[sebbie]

Part IX

Every guy struggles with a version of the same problem. The circumstances are most obvious past puberty but before a guy has reached adulthood, when opportunities for experimenting with “real” sex with a sexual partner are very limited if they exist at all. The dilemma basically revolves around the fact that once a guy reaches puberty, episodes of feeling horny and having an orge to ejaculate occur on a very frequent basis, perhaps even as frequently as every day, yet opportunities to do so in privacy are much rarer.

This sets up a dilemma of sorts, a dilemma every guy must somehow resolve. The dilemma is further complicated by the belief a lot of guys have that their situation is somehow unique and that peers are not trying to solve the same problem in some reasonable and acceptable way.

The movies have long used this dilemma as the basis for a host of different coming-of-age movies that have storylines involving horny young males where the storyline is eventually resolved with the guys, even the shy, nerdy ones, seeking sex with and eventually having sex with young ladies, and that somehow everything turns out fine at the end of the movie because of this resolution of finally getting to have sex with a female partner.

Very few movies have ever even attempted to reveal what guys actually do to and for themselves in order to cope with their adolescent urges. Male sexuality often does not work at all how it is depicted in the movies—there is a lot more interesting stuff going on that the typical story line where a boy wants to have sex with a female who initially tells him no but eventually gives in as the movie draws to a conclusion---but to reveal how this all actually works for males day-to-day would be considered too “racy” to ever show on the big screen. Besides, what movie director would ever want to burst the myth that has always surrounded how sex works for adolescent and young-adult males and has sold a lot of movie tickets over the years.

So, guys are individually on their own in this regard and what they see in movies is often a long ways from what they are observing from other sources. Worse, male peers are stuck with the same dilemma in that what they can observe does not actually coincide at all with what they are doing day by day, normally to and by themselves.

What the guys are doing, of course is masturbating, probably as frequently as every day, and the real dilemma is finding a time and place with enough privacy in order to not draw attention to oneself from anyone. After all, masturbation is surely an inferior form of sexual release according to peer males, the movies (that usually do not mention the option at all) and to females their age. Females at an early age are taught that the female is the center of sexual pleasure for a guy, and they simply ignore the possibility that things in this department might be more complicated than that.

So all of this comes down to exactly how a guy can find ways to masturbate if for whatever reason he doesn’t want to or is not yet ready to engage in sex with a partner. Perhaps a snug-fitting garment such as a swim brief would be useful and helpful in this respect. But what if such an idea works too well and I like what I am doing with and too myself too much? What if I end up finding ways to do this that I like so much that I do not want to abandon them if and when I find a real sexual partner? In this respect I have often thought that gay guys face a much less daunting dilemma than straight guys do, but more of that later.

To be continued…