[sebbie]

I realize some of my readers must be incredibly disappointed. Isn’t this supposed to be an erotic story of some sort? Shouldn’t this be all about two people meeting, falling in love and having sex with each other that should involve exchanging bodily fluids? This hasn’t happened, and now my readers are fearful that we might never get to that part, or, if we do, the story is not going to play out in any sort of familiar expected way.

Writing is extraordinarily fun—for the writer. For the serious reader, maybe not so much. As storylines progress, readers keep trying to figure out what they think will happen next, and then all of a sudden the storyline takes a completely unexpected term.

So, think back, where are we here? Two male college roommates, both think of themselves as straight as an arrow on a sexuality scale. Yet, something weird has happened. Not only do they both enjoy each other’s company, they have both gotten to a point whereby they are comfortable revealing to each other at least a little of what goes on in their deepest, darkest minds. And, strangely enough, the two of them are not living on different planets in this regard. They are both on the same planet other male college students their age are living. They are both living in a place in which some of the guys brag that they have girlfriends and get to exchange bodily fluids certainly on weekends and maybe a couple or even three times a week! Certainly this is the place where normal 19- and 20-year old guys live, and certainly any guy not living in that place must be socially challenged or have issues related to his own sexuality. Maybe, Maybe.

If I were to look back on each of these stories, the particular segment that sticks out in my mind is the one in which Dylan and Josh decided it would be fun to order a bunch of different swim briefs in varying colors, cuts and sizes, not for the purpose of going swimming (at least not in all of them), but rather to see what would happen to each of them if they sorted the suits by size, largest to snuggest, and then simply tried each brief on starting with the biggest, loosest-fitting one first, and then gradually working through each pile with each brief getting smaller, snugger and tighter-fitting.

Unless the guys are completely brain dead, just contemplating trying this should result in at least a partial hard-on. Dylan and Josh are completely normal guys in this regard. This is all related to the male fear of being seen with a bit of an erection while wearing a swim brief in public. But the really psychosexually interesting part here is pushing yourself to the limit as in seeing how much of this silliness a guy like Dylan can tolerate before he goes over the top and has no real choice any longer about whether or not he can further delay ejaculation.

Then to make matters even more interesting, there is another guy Josh, who is trying to do the exact same thing. There is no touching or anything else physical going on between the two of them. But still, the mere knowledge that there is another guy in the room having the same experience adds a unique element that makes the whole situation even more interesting for both of them.

So, one way of looking at all of this is that it is just a really elaborate way to engage in solo sex, and whatever happens therefore has got to be psychosexually less enjoyable than the real thing with a partner. This goes back to the old school of thought that basically says masturbation is something that children and socially maladjusted adults may occasionally engage in, but these people are, at minimum very unfortunate souls who are missing out on what really make the world spin on its axis—that is, partner sex.

Or, maybe masturbation can end up being TOO enjoyable. That is, techniques like what Dylan and josh are doing are so much fun that a guy’s desire to find a real partner who wants to have real sex will somehow be damaged. What if I come up with a technique like this one that is just too much fun to ever abandon? If I get into a relationship with another person, aren’t really fun solo sex experiences going to have to somehow recede into the background as I keep discovering ever more enjoyable things to do with my partner? In short, how do deeply satisfying solo sex experiences even fit into a relationship, or is all of this stuff just psychosexual baggage that needs to simply be abandoned and somehow forgotten or the entire relationship is in trouble?

But then, maybe all of this messing around with the swim briefs of various sizes has an odd payoff in a partner-focused sexual relationship. Certainly, hundreds, thousands or even tens of thousands of books and book chapters have been written under the generic title “Dealing with premature ejaculation” in which the guy goes off too quickly and the partner—usually a female partner—complains that it was all over before she got anywhere herself. Maybe all Dylan and Josh are doing is practicing and developing specific skills in this regard. As Yoda might have said, “Complicated stuff, this all is”.

At puberty, guys quickly learn that having an orgasm with ejaculation—any orgasm, is a life experience not to be missed. But almost as quickly they also learn that this should be done in private, alone, and as quickly as possible so as to not get caught doing it. Guys quickly develop real skills for getting hard and over quickly. Then they spend much of the rest of their lives unlearning what they had figured out how to quickly an efficiently do---instead letting sexual feelings bubble and simmer without boiling over for an ever longer period of time, even as the sexual partner attempts to do the same thing. The funny thing is that when the pot does boil over, and it eventually will, this becomes the path to a mind blowing orgasmic experience, whether with a partner or alone. And, either way there is certainly nothing at all wrong with that.

I suspect some of my readers think this chapter did not go they had figured either. All of this is too complicated and yet far too interesting to take lightly.

To be continued…