[sebbie]

I cannot write about the things that adolescents and young adults do without any consideration for the various issues that are being highlighted in the news media in relation to these behaviors and what can and sometimes does happen in this regard. These are complicated issues, and, for a host of different reasons, issues that are not well understood.

Whenever a complicated issue is to be addressed, a useful way of analyzing the issue is to start at the beginning, and that is entirely appropriate in matters of sex and reproduction. Biologically, sex and reproduction are intertwined. We know for sure that any biological species would not survive were it not for a mechanism that leads to reproduction of the species. This is certainly the case for human beings, and (sorry gay guys!), reproduction has to involve both a male and a female.

I keep thinking about this idea in relation to the sexual behaviors of guys past puberty and in young adolescence. To me, there are two kinds of post-puberty adolescents. Some adolescents after puberty seem to begin to focus on relationships with a female. For other young males, perhaps not so much.

The social structure that exists among young people, both male and female, is most interesting. In many male groups, the dominant males often tend to be those who can first claim that they have engaged in sexual activities with a female. The other, less dominant males often tend to go along with all of this, and certainly never admitting that for whatever reason he is not that interested in engaging in sexual behavior with a female at this time in his life. All of this is also intertwined with athletic prowess. In a lot of places, one would almost expect that star football or basketball players would have underage sex with attractive and willing females.

This all leads back to issues related to male solo sex aka masturbation and the various interesting techniques a guy might try at that age. For many guys, simply admitting that they have enjoyed exploring how their own body works in this respect would be a problematic issue potentially resulting in teasing and bullying, not to mention accusations with respect to possibly or certainly being gay because a guy does this. This part of male sexuality remains a mess.

What is a guy who is interested in learning more about how his own body works without immediately dealing with the complications of male-female partner sex to do, anyway? Part of the reason may be that the social situation at the moment pressures guys into sexual activity with females when they are not ready or psychologically and emotionally prepared to do so. The guys sexually active in sex with females to a degree drive the behaviors of guy who for a host of different reasons are uncomfortable with the entire scene at this point in their lives.

I keep coming back to the idea that a major part of the problem is how the entire topic of masturbation is treated by those around a guy. Sexual turn-ons in adolescence occur relentlessly and under a host of different circumstances many of which have no or minimal connection or even thoughts about being with a female sexual partner sexually. So, what’s a guy to do? Spend these teen years going into young adulthood simply ignoring one’s urges and never relieving oneself? That option strikes me as being totally impractical for a host of different reasons.

So, nearly every guy masturbates, and probably a lot. Except, of course for the issues related to helicopter parents, siblings, classmates, peers and others who seem focused on keeping track of your every move, sexual and otherwise.

Think about Dylan in this regard, in adolescence, who has discovered some ways to engage in solo sex behavior that are, well, interesting and really fun. What is Dylan to do? Go discuss the nuances of this with his parents? His siblings? His male friends at school? I think not, for a host of different reasons.

What if an adolescent Dylan knows that it would be fun sexually to get into a swim brief? A strap with a cup? A wrestling singlet? Compression gear? As an adolescent he may long to own some of these items, but how to pull that off without some people potentially asking some potential embarrassing questions about WHY he needed these items and for what purpose would they be used.

I suspect that there are a lot of guys out there who are much like Dylan in that they are very fond of exploring their own bodies and that some of these same items would be quite useful in doing so. These same guys are probably less inclined to get involved in partner sex with a female than some of the students obviously are.

Then, as Dylan entered college, he knew he was going to end up with an assigned roommate in a double room. That roommate turned out to be Josh, who obviously was less aware than Dylan of the possibilities here. Whatever the situation, the situation with Dylan and Josh is quite different from any male friend Dylan had in high school for sure, where Dylan dared not reveal anything he was doing to anyone. Josh caught up with Dylan in this regard in a hurry, and they are both grateful for being able to be open with each other.

Meanwhile, I keep thinking that maybe boys would behave better and get into less difficulty on a variety of fronts as adolescents if there wasn’t still the attitudes that persist about male masturbation that persist by helicopter parents, siblings, peers and classmates. There have been all sorts of sexual revolutions over the last 75 years or more, but thinking about the issues I have just outlined seems tp have made zero progress, or nearly so.

Think about it! What happened to you in adolescence in this regard?

To be continued…