[sebbie]

Part LXLI

I strongly believe that it is extremely important for guys of all ages to maintain their bodies in as healthy a condition as possible. And a guy’s sexual health is one key aspect of all of this. As a guy enters adulthood, he perhaps gets into a sexual relationship with a partner, or for a variety of reasons, maybe not.

Being in a relationship with a partner (at least initially) pretty much ensures that the guy is going to get aroused on a regular schedule. Well, maybe I am assuming too much about relationships, but at least I like to believe that is happening on a regular basis. As relationships continue, on occasion (LOL) the amount of partner sex that goes on may go into a persistent decline. This is a sad part of a relationship, and three cheers o the guys who do not face this problem.

I could go on and on about the importance of having sex in a relationship is, but my main concern in this chapter is to deal with the issues faced by guys who are not in a sexual relationship with a partner. This could be for any number of reasons. One real possibility is that the guy did have a sexual partner for whatever reason the relationship came unglued and the guy is now very depressed about the situation he finds himself in.

Having said that, some guys are simply better equipped to live single without a sexual relationship and deeply enjoy the freedom that brings to all aspects of their lives. Personally, I am deeply grateful for the opportunity I have had to have never gotten stuck in a relationship of any sort. This has been a wonderful life never mind that so few guys try it. I suspect that most guys think of living without a sexual partner as merely a temporary way of slogging through life that at some point in time will once again revert back to living with a sexual partner. And there is no question in my mind that most guys are fixated on this. Feeling good in your groin area is so intertwined with the sexual and non-sexual aspects of forming a bond with another person that it is difficult to separate the two. But relationships even at their best are complicated and messy stuff and I also understand where guys are coming from that see this stuff as being an unending series of problems.


So, there will always be some subset of guys who would prefer living unpartnered and the lifestyle choice ultimately becomes a way of life.

Just before and after I had prostate surgery I learned some things about my body that I did not fully understand before. A guy’s prostate is encircled with a bunch of very sensitive nerve endings and these nerves are directly wired to the part of the brain that I refer to as arousal-central. A guy sees (or even just thinks about) something that is sexy and the brain springs into action and sends a signal down to the nerve endings surrounding the prostate.

When a guy says “I am feeling horny” that is exactly what is happening. An interesting signal got sent from the guy’s brain to the nerves around the prostate. Already this feels really good. What the triggering event was can and does vary widely. This could be the sight of another sexy person but maybe not anything to do with another person.

A guy being told by the coach that he must now wear an undersized swim brief or wear a strap in order to participate has likely had the same mechanism powered up. Any guy past puberty knows this and tries his best to convince his male peers that for him at least the only possible triggering mechanism involves a sexy female. The guy tries his best to simply ignore the possibilities other than observing a “sexy” female even though this is normally impossible to do. But survival with your male peers depends on the guy successfully coping in secret with whatever his peers would find unacceptable if the male peers only knew. Never mind that the male peers often face the same “problem” of feeling horny because of something they thought about or observed that was not a sexy female and they are struggling with how to deal with this too.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the role that nighttime erection cycles play in men’s overall health. And dreams with sexual components may play an important role in all of this in terms of cycling a guy back and forth between erection and being flaccid. If you are sleeping with a sexual partner, you cannot expect that the partner likely will be willing to wake up and copulate with you every time you go through one of these cycles. So at some level you need to come up with ways to manage your sexuality on your own a lot of the time, sexual partner or not.

This is equally important for guys who do not have a sexual partner sleeping next to them. And that is where I want to focus my thinking.

Even if you are not using your sexual equipment for partner sex, it is important to keep it in top running condition, and the only way to keep everything running smoothly is to have times where you have regular arousal and erection cycles. You can do this manually during the day or when you are otherwise awake, but, believe it or not some guys get so busy at work or at school that they do not carve out a good time of day for a nice session. For other guys the shower is the place to play with yourself. But ejaculating then can be inconvenient because ejaculating then may very well turn into a general feeling of sluggishness that may last for much of the day. The evening hours or just before bedtime is much better as the ejaculation experience can aid in sleep. How many guys have never had the experience of ejaculating in bed and discovering that one consequence is that you may fall asleep entirely within a few minutes? This is an alternative “use” for the sluggishness you likely felt for hours after ejaculating in your morning shower.

Me, I always like to “mess” with my arousal. I like to go to bed already feeling somewhat horny, but not horny enough to be anywhere near an orgasm.

Now I know guys have different ideas about what to wear when sleeping. Some guys like to sleep nude, with the penis just flopping around. Another option is a loose-fitting pair of cotton boxers. These do not confine, but limit the penis flopping somewhat. And the boxers at least provide a place for the semen to go other than directly onto the bed sheets.

Me? When I sleep I want to have my penis much more confined inside a garment that is tight enough to put pressure on my penis as it goes through the normal nighttime cycles. I will pull on a favorite garment, a swim brief, an underwear brief or thong, maybe even a jock strap and then pull on a looser fitting garment over such as a pair of boxer shorts. I like to mix this up each night so my penis has a different experience to deal with each night. The correct garment is one that your penis definitely knows is there, but not so tight that it feels uncomfortable, and the trick is in finding the right mix of snugness and comfort.

For a few nights I was wearing a nylon underwear brief under sleep pants but it fit so loose that my penis was not responding as near as I could observe. But last night I switched over to a cotton thong that seemed pretty tame. When I woke up this morning, however, I was quite aware of it. And as I looked inside the pouch there was a bunch of really neat precum stains that must have been accumulating all night long. The funny part is I slept like a log with my erection cycles still working overtime.

You probably will not be able to do this precumming if you have had an orgasm only an hour or two before you went to bed, but every guy is different. Those precum stains are strong evidence that the entire system including those nerve endings around the prostate is functioning exactly as it should. I was so happy to see those clear viscous stains. And I had chosen the perfect sleep time garment.

Every guy has access to this system. It is merely the problem of engaging yourself and taking full advantage of it. The specific garment I wear that acts as a triggering method might or might not work for you. But you might already have something in your dresser drawers that will be perfect for your own experiments.

To be continued…