[sebbie]

Wow...you raise issues..a lot of them...just a "brief reply for now"

The first issue is "Do guys have stronger and more powerful orgasms in partner sex or in solo sex?" A. There is a body of research on this and B. The research is divided with many guy saying they have stronger and more satisfying orgasms in solo than in partner sex, but overall, the sexual experience is "more satisfying" than in solo sex whatever that means.

The second issue is "Should we somehow feel sorry for guys who for whatever reason never engage in or do not currently engage in partner sex?" The stereotype of the adult masturbator is of a child who never totally grew up psychologically to engage in "real" sex or a person who avoids social contacts in any form..the adult version of the nerdy loner who never grew up, sexually.

Interestingly, society accepts the notion of a female spinster who occasionally pleasures herself "down there" much more readily than the image of the adult man who engages in "self-abuse" rather than in partner sex. Further, it's generally accepted that single men will be having multiple sexual partners and that they will be tomcatting around, whereas this stereotype is not nearly so often applied to women.

Bottom line is that there are many men who by choice or by chance do not engage in partner sex. Somehow, divorced guys tend to like to hang out with me and ask for advice. Some of them seem to believe that they have lost their partners, the days of having a powerful, fun orgasm are over. Nothing is further from the truth, and maybe the spinsters could teach the single men a thing or two about enjoying and being at ease with their own bodies.

As to whether a Speedo is an inanimate object for the purpose of having sex, would you say the same thing about a guy getting turned on by his girl friend wearing sexy lingeree? I come from the "whatever floats your boat" school on this topic, and if you find something sexy that I would not find sexy at all, that doesn't make you right and me wrong, or vice versa. So long as its harmless to you or others, you enjoy it, and it works for your psyche, I say "go for it!"

I am getting my thoughts together on all of this as a prelude to write a book based on some of the ideas already posted on my web site Sebringsi.com, and one ofthe topics I intend to want to spend a significant part of thel book for is the subject of sex for guys who for whatever reason are not in an intimate realtionship with another person. You can see what I have already said about this topic there. Being single with no intimate relationship is not the end of the world...indeed this can be a great place to be. Many of these people may be having a more fun sexual adventure than the the ones in intimate relationships.

It's all good..

Sebbie