[sebbie]

Have you ever been in a movie audience where you are about 40 minutes into the plot of the movie and you think you know pretty well based on what you have seen already how the movie will end? Suddenly, there is a completely unexpected plot twist. A couple of the characters that you thought were critical to the story line have died or been killed off, and a couple other characters that seemed to be important in the first 40 minutes of the story seem to have receded into the background. A new character, maybe two, who seemed to have minor roles in the first 40 minutes suddenly are important parts of the story line. And worse, all your smug predictions as to how the movie will end seen to be, well, not so smart.

Screenwriters love to do this to moviegoers. Other kinds of writers too. No one forces a moviegoer to remain planted in his seat no matter what happens. One response would be to just sit tight, enjoy the fun plot twist, and revel in the notion that the plot did not go in the direction you expected. I suppose you could storm out of the theater angry that the plot did not go the way you thought it should. But what is the real point in doing that?

So too, with my readers here. I guess some of you, for whatever reason, had pretty well decided how the story line should go and what the fate should be for each of the characters. More than a few of you had concluded that each pair of characters, Bill, Joe, and also Josh and Dylan were gay boys who were secretly trying to maintain their identities as straight, for whatever reason, and it would be only a matter of time before I would write a chapter detailing the nuances of their respective encounters with each other involving a so called “interchange of bodily fluids”.

Maybe some of you were thinking that these guys were really straight boys having interesting sex-focused flings involving obvious acts of masturbation in the presence of another guy, something they each had longed to do even when still in high school but never dared to do for an assortment of reasons. Experiences that were interesting and fun but recede into the background once each of them met the right girl and got to engage in real (penis-vagina) sex.

As a story-writer, none of this has happened, and I realize that I have fulfilled none of your expectations in this regard. Like the moviegoer who experiences a major unexpected plot twist 40-minutes in, you have every right to simply storm out of the theater in anger because things ended up not going the way you expected. Indeed no chapter has contained any description of the guys even barely touching each other let alone exchanging bodily fluids.

OK, I realize I’m “messing” with my readers simply by not writing what they expect me to write. I keep taking them through stuff over and over and some of you are saying that I told you all of this before. Well yes, and to the extent I repeat myself it is because the points I am making in my mind at least are really important to understand.

What are my points, anyway? Well, I think you already know this, but a core point is the idea that the only way a guy can have a truly enjoyable life sexually is to get to engage in sex with a partner. Further, anything a guy might do alone, or even with another person present and watching but not actively engaged, is somehow first of all not sex, but, even if it were labeled as a strange form of sex, whatever happens is clearly not as enjoyable or acceptable as it would certainly be if a partner were actively involved and bodily fluids exchanged. This surely cannot be, or can it?

To this I say, bah! Humbug!

I also realize that a bunch of the stuff I have written down on the subject is not the kind of stuff that would be easily found in a bookstore or on the Internet. I know of only a very limited number of places where writers have even hinted that solo sex like I describe here could be at least equally enjoyable to partner sex on a pure “this blows me away completely” scale and without even having to confront all the other complicated issues related to having “real” sex with a partner.

If what I am suggesting guys try is not something that interests you or your cup of tea, so be it. I’m fine with that. Don’t bother to read any further. Storm out of the theater, instead!

I’ve thought some about suddenly moving the story lines forward about two and a half years. Josh and Dylan have now graduated from college and are starting their respective careers. Josh quickly found a girl that he got engaged to and is happily having sex with her it seems every other night at least. The events that occurred in the dorm room with Dylan present have receded into the background. Apparently, Josh at the core was straight.

But Dylan is still basically the shy loner he always was. He has tried dating girls, but they seem self-absorbed and not at all interested in what Dylan is all about, the stuff that makes Dylan who he really is as a human being. Dylan still loves to engage in solo sex, and now, living alone in an apartment, he has complete freedom to do so basically whenever the mood hits him. His collection of clothing and other items employed during solo sex keeps getting bigger and bigger. But he doesn’t have to share this with anyone. At this point, it is his little secret. I understand very well why Dylan is the way he is, and how he got to where he is psychologically and sexually.

Dylan has sometimes wondered if deep down he could be a gay boy and simply has not met the guy who would potentially make a good partner for him. He realizes that his interest in masturbation and the various techniques he employs might be a lot more easily shared with another gay guy than with a girl, but he also realizes that a lot of gay guys seem to be laser-focused on activities that involve an interchange of bodily fluids. Oddly enough, this activity is not where Dylan’s mind or body is focused either. Dylan truly enjoys being Dylan in all aspects of his life. He is neither unhappy nor depressed, not at all.

So is Josh’s life right now happier sexually than Dylan’s life? Some of you may think you already know the answer to this question. If this story doesn’t seem to lead to the answer you expect are you going to quit reading? If so, I am perfectly content to keep messing with the minds and bodies of those who choose as readers to continue stick with me! Those who exit the theater now and disgust probably shouldn’t have bought tickets in the first place. After all, where else can you go where you can get such details about all sorts of things you can try and experience?

To be continued…