[sebbie]

The key to finding another person for a long term relationship is shared interests, non-sexual and sexual. This is no different in the straight or gay world. A partner is all about enjoying together the stuff that both enjoy doing, sexual and non-sexual.

In the gay world of dating and finding a partner, some guys think skimpy and snug fitting swimwear is fun, but others probably not so much for various reasons. But people pair up in part because they enjoy being around another person who shares a lot of interests. Sometimes "oil and water" relationships also work. I've never quite figured out in some cases why they do, but I've seen enough couples who enjoy being around each other who have almost nothing in common other than they are together to conclude that I haven't totally figured out completely what makes some relationships work and others not.

If you are fond of wearing skimpy swimwear, this is one unique aspect of you as a person that you are probably not going to want to or be able to keep secret in a relationship. One option of course is to find a partner who at least tolerates your fondness. I don't think you would want to enter into a relationship where the partner simply could not deal at all with that part of who you are.

But, this could also very much be part of a shared common interest, not unlike, say, in a nonsexual example, a fondness for dogs or a love of travel.

Gay guys are likely blessed with more ways of demonstrating their sexual love for each other than many married heterosexual couples have discovered. Part of the compatibility issue for dating in the heterosexual world is that both individuals need to find partners who in large measure are in agreement and share a common fondness for specific sexual acts they both thoroughly enjoy engaging in together. Relationships in the straight world frequently fall apart when couples discover too late that they did a poor job of meshing these most delicate aspects of a loving relationship between two sexual human beings.

Why should the world of gay relationships be any different for goodness sakes? If getting aroused wearing a skimpy swim brief is important to who you are, why would you want to find a partner for life who abhors this? Sorting through things like this in a gay relationship is every bit as important as it is for a couple attempting to form a heterosexual bond and its far better to work these things out in detail before not after the knot is tied. One interesting part about the new laws that now permit gay marriage is that gay guys are now stuck dealing with the same stuff that straight couples have always had to deal with, as in attempting to figure out whether nor not whether a relationship will be a lasting one that is worthy of a permanent tie or not.