I remember a BBC Radio 4 Woman's Hour story in which the speaker wanted to run to lose weight and get fit, but she couldn't possibly go running in her normal clothes, so she went out and bought super fashion running clothes.
The problem was now that she felt too embarrassed to go out for a run in her super fashion running clothes as she looked unfit and overweight in them.
It doesn't matter if you are too old, too unfit or too fat to start running or swimming, get out of the house and run or swim.
If Captain Jammer liked his blue jammers he should have gone out and swum in them.
The majority of swimmers would understand and support him, a quick nod and smile as he finishes one length and starts another, a "Well done, how many lengths did you manage" in the showers.
I would suggest starting in whatever swimming trunks you already have and earn briefer and faster briefs as you feel you've earned them
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