[sebbie]

More Having Fun

Generally, guys face two major problems in life. At a very young age a guy learns that it is entirely possible to get an erection or even have an orgasm at a place in a situation that is neither private nor appropriate. When I was twelve, erections seemed to be fleeting events, events that came and went for no apparent reason and with no apparent reason. For me, this started at about age 12, or maybe even earlier than that.

It was not long before I discovered that just having an erection could be quite an enjoyable experience, and it was not that long after that I started “encouraging” them to happen in various ways. The tricky part was the privacy issue. I knew that I needed to be either alone or working under cover of darkness—that is, playing with being asleep under the covers when in fact I was engaging in “self-abuse”. I soon picked up on all sorts of ways to do this, perhaps my favorite was getting an erection started by hand and then rubbing the underside of my penis onto the sheet. Sometimes this made me cum, but if I did this early enough at night the cum stains would be dry by morning, which was a relief, and the starchy splotches on my pajama bottoms also at least dry. But still I always worried that I would somehow, perhaps inadvertently have an orgasm too far into the morning that the stain would not be dry by the time I awoke and got dressed for school. That was embarrassing. I worried that I needed to get my timing correct.

I was also having problems with ejaculating in situations where I really did not want to deal with the issues. There were long bus rides to and from school over gravel roads, and the bus seats seemed to vibrate a lot. This would sometimes be plenty strong enough to lead to a full-blown ejaculation and the stains meant that I needed to exit the bus with some care. Fortunately, this almost never happened on the early morning rides. So, getting off the bus I was into a private home setting, not school.

A lot of guys seem to think that they would be extremely happy if their mind could be the only thing that could tell their body when they should be aroused, when they should have an erection and exactly when ejaculation should or should not occur. But a basic problem is that this is not how the male body works, at least for much of the time. Arousal comes and goes pre-erection, if at all. Not every arousal leads to an erection. Erections come and go, and not every erection leads to an ejaculation. In short, a major part of becoming an adult male involves developing an understanding that a lot of this does not occur in an orderly way, and if some of the disorder embarrasses the guy, that is the way it is. Deal with it!

So, the second problem the now adult males must deal with is not the problem of getting an erection that they do not want, but rather that of not getting an erection when the time is appropriate, and they do want one. This quickly gets into some complicated stuff involving things that turn on a guy and set the arousal process in motion. Large numbers of books have been written on the subject. One conclusion is that it is far easier to get an erection when you do not want one than it is to get an erection that you want but your body somehow refuses to go along. If the mere thought of wearing a snug-fitting swim brief sends a guy not only into an erection but maybe even an orgasm, why is it often so difficult for a guy who desperately wants an erection but his body refuses to go along with the desire?

Over the years, I have learned lots of stuff about what my body likes down there and exactly what thoughts get me horny. I “play” with this stuff on a regular basis, but tossed into another world, a world in which I would have to perform for a partner, I might easily fail in my efforts. Yet, what I have learned about myself and my body could prove useful in partner sex as well.