Fellow NJ guy here. I am very similar to you - I tend not to shred my shorts unless there are at least a couple of guys wearing speedos. As others have mentioned, I would recommend Sandy Hook. Pretty much at any beach there, including the nude beach, you will see other guys wearing speedos. My second recommendation is Asbury Park. That beach has both strt and gay guys wearing them. I've noticed alot of strt guys wearing speedos will sit on the edge of the predominantly "gay section" but even then you see speedos throughout. I have also worn them at Sea Bright since there are wide swaths of area where there is no one around.
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