[sebbie]

At puberty, guys really begin to become keenly aware of the sensitivity of certain body parts, and, in particular, how a mere rubbing or even touching can set off a chain of events that trips the pleasure centers in the brain. Thus begins a “journey” that may very well last a lifetime and affect nearly every aspect of what a guy thinks about and does. The importance of all of this cannot be underestimated. Obviously this affects a guy’s most intimate relationships with other people and who a guy chooses to be with or not and engage in intimate relationships throughout life.

Both the complexity and the importance of all of this learning and experimentation cannot be overestimated. Sometimes guys think that what they are doing and learning as teenagers will soon be replaced with more “grown up” adult type feelings and desires (whatever those are) but this is not really the case. In other words, the fun a guy has while engaging in solo sex (aka masturbation) will somehow be replaced with something far better as soon as the guy is old enough to be comfortable in an adult-type relationship with another person.

Human sexuality frequently has a component devoted to a continuing search in which the participant(s) are on a journey to find something new and unexpected beyond where the participant (s) was (were) the last time. There are both positive and negative aspects to all of this. For example, think about the guy who marries what he thought was his “dream girl” with respect to sex but then within a short period of time discovers that what he thought was a dream sexual relationship was not that and he “strays” outside the marriage. The high overall divorce rate confirms the fact that a lot of relationships sexually do not turn out to be the long term nirvana they were once thought to be by both participants.

In this regard, we have the backdrop of men in all walks of life sometimes engaging in behaviors they apparently believe that in some manner “cope” with their sexual drives, but are regarded by another person or persons as some obvious type of sexual harassment. The courtship process is never an easy time for either men or women. Even in the very early stages the man is trying at some level to determine if the woman would make a good long-term sexual partner while going through a series of steps that do not address the core question. If the guy asked the questions that were really on his mind, he could easily be accused of some form of sexual harassment if the answers do not turn out to be what the guy hopes. Too, being too blunt at this stage can shut down a budding relationship in a heartbeat. So a guy walks a fine line here as to what is deemed needed information and appropriate versus inappropriate courtship behavior.

Bluntly put, getting involved in a relationship with another person whereby sex will be involved is a messy, uncertain process, a road with many ruts and potholes. That doesn’t keep people from trying to form intimate bonds. And for that, the human race somehow continues on.

What does this have to do with our two college roommates Josh and Dylan, anyway? Like so many other young college age students, their bodies are both bursting with male hormones and they are constantly thinking about (well, nearly constantly anyway) how enjoyable it would be to get an erection and ejaculate. Yet, at the same time, neither of them feels comfortable getting involved in a situation with another person right now that could turn into a long-term relationship. They both have a lot more college courses to take—that is there is a bunch more stuff best tackled and completed as a single person than as one involved in a relationship that could quickly turn into something that would be difficult to stop or even slow.
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Still, both Dylan and Josh have really gotten “hooked” on the pleasant sensations their bodies are able to produce, and they both want to enjoy those sensations whenever possible over and over. This is male (and human) sexuality at its very core. Nature surely “rigged” this system to ensure survival of humanity.

Of course, at an early age Dylan discovered that there were certain items—a swim brief, an athletic supporter, even just a particularly snug-fitting pair of favorite blue jeans—that had the crazy (nasty) ability to get him aroused and at least headed in the direction of wanting to ejaculate more-and-more. A favorite fantasy of Dylan’s growing up was the thought of just getting into a snug-fitting swim brief and “examining himself” in the mirror, touching his growing swim-brief covered penis bulge as his penis became more and more erect and he could see what was happening to him in the mirror.

But, actually engaging in this fantasy was a difficult thing to do when Dylan was still living at home, in part because he was not a swimmer or what one would call a high school athlete, so thinking up an excuse to buy one of these turn-on items (such as a brief or strap) was going to draw “suspicion” on the part of his parents or siblings as to what he was really “up to,” anyway. Deep down, Dylan always admired the high school athletes engaging in sports that “required” either of these, as they would have an excuse to own these without potential embarrassment. But Dylan also wondered if the guys who participated in these sports didn’t also sometimes (maybe often) get aroused wearing them.

Once in college, Dylan figured that there would be opportunity to buy some of these clothing items himself that turned him on, but the tricky part was that he was going to have a male roommate Josh who he didn’t know at all.

Josh had taken a somewhat different path, growing up. A simple explanation is that growing up Josh was not as “aware” of these methods for self-stimulation involving articles of snug-fitting clothing as Dylan was. Josh was somehow all but naïve in that regard.

Via some “accidental” incidents, Josh became aware of some of the things Dylan was up to arousal-wise. Seeing all of this first-hand, it didn’t take very long for Josh to get “hooked” on trying this as well. Dylan was relieved on two fronts: First, that he no longer had to closely guard what he regarded as a dark “secret” about his sexual interests and behaviors, and second, that Dylan quickly realized that he was not the only guy who liked to experiment with his own body by employing these techniques and methods—Josh was quickly doing the same thing as Josh quickly got hooked too.

The more complicated part came when each of them realized that the pleasure of the arousal leading to orgasm for each of them only increased when each was able to observe close-up the other guy having fun with himself in the same way. What exactly this could mean, however, quickly becomes really complicated, as recognizing this detail could quickly be turned into the early stages of a gay something-or-another but not yet at least a relationship. Perhaps not a budding gay relationship as such, but something that is unique and still enjoyable and worthwhile? Maybe a label is not needed.

There are all sorts of complicated questions. How much fun is doing this, anyway? More fun sexually than a close relationship with a female that also is not yet an intimate relationship? Something interesting to do that will simply be discarded and forgotten once Dylan and Josh each find appropriate female partners for sex? This all gets into some messy, complicated stuff that is at the very core of human sexuality, how guys get aroused, and who is gay or straight or somewhere in between.

To be continued (of course)….