[sebbie]

No longer Having a Prostate---maybe a Swim Brief Can Help!

When I was scheduled for surgery to remove my prostate some 11 years ago the big question I had was whether or not I was going to be able to enjoy the same things I was very fond of doing by and to myself for nearly my entire life. I had never been in a relationship with a sexual partner, and that situation continues to this day.

But do not assume that because of that, I also never got around to enjoying my body, Finding ways to have an orgasm by myself was and continues to be a very important part of who I am and how my daily life goes. I developed lots of techniques and interesting ideas in the process. Post surgery, when I discovered that I could not do some things like I had been doing I had to adapt to this new world I was now a part of. For sure, though I have been happy to have gone 11 years after surgery with a very low PSA and the doctors are convinced at this point I am “cured”, I would not be truthful if I did not tell you that I still greatly miss not being able to have an ejaculation culminating with a semen explosion any more. So far as I am concerned this remains a great part of being a guy, alone or with a partner and sex.

Still, in the process of coping with my “grief” over having lost my ability to ejaculate semen, or being able to get an erection in the same manner I did when I was younger, I ended up exploring the use of other “helpers” that might be termed “sex toys” but maybe better referred to as arousal “helpers”

I have been aroused by certain kinds of clothing that fit snugly in the groin area for nearly all of my life. A simple example of this would be a snug-fitting men’s swim brief that fits tightly in the groin area and hugs the penis. Wearing such a snug garment made out of slick fabric touching the penis has got to be stimulating for guys everywhere.

With swim briefs, the basic problem is where does your penis go, the options being downward, to one side, or upward. Another fact I learned at a young age was that not all areas of the penis are equally sensitive to manual stimulation. Indeed, it is the underside of the penis that is most sensitive. Given that, by far the most interesting position for a penis to be inside a swim brief is “up” so the underside of the penis is pressed against the slick cloth in the pouch of the brief. “Up” is clearly a fun place to be and this is a fascinating thing to do in part because the underside of the penis is pressing directly on the slick pouch fabric. And simply touching yourself there on the outside adds to the fun as a fascinating way to self-pleasure in private.

This seems to work nearly the same in post-prostate surgery as before. Arousal is easy, though there are probably going to be lower limits on how big your erection can become. There is another part to this method that I learned about only after my surgery. Inexpensive and ready available massage vibrators commonly known as “magic wands’, (once a proprietary name for a particular brand of vibrator) are readily available and even the low-cost ($20) clones have multiple speed settings and patterns. The vibrator emits a buzzing sound that varies with the speed that you set, plus each pattern has a different sound depending on the pattern. This is a vibrator buzzing and growling. It is not difficult for me to get more aroused just listening to the wand go through a specific pattern. What will happen if the vibrating head comes in contact with the pouch of the brief if I am in the “up” position? I suspect that this might work similarly for other guys with or without an intact prostate.

As a recovery “exercise” imagine pressing that wand head against the underside of your penis inside the pouch of the swim brief. Pressing on the pouch cloth where the underside of your penis is should prove highly stimulative. If you still have your prostate you might ejaculate semen in just 30 seconds or so. Lacking a prostate you do not have to concern yourself with . You will still get a quick but dry orgasm. You will soon discover that you need to develop methods that delay the orgasm for a longer period of time while still being highly arousing, and this will take some considerable study and effort. The bottom line on the magic wand style vibrators is to not expect to be an expert on working with these without doing some significant effort about where and for how long you can stay in a particularly sensitive area without immediately going into a very quick orgasm. Fortunately, this work itself can be part of the fun with the wand.

Another item I found after I lost my prostate was the little estim device. This simple device consists of a small controller that runs on two AAA cells and contains two wires that terminate in two rings, often made of black silicone but there are other attachments as well. The adjustable silicone rings conduct current from the estim device. The device has various patterns and switches involving turning on and shutting off the current in a particular pattern and speed, a level control for adjusting the overall current flow for the pattern.

The idea is to place one of the silicone rings on the base of your penis and the other around the glans near the penis tip. I like to lube my penis with some liquid soap or one of the water-based sexual lubricants, as that helps make the electrical connection better. It also helps to have the beginnings of an erection already underway, say the result of the encounter with a tight-fitting swim brief as previously described.

Then turn on the machine with the level setting on low. Experiment with the various patterns until you find one you very much enjoy, and then gradually increase the current level. The current at maximum is not strong enough to do anything other than stimulate, and you will probably find a setting that you particularly like.

These devices are also sold with plugs designed to fit inside the rectum as another possible use. This plug would be more stimulating if one’s prostate were still intact, as the part for the rectum presses snug against the prostate gland. (This male prostate location “feature” is part of what makes partner gay male sex work as it does.)

Once again, after some minutes of penis stimulation employing the estim device I shut it off and remove it from my penis before I have a an uncontrollable dry orgasm. Now, it is time for me to insert my penis into a the sheath of a manual vacuum pump with the idea of seeing if I can make my penis bigger and harder by employing a vacuum. This is also where a penis ring comes in. I never used a penis ring before I lost my prostate but this is now a part of my regular routine.

I have three different styles of penis rings. The newest one is a very heavy duty ring nearly as big as my little finger. I snap this ring onto the base of the penis pump, holding the sheath where my penis goes though securely in place. I also have standard rings that are maybe only 1/8 inch thick and maybe ½ to ¾ inches in inside diameter. And a similar “beaded” ring that has little raised beads all around.

Initially, I spend time with my penis secure inside the pump with vacuum, and my penis increases in girth and length quickly. To conclude, I snap the thick ring off the pump sheath directly on to the base of my vacuum-engorged penis. Then slide the ring on the base of the sheath off the pump to the base of the penis. When I accomplish this the ring makes a sharp sound and I can feel the tight ring now on the penis base and I know my vacuum-pump erection is secure. I remove the pump itself and then add two more rings, a standard one on the middle of the penis and the one with the beads directly over the glans near the tip. The physical sensation from these additional rings gives add to the pleasure of the situation I am in.

At this point, I am greatly aroused by all the stuff that has been going on with my body and I have greatly enjoyed myself throughout the various processes that have taken place. I am feeling way aroused and horny from all the stimulation I have put myself through but still unrelieved as I have yet to get aroused to the point where I can delay no longer. Even when I had my prostate I lwas very fond of getting greatly aroused but delaying ejaculation for as long as possible.

Still erect with the three rings still in place I retreat to a warm tub bath with the rings all in place and my erection intact.

Once that is finished I remove the rings. For anyone wondering exactly how an orgasm set on by a magic wand touching the underside of the penis, now is a good time to crawl back into a swim brief or other snug-fitting underwear, and experiment with exactly what you want to do with yourself and the noisy growling wand head. If you do have an orgasm it will be a lot more enjoyable than it would have been had you not gone through there other steps to get and sustain your erection using the sequence of methods outlined here.

Or, as I sometimes do, instead of having an orgasm that way, I like to pull on a tight-fitting pair pf thong underwear, the one with a back that consists of only a narrow cord that cuts snug between the glutes plus a pouch and waistband. A thong works much like a sleeping pill for me. The fun part is I awake in the morning still unrelieved but the thong has kept me aroused all night long.

David aka Sebbie