[sebbie]

As I have indicated dozens of times before, guys learn at a very early age that certain body parts are sensitive to touch. For the most part, these body parts are located somewhere in the groin area, though there are of course exceptions to this rule as well. Learning about all of this in detail is a basic part of growing up and becoming an adult. The only catch is that guys frequently are in situations where they might not be able to get the privacy that they need to engage in the “lessons”.

Another rather complicated part of the problem is that once guys discovers the details of what works for them, a lot of what has been learned carries right on into adulthood and oftentimes through a guy’s adult life. Finding a partner for a relationship and then partner sex does not really change the parameters of what was learned. It is frequently a struggle for guys to quite know what to do with the accumulated knowledge that they have about how their own body responds to touch, and in particular whether or not to share this information with a sexual partner, particularly if what a guy really enjoys doing doesn’t necessarily require a partner.

As a basic illustration, take for example, a guy who, probably secretly, enjoys putting on and wearing a swim brief. The guy probably discovered this at a very early age, but is uncertain about what to do about his fascination with the idea. The guy feels really good when wearing a swim brief in all sorts of special ways, and looks forward to recreating those sensations as frequently as possible.

A basic question that the guy has is whether or not there are other guys, male peers, who feel and respond in the same way. He dare not admit what happens to him every time he puts on a swim brief. Worse, he realizes that if others, perhaps the same male peers, see him and he is only a little bit aroused, they are probably going to notice that. After all the “right” swim brief is designed to go fast in the water, and that often means minimal coverage along with maximum potential for getting one’s self in a potentially embarrassing situation, and perhaps a situation that could lead to teasing and bullying. So the sheer pleasure that arises from wearing a snug-fitting swim brief is accompanied by the fear and sheer terror of a situation that could get out of control quickly. What a dilemma!

Guys entering adulthood often long for being in a situation where they are nearly certain that they would have a degree of privacy for pursuing solo interests when they wanted to. In college, my dorm room situation was a little different from that of Josh and Dylan in that I was in a suite of rooms consisting of two doubles and a single room that shared a common bath and shower. Naturally, I managed to figure out a way to get the single. Mainly, I was in search of a setup that would allow me to pursue my solo interests without any fear of another guy walking in and disrupting me. What happened in the doubles in this suite setup I occasionally learned about, and my young self found that part most interesting. My suitemates had feelings and needs as well, and they were just a little more open about the whole thing. Me, I kept all this stuff all to myself, and I could, given the near ideal setup I was in. I was not a swimmer in HS or in college, though somehow I managed to get a few items such as my first snug-fitting swim brief to be able to wear jerking off, and no one else was the wiser!

The trickiest part about all of this for me has always been that once a guy discovers something, say a snug-fitting article of clothing, that he enjoys wearing while playing with his own body, that is something that may very well last a lifetime, and whether or not a guy is in a relationship with a partner that involves sex or not. I’ve often thought that openly gay guys are better situated in dealing with this than are straight guys. Admitting to another gay guy that you enjoy wearing a swim brief in a special way would be easier than trying to explain to a female partner exactly what is going on in your mind and body in this regard. With luck, a guy will find a gay partner who also has the same ‘hang up” as well and life will be kind for both.

Where to begin on all of this with a female partner is tricky as all get out, given that so many women have been conditioned (usually by their moms) to erroneously believe that a female is the only person or thing that can get a guy aroused and give him sexual pleasure. So this other world where a guy gets off in a completely different way employing stimulation the female doesn’t even believe exists is just too complicated to imagine. Where does the skimpy swim brief fit into all of this, anyway?

But look at the external evidence. Guys are falling into and out of relationships all the time, and the divorce rate for married heterosexual couples is usually well over 50 percent. Do you really think that the guys who have fallen out of a relationship never retreat to pleasuring themselves, using some of the same skills and techniques that worked long before they entered their first relationship?

Finally, think about Josh and Dylan, two guys living in a tiny men’s dorm room double with essentially zero privacy. What is it, anyway, about Dylan’s mere knowledge that Josh is having fun in that skimpy little thong that makes what is going on with Josh so arousing for Dylan? From Dylan’s perspective, this mere knowledge is sexually exciting in the extreme, even though there is no physical sexual contact between the two of them. Oddly enough, Josh gets the same way just thinking about Dylan pleasuring himself in that little swim brief.

Does this somehow mean that Dylan and Josh are actually two gay guys who once thought they were straight? Or is this just two young college students having fun in ways they never dreamed of doing when they were still in high school? At one point, Dylan was naïve enough to think he was the only guy in the world who got turned on by wearing snug-fitting clothing, but then he ran into Bill and Joe both wearing their gear in the big men’s bathroom down the hall and from that night onward he knew that he was not the only one.

Josh seemed more than a little shy at first, but just watching what Dylan was up to when he got his first Amazon order suddenly made a big difference. Something ‘clicked” in Josh’s head and body too, and both Dylan and josh are where they are right now, comfortable being around each other is ways that they might not been comfortable had this all happened but a few short years ago.

To be continued…