s up your butt?
What’s up your butt?
Penis-shaped dildos made from wood and stone have been found that predate recorded history so the idea of using something that is a fake penis to stimulate interesting erotic spots has been around for a long time. We like to assume that way back in history the people using these dildos were likely female and they were a way of achieving arousal and maybe an orgasm without the need for a male partner—as in the earliest version of women’s lib.
In the male world straight versus gay was often divided based on whether or not a guy engaged in anal sex with another (presumably gay) male. For a lot of straight guys, anal sex with another male pales in comparison to the “real thing” aka penis-vagina sex with a female partner, and is thus the “centerpiece” of being a straight guy. Moreover, why two gay guys would even find it erotic and sexually interesting to engage in butt sex was something of a mystery to a lot of straight men.
Of course, what was happening in gay male butt sex is explained by a basic understanding of anatomy and where the prostate gland along with many of the nerves that control erection are located, and the realization that by inserting something, a finger, a dildo or an erect penis, it was easily possible to stimulate the prostate and the nerves that control erection indirectly from one side of the anal wall. Straight couples and even female prostitutes discovered that a guy likes being fingered through the anus, with the prostate located about 4 inches up and hiding just behind the anal wall.
Nearly 8 years ago, I lost my prostate to surgery for prostate cancer. I have been healthy for all these years since then. I had what was considered then to be state-of-the-art robotic nerve sparing surgery, the basic idea being that the prostate and the cancer could be removed while sparing some of the important nerves that control an erection. Every guy who has this surgery can still be aroused and have a dry (no semen) orgasm, but the problem is that he may not get very hard, if at all. The extent to which I can get hard after the surgery measures the extent that the nerve sparing part of the surgery works. The surgery worked, sort of, but there are issues as well relating to the fact that lots of things are not quite like they once were.
Of course I knew that with anal sex, gay guys were stimulating the prostate indirectly, which not only felt good but resulted in an erection for the receiver. I no longer have a prostate, but in theory at least the nerves surrounding the now removed prostate are still there and in theory functioning. But how?
I also knew that from the dawn of HIV, gay guys were often seeking out alternatives to anal sex that stimulated the prostate but did not involve a risky interchange of bodily fluids and any approach that accomplished that would be considered. As a health move, post-HIV gay guys discovered that inserting a dildo into their partner was easy and fun to do and HIV risk free, particularly if you researched exactly what needed to be massaged with the dildo to set the erection nerves on fire. And there were all sorts of interesting things to do if both of them inserted dildos in each other, and then did some “research” on each other as to what exactly felt good and how to move the dildo for maximum “effect”. A real penis would work as well, but not only might that interchange bodily fluids, the amount of time a guy could conduct “research” would be drastically limited.
In addition, in the last 20 years or so we have seen a host of new and reasonably priced sex tows that are specifically designed to be put up your own, or your partner’s anus, or both. The sex of the partner does not matter. In addition to the static dildo made of soft plastic (the “manual” method) there are toys that use electric current designed as vibrators for the anus, as well as toys that produce repetitive mild electrical shocks in various patterns and amplitudes, usually drawing current in from a unit with two 1.5 volt AAA batteries.
As I study the videos in the gay section of pornhub, the interesting part to me that all of the men who alone are experimenting with these toys on themselves are still in the “gay” section. But in those videos that feature two (or more) men they are divided between the traditional butt sex videos and the guys employing either dildos as sex toys or a vibrator or perhaps a butt plug attached to a current generating device. More interestingly, the guys in the videos employing the toys with and to a partner seem to be having at least as much erotic fun as the guys going at it in the traditional way. Once of the conclusions I reach is that being gay is no longer just about guys who like to be a top or a bottom in the traditional way, but everyone has moved on to a whole new world of fun things to do, not only alone but with another as well.
Me? Well, I need to trust my doctor who told me that in my surgery he was able to leave at least some of my erection nerves intact, but getting them to do what I wanted might take some time. I’ve already told you stories regarding the vacuum penis pump, and that is one interesting way of restoring suitable amounts of blood flow into the penis. But I have also had great fun with my little estim device. My estim contains two conductive silicone rings, one of which goes around the glans while the other one goes at either the base of the penis or around the scrotum. Either way a light current is sent to the penis which not only feels great but makes me get somewhat hard.
But the other wire on the device is connected to a small torpedo-shaped butt plug which, when lubed with a water-based gel lube (such as KY gel) slips easily in and the current feels great—must be hitting exactly those nerve endings my surgeon said he spared that control an erection. The urologists are very interested in the whole problem of restoring a degree of sexual function for guys who have had prostate surgery, and the vibrators applied either directly to the penis or through the anis is one way of doing that, but the estim devices are another way of accomplishing something similar. Which works best for a particular individual is an empirical issue. Some guys don’t like the vacuum pumps but I have found ways to use one of those successfully as well.
My bottom line on all of this is that some of the new stuff that is out there works quite well, and is not expensive at all. The things I do to myself are not just fun for guys who no longer have a prostate, but are equally interesting for young-and-healthy guys regardless of their situation with or without a partner.