[sebbie]

Part XXII

“Those will likely fit a little snugger than what you have been wearing” says the department store sales clerk. Something very interesting happens in a guy’s brain when he hears those words. For many guys, perhaps most guys, it is almost as if some sort of curious male-arousal “switch” suddenly gets flipped to the “on” position.

Maybe I am saying something here that nearly every guy already knows to be the case. I haven’t even said anything about what the item the guy is thinking about buying actually might be. A pair of narrow-cut jeans? Some underwear? Swimwear? Whatever it is that fits more snuggly than the guy is used to I assume will fit around the groin area, and perhaps put the guy’s penis in new situation that is a bit more “confining” than the guy has been “used” to on a daily basis.

For me at least, those words by the sales clerk would be enough to set off an automatic switch sending me immediately into an involuntary precum-oozing mode. This same involuntary reflex no doubt “hits” other guys in much the same way. It’s weird. On one hand the fact that I cannot control the reflex is more than a little scary but also, well, most interesting. Every guy worries that if he starts to precum he will soon be in a condition whereby the only way “out” of the predicament will be to deal with an increasingly obvious erection. And to deal with that will soon mean that an orgasm will be the only feasible way out. Not one of those “socially-acceptable” orgasms that might occur together with a female partner, but one of those crazy ones that seems to be happening for no apparent reason at a time or in a place that might not be the most private..

It takes some time for guys to fully understand that they can be in full precum mode for substantial amounts of time and still continue to function without getting significantly erect. That is what the term “feeling horny” translated really means. The guy who says he is feeling horny probably indirectly is saying that he can feel the viscous ooze forming at the tip of his penis and making his underwear damp there. Generally this phrase does not mean that a guy is in imminent danger of getting really hard and ejaculating uncontrollably. It takes guys awhile to pick up on these details about how being male both mind and body really works. A lot of this is subtle.

So, guys develop what I sometimes call a love-hate relationship with garments that the sales clerk refers to as “fitting more snuggly than what you have been wearing.” Once a guy gets past puberty he then realizes that feeling horny is a really interesting and enjoyable place to be even in the absence of partner-sex. And he has probably picked up on what I call some personal “triggering mechanisms” that will cause the “horny central” mechanism in the brain to flip the switch to “on” so to speak. This is fascinating stuff from a biological perspective, because this switch is connected directly to the obscure glands called the cowpers gland, and the cowpers is completely separate from the main semen-producing glands. There are two somewhat disconnected mechanisms at work in male sexual response. A lot of guys have no idea about that, or they figure that out only later in life. This information is not something you would likely see in a health education book designed for 6th graders!

So, on one hand the guy wants the clothing item that he thinks will flip his cowpers into ooze-production mode, but is squeamish about the possibility that the same garment could fit sufficiently snug to send him into an “I’m getting hard” mode or even “I really need to ejaculate” mode. Guys like very much being in ooze-production mode, but they are wary about where this all might lead.

Of course, dating behavior for guys with another person is driven by all of this as well. Guys go out on dates and spend money dating in large measure because the entire event is a great opportunity to get the cowpers pumping ooze. Where this goes beyond that is a fascinating question to ponder. A lot of guys are more than happy to spend time, energy and money on a date with a pretty girl even if the night was only a good ooze-producer and does not conclude with an erection and partner orgasm. Indeed, guys frequently attempt to choose mates for dating on the basis of the degree to which that person flips the ooze-production switch!

Or, a lot of guys come home from a date and then masturbate to the point where they quickly get fully erect and then ejaculate alone, while dreaming about doing the same thing with the very person they just dated. Spending an entire evening in ooze-production mode will tend to do this to guys. This is a lot of fun but sometimes drives guys more-or-less bananas as well. There are a lot more ways for a guy to have a sexual response than having “real” partner sex, and probably a lot more dates end up with the guy doing this than end with a copulation event with the partner! Of course, guys would never ever admit that this is how dating works for them. Every hot date is supposed to conclude with the couple doing the real thing! That is the idealized world but not the reality of the world guys live in.

So, what about the snug-fitting garment then? Guys eventually decide to buy these items because they think that the garment will be a way of flipping the switch that turns on the cowpers without having to bother going on a date, and to better understand the nuances of male arousal. Unlike a full-blown erection, it is possible to ooze precum while more or less being engaged in other activities that are not particularly or even at all sexual. A guy on a date at a fancy restaurant with a pretty girl somehow still manages to function at various non-sexual levels while in full-precum mode. Long ago I discovered that my exercise routine seems to move along a lot faster if I am oozing precum at the same time, and that some of the routine, particularly the stationary rowing part, seems to actually help the process along.

Still, there are certain things I would not attempt while in precum mode. Taking a tough exam in a college course is an example. Or, any other activity that is going to require your full-and-concentrated attention.

So, guys are interested in owning garments that they believe might switch on the horny mode because of the specific snug fit and feel in part because this represents an interesting and fun way to run rewarding experiments and spend maybe a pleasant and leisurely afternoon better understanding how their own body works. There is nothing at all wrong with this. Indeed this is an excellent way for a guy to learn some stuff about himself and how his body works and even to prepare himself in the event that a life with a sexual partner happens at some point.

To be continued…