[sebbie]

Part CIII

Day 2
Every guy knows that a lot of the fun associated with just being a guy has to do with having orgasms and ejaculations. Guys pick up on that idea at a very early age. But male sexuality is more complicated than simply the sheer pleasure of ejaculating, way more complicated. Throughout their post-pubescent lives guys keep learning new things about themselves and their bodies.

Some of my readers may think that what I am talking about is relationship-driven, as in who a guy has sex with or not and why. I never want to be accused of ignoring the psychological aspect of male sexuality, not at all. Sexuality is always a crazy goofy mixture of the emotional and the physical. What feels good or not on part depends on who a guy is with, or not.

I am a strong advocate of the idea that partner sex is not the place for any guy to first discover who he is as a sexual human being. On order to be successful a guy needs to first understand who he is as an individual, single human being with male sex organs. This involves learning an array of self-pleasuring techniques. Perhaps more succinctly put, learning the techniques of masturbation. Instead of treating solo sex as an inferior activity that guys should never do, I am going to suggest that every guy make way to elevate masturbation to an important part of his daily life.

What I am saying may be tricky to do. I have written at length about the problems teenagers may face in dealing with this at home, and then as college students living in a dorm room or a fraternity house. Some guys seem destined to be constantly stuck in situations where they are never able to have any real privacy as single guys and tjis is unfortunate. Some of the best solo sex methods take time to implement, and this becomes more and more of an issue if a guy seldom has any time by himself. I think a lot of guys probably end up having sex with partners in part because that is the release when the privacy a guy seeks when playing with himself is restricted or absent entirely.

Besides, mastering solo sex ultimately can make you better at what you need to be able to do when you are having sex with a partner. And what you need to be able to do specifically is NOT see how fast you can get an erection and go into a full-scale semen-producing orgasm…Everything about partner sex is intertwined with being able to come slowly and deliberately. The guys who thought they were somehow studs because they could masturbate to orgasm in the bathroom in 60 seconds are not the winners but the losers here.

Besides, assuming you are having sex with a female, you have probably found out that women can have multiple orgasms within a single sexual encounter—or none at all. Women just don’t fit the male mode of getting quickly into a single, gigantic orgasm that blows them away all at once like some guys who think they are good at having sex do. For a woman, a sexual encounter is a much more complicated thing than that. To be successful at satisfying a woman a guy must first learn how to get hard and stay hard for a long period of time without ejaculating. This is tricky stuff, generally not learned by quickly masturbating behind a closed bathroom door.

What does all of this have to do with swim briefs, compression shorts, jock straps and other gear guys are fearful of? A great source of anxiety for a lot of guys is that they are inadvertently going to get a hard-on at a time and in a place where there is no obvious sexual encounter about to take place, and that this will be embarrassing or lead to peer bullying. So guys avoid any item of clothing that could get themselves into that situation. But then once guys marry and attaining an age, the greatest fear then becomes NOT being able to get a hard-on in the presence of their sexual partner. Funny how all of this reverses itself as a guy gets older.

Male sexuality can be a lot more fun if a guy can learn how to get horny and hard WITHOUT immediately concluding with a full scale orgasm, and in this regard, the various items of snug-fitting clothing can play a critical role in helping a guy accomplish this over longer periods of time. The only question is what specific clothing item works for a guy and this can be very individualized. The fascination that a lot of guys seem to have with snug-fitting jeans currently seems to fit right into this. Some guys pick out jeans simply because they like how the jeans feel on their bodies which, translated means they feel horny wearing them

I’m convinced that guys’ fondness for tighty whitey briefs in the middle of the 20th century was connected to this as well. What happened since then is more interesting in that the tight-fitting compression gear and ordinary daily underwear has largely merged into one. Guys picking out underwear are still thinking in terms of what will make them feel horny without causing them to unexpectedly go into a powerful orgasm.

The idea of being able to stay aroused but not to the point of going into a full-scale orgasm seems to now captivate a lot of guys, and from the standpoint of enjoying one’s sexuality as well as having sex with a partner I see this as being a very good thing. Further, guys without sexual partners can still have intense pleasure as well. It’s all a matter of “reading” your own body. Does wearing a skimpy swim brief as underwear under your tight-fitting skinny jeans make you feel even more aroused than wearing something bought specifically as underwear? Go right ahead! How about a jock strap as underwear? Do your thing! Whatever makes you happy down there is the correct choice.

So the guys on the porno sites sometimes engage in sessions that last for days in which they attempt to get very aroused but not quite to the point of having an uncontrollable orgasm. Each day they get harder and harder, and with each day that passes it becomes more and more difficult to keep from ejaculating. But that is part of the fun, because the guy somehow knows that when he does finally ejaculate, it is going to be really powerful.

So last night I went into day two of my edging experiment. Another thong. Another strap, another thong and another swim brief. Once again I made it through the night without an orgasm. The cup I was wearing fit really really snug, a goofy-tight fit and I couldn’t do a thing about it.

But as I write this on my computer this morning I am feeling really horny. Unresolved. I’m already thinking about what I might try wearing tonight, to make things even more difficult to deal with. Coping! Male sexuality is all about coping, and doing things to, with and by yourself is a key element of all of that. You too can learn to cope.

Have Fun!