Nick's reply
Jimmy was feeling so vulnerable right now and felt like he had opened up something that was gigantic and he didn't know how it would end. He felt good that Nick had acknowledged that it took a lot of courage to confess his attraction to guys, but he had no idea what Nick was going to say. But, as it turned out, he didn't have to wait long.
Nick looked right at Jimmy and said in a somewhat tremulous voice, "Dude, I know exactly how you feel. When you saw Jeff and said out loud how hot you thought he was, that's exactly what I was thinking but didn't say. And for me, it's not just Jeff, it's other guys too. I don't know if you noticed that at the meet I wasn't interested in looking at the girls. I mean I like them and they look cute and all, but it's the guys I look at, at their bulges, at how they fill out their briefs. And I think you do too."
That was a lot for Jimmy to take in. He could barely believe that Nick had been so direct and honest with him, and he then noticed that his stomach was no longer in a knot and he no longer had a lump in his throat. "But what do I say now"? he thought. "Should I tell Nick how I feel about him, should I be as honest with Nick as he was with me?"
"Well", Jimmy decided, "here goes."
"Nick, Jimmy began, I always thought that I was the only guy who liked looking at other guys. When I started high school, joined the team and began to wear these tiny suits, I was so nervous - I didn't even let my mother see how I looked in my team suit. But then I began to like the way I looked and the way it made me feel. I would get sort of hard while wearing the suit, not in practice, but when I first put the suit on and looked at myself in the mirror. And maybe you're not going to like this, but the same thing would happen when I looked at you in your suit. It felt good, but it also scared the sh-t out of me cause I didn't understand what was happening and I was afraid of what you would do or say if you noticed. With Jeff, you know the tall blonde guy, it was just about how he looked, but with you, it's different - you're my buddy and I like you, but I like you in that other way too."
After his long "confession", Jimmy exhaled deeply and felt exhausted like he had just run a marathon.
While Jimmy talked, Nick listened intently, barely moving a muscle, taking it all in, trying to process what he was hearing. Finally, to break the tension, Nick blurted out, "what the f--k are you thinking?"
Jimmy's heart was in his throat when he heard Nick's outburst.
"Just playing with you, dude." Sigh of relief from Jimmy.
"Jimmy, I think that you and I are very much alike. I could have said exactly what you just said and I think it was a pretty ballsy thing for you to do. I was really taken with Jeff and his bulge and also that he was a nice guy, but with you I get this feeling in my man parts but that's not the only thing. You are my friend too and I know that adds to how I feel. I really don't know where the hell we go from here, but we gotta keep talking about this and see where it takes us.
With that, a huge smile swept across Jimmy's face, so infectious that Nick smiled broadly as well. Then Jimmy answered, "I know exactly where this takes us - it takes us to class and then to practice...lol. And then who knows where?"
With that these 2 guys, 14 and 15, went to class feeling a whole lot lighter but also wondering where they were ultimately heading.
....to be continued
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