[sebbie]

Coping with the urge to ejaculate

As young teens, just after the onset of puberty, guys soon realize that coping with the urge to ejaculate is part of their daily lives of just being guys, and that this will somehow have to be dealt with practically every day. Each guy faces this “task” differently, and, at the same time generally each of us has an inborn curiosity with respect to the issue of whether my peer males about the same age are struggling in the same way and the methods peers are using to cope with the situation.

And, just learning about this as an effort to better understand how our bodies work in this regard can pose a challenge. The issue of individual sexual sensations and urges quickly gets intermingled with the idea of having sexual relations with another person, and, of course, as a young teen that is generally not a practical or workable way of coping.

But there is more! Young male buds talk about lots of stuff, but this entire topic generally is not something that would be discussed except perhaps in the context of being turned on with the prospect of having sex with a female. Everything else is off limits. Most young teens are embarrassed to even bring up the questions that they really would like to know more about even with (maybe even especially not) their own parents, so in really interesting and useful content is really difficult to locate.

The additional complicated issue is the “am I straight or am I gay?”topic/issue that is floating around. And this gets messed together with the “do my male peers masturbate and, if so, do they know something I do not know?” topic. This, in turn, gets intermingled with the “If I enjoy pleasuring myself then does that mean I gay? topic. Combine all three of these and you can quickly see why being a post-puberty male teen can quickly be difficult to navigate. My male friends all talk about being turned on when they are “with” a girl whatever the word “with” might mean. But I am having these other “issues” involving sensations in my body many of which seem to have nothing at all to do with being with a female about my age.

And many of the situations that make me uncomfortable represent times, places and events that are completely unrelated to being with a female. Every guy has vivid memories about interesting, weird and perhaps even scary instances where he ejaculated under circumstances that do not involve a sexual encounter with another person at all. For me, I ejaculated a time or two just riding on a school bus. Somehow the steady vibrations in the school bus making its way down rough gravel roads set me off. Fortunately for me no one saw any evidence of what had happened, and I was able to get off the bus and to my house without detection.

Another time I was just riding along in a car still 30 miles from home and that happened. Once again I escaped detection.

Another time I was older and driving down the interstate at a legal 75 mph. Somehow I was feeling really horny but I was still 30 miles from home. It got to be something of a challenge to see if I could continue to drive down the interstate at 75 mph while ejaculating. I am still here to write about this so this ended fine, and without incident and clearly I could ejaculate in those days at 75 mph with both hands still holding steady on the steering wheel.

Teen males do have access to the Internet and this access could provide some access to answers to questions that are too embarrassing to ask parents or peers. Few teen males have not visited pornhub or other similar sites out of sheer curiosity or as a method to fill in some gaps in their knowledge.

The most curious thing about the porn sites is that the videos showing solo male masturbation are all found under the “gay” sections of the site, as if the only guys who masturbate are those who are at minimum, gay-curious. This reinforces the teen-bullying idea that if a guy is somehow caught jerking off then he should be teased and bullied as being gay. This is sad. Straight guys do it too. Practically all of them. And these guys are also curious as to how other males cope with the situation. And if this is something you cannot discuss with your peers or parents, where else can you then turn?

I have this “weird” view that being a sexually-active male does not mean that you need a partner at all, and that a guy’s sex life can be highly enjoyable no matter what your situation is with respect to a partner, whether male of female. And that solo-sex can also become warm and tender sex. In this regard I find many of the solo sex videos to be just that, A guy along, enjoying himself with the camera rolling and with the guy in the camera hoping that the watchers will enjoy seeing some stuff that ordinarily goes unseen.

But, a lot, (if not most) of the gay male partner videos seem to be anything but warm and sweet. In fact, a lot of them are downright brutal. Is gay sex REALLY that brutal? If I were interested in learning more about how sex works on a daily basis with gay guys, this is a very poor place to gather information. I have been around gay guys enough to realize that for a lot of relationships, sweet and tender is a much better description than brutal. But I guess such calm relationships are not worth filming.

I suppose that if I were to head over to the sections of the site that contains depictions of straight sex, I might find many of those videos to be more brutal and unrealistic with regard to depicting how partner sex normally gets played out between a man and a woman, but again, the Internet is a very unrealistic representation.

As I have indicated many times before, I have had several male friends (all with female wives) who have gone through divorces, and in each case I have tried to remain friends on both sides. I keep thinking that the male partner might at some level “admire” my situation of seemingly remaining sane without ever being in a partnered situation and deep down they are curious as to how I have coped all these years. Still, none of them ever dared ask the really interesting questions (this even as they enter periods of their lives where they may no longer be having partner sex on a regular basis). I can understand why all of this is so confusing for many guys and also why females oftentimes are frequently confused as well

All for now!