[sebbie]

A lot of myths about the sexual behaviors of guys come about by watching “coming-of-age” movies. Invariably these movies contain several teen-age guys supposedly on the cusp of manhood, and, in particular on the prospect of having penis-vagina sex with a female their age, or in a few instances a female somewhat older (See the movie “Summer of 42” which was considered quite risqué when it came out in the early 1970s). It is from these movies where a lot of females learn about the boorish behaviors of males that they might encounter.

But think about this for a moment. Did your teen years approximate the script of any of these movies? Were you so fixated then on somehow having penis-vagina sex with a female that you somehow failed to notice that there were other, less complicated but still very interesting methods and ways to enjoy your own body, without having to suffer through all the complexities of a “real” relationship at that age with all its complications and uncertainties?

I hold the view that the typical coming-of-age movie represents what only a small minority of teen males actually did as teenagers. Many teen males may have fantasized about those kinds of encounters as seen in the movies, but that is not what really happened for most of them at least. Instead, the fantasies were simply fantasies, and as nearly every male surely knows, there is nothing like a fantasy to “assist” in the entire process of jerking off. Of course, a guy still faces the additional problem of finding a place and time to enjoy a good fantasy to a powerful conclusion, but that problem seems minor compared with the problem of having a real sexual relationship with a partner.

Still, engaging in solo sex has its own nagging problems, especially if a guy is discovered doing it at an inappropriate place or time, inappropriate being any place or time when privacy is somehow lost. And the myth that solo sex is somehow an immature thing to do creates its own set of issues. Still the only thing acceptable is for guys to somehow behave in a boorish manner as seen in the movies.

The goofiest thing about a sexual is how it somehow manages to mix together stuff that is purely psychological with stuff that is quite physical. But that is also at the very core of what makes a sexual orgasm such a wonderful treat.

There is an element of it that is purely in one’s head, but there is another equally important part that is largely driven by physical sensations. At some level nearly every guy understands that. To illustrate, Josh and Dylan have been engaging in activities that are really enjoyable from a purely physical perspective and have probably taught my readers a thing or two about what to try doing and the specifics of how to go about doing it. But the presence of Josh watching Dylan enjoying himself introduces a new purely psychological element into the mix, an element that Dylan realizes will add to his own pleasure. And the same or Josh as well.


Have Dylan and Josh somehow managed to enter a gay relationship just by engaging in this most simple form of mutual masturbation? When Josh and Dylan sat down to each order a series of snug-fitting swim briefs fully knowing what was in each other’s mind with respect to how these briefs were likely be going to be used (swimming at the gym, anyone?) , were they somehow crossing an imaginary line, and, if so, what did that line actually represent, anyway? The mere thought of climbing into a series of successively smaller, snugger and tighter swim briefs even as the online order was being placed is purely psychological not physical. Yet, even as the orders were being placed, there was likely something physical going on too.

Both Dylan and Josh knew what they were going to be doing with their packages of snug-fitting briefs once they arrived. Just this thought was enough to induce some physical sensations that quickly emanated from each of their respective groins, not to mention perhaps a few expectant drops of precum. Not exactly like what happens to a guy when he goes out on a date with a person whom he thinks might soon be a sexual partner, but not totally distant from or unlike that either.

This is all inherently complicated stuff. I would submit that the vast majority of females, taking cues from watching the movies, have any idea that males are so complex in this regard and that males have so many other options for enjoying their own bodies that do not involve a female. Or, at minimum, they WANT to believe that what they think they know about the sexual behavior of males is accurate, because in its own way, that puts the female in charge of controlling a guy by either permitting or not allowing sex with the female.

I have often thought that gay males in some ways have it a lot easier, as both males in a sexual partnership have lived with and enjoyed all the other stuff their entire lives. A guy in a gay relationship is probably not going to have any difficulty admitting to his male partner that he likes to masturbate, whereas this admission could easily break up a male-female relationship when the female concludes that she then must not somehow entirely “control” her male from her sexual “driver’s seat” so to speak.

There is a lot to think about here. What, for example is the role of the psychological anticipation of getting to pull on a swim brief you are nearly certain will be too small and too snug for you, versus the physical sensations embodied in the reality of actually doing just that? Exactly how horny will you feel when you get to actually try on that new, super-slick brief? The mere anticipation is part of the fun. Will you be unable to control your urges and want to ejaculate almost immediately after you are in? Or can you tolerate the sensations for awhile as you keep feeling hornier and harder?

Complex stuff, all of it.

To be continued…