[sebbie]

Once I made the transition from boy to man, I thought that I had discovered something in arousal and ejaculation that was absolutely marvelous. I guess that like many other guys my age, I wondered over and over whether or not my situation was somehow unique, and whether or not my peer males were dealing with and trying to cope with the same feelings and sensations that were happening to me. Like most guys my age, my first orgasms combined feelings of unresolved terror accompanied by sensations of pure joy and unbridled pleasure. What a strange deal to have two things so different from each other to be happening essentially at the same time! To this day I still keep wondering about how guys manage to navigate this part of their lives without getting into more difficulty than they do, at least most of the time.

Why is this happening to me? What does this all mean, anyway, in the larger scheme of things? It was not long after that I learned that a guy did not need to wait until stuff just more-or-less happened in order to enjoy himself (Can you say “nocturnal emission”?). Indeed, a guy could purposely play with himself in an assortment of different ways that would more-or-less “help” the process along, and that a lot of the fun part was not the orgasm itself, but the entire process of getting to the orgasm. I’ve often thought about this as it applies to other guys—guys that are so fixated on getting to the orgasm part that they fail to enjoy getting there as much as they could if they were not so much laser-focused primarily on the end result. And furthermore, guys may be missing out on experiencing the strongest and most profound orgasm by being in a big hurry to get there, and that a far better strategy is to stop enjoy each moment of arousal along the way. I’ve long known that every arousal sequence is different and each one has special moments that can (should? must?) be savored and enjoyed to its fullest.

And, I’ve always struggled with how best to bring in another person or partner into all of this. In a partner situation, guys frequently end up focusing most of their attention on whether or not the other person in the relationship is enjoying him or herself. Finding a place where both individuals are equally engaged and enjoying both themselves and each other is no small task, and a task that needs to be undertaken with a great deal of care and thought. In heterosexual relationships, this can and often does drive guys bananas, as they never seem to be doing exactly the right thing to please their partners. I’m not certain if gay relationships are less complicated in this regard either.

Besides, if having one’s penis inside a vagina is absolutely the greatest place for a guy to ever be, then how is it that the divorce rate for married couples is so high? For that matter, is the situation any different for gay couples, male or female? Maybe partner relationships of any sort are not all that they are cracked up to be, at least for a lot of people. What is going on here anyway? If this were simple why does it all seem so complicated?

In heterosexual relationships, the fear of pregnancy for unmarried couples has long held guys back from guys doing what they think they would like to do to and with each other. (Is she on the pill? Will her birth control work? Should I be wearing a condom?)

Traditionally, male gay relationships were about activities that were always described as “activities involving the exchange of bodily fluids” (which was just a nice way of saying either oral or anal sex). HIV in large measure severely limited if not put a stop to casual sex involving an exchange of bodily fluids as the risks suddenly were too high. The outcome of all of this has meant that gay men who want to still engage with a partner casually have become creative in finding ways to accomplish this without engaging in risky behaviors. It’s been reported that HIV infection rates and deaths from HIV have plummeted and this has been largely attributed to better and better drugs, but in fact this probably has as much to do with finding new ways for gay men to sexually relate to each other without exchanging in risky activities.

What does this all have to do with Dylan and Josh, two 19-year old college guys stuffed as roommates in a snug dorm room with little privacy? While both of them consider themselves to be straight, and still probably thinking about long-term relationships with women, neither of them are at a point in their lives where this is imminently feasible. After all, they are both still freshmen, with a lot of stuff to do before they can really think about this in front of them.

Dylan and Josh both struggled in high school with all the issues outlined here with respect to their changing bodies and urges. Guys sometimes think once they are in college, they will have more freedom to do as they want, including being able to be at least a little less secretive when they feel the need to cope with the urges that happen to guys. Both Dylan and Josh are dealing with the exact same issues and problems, with the key now being how can they each move forward while remaining as roommates and good friends.

Of course, Dylan and Josh have already gone a certain ways in this regard. Is what has happened so far somehow common to many college freshmen males stuffed into dorm rooms that essentially provide no privacy. There are the issues surrounding the clothing items in the collection that Dylan’s already has, and Josh’s apparent willingness to “join in on the fun” in wearing some of the items of Dylan’s collection.

Then there is the swim brief order that both of them put together and are still waiting on arriving. Dylan and Josh were both pretty candid with each other. Indeed, the way they did this is that they were trying to pick out swim briefs of a style, cut and size that would almost ensure that each of them are not going to remain flaccid for long. What is going to happen when the order arrives? Is each of them going to try on their items in private somehow? That may be difficult to do given the dorm room situation. Furthermore why shouldn’t they share with each other the experience? Guys are normally naturally curious about how other guys cope with a situation such as this.

And what of Bill and Joe? Are Dylan and Josh going to invite them to their room to show Bill and Joe the “loot”? Deep down, Dylan and Josh no doubt realize that Bill and Joe could be “interested” in what they are doing with the collection of swim briefs. And if Bill and Joe do get invited, how far is this likely to go, anyway? Does nearly every guy over time collect items of clothing that are useful for jerking off? What does a guy do with these items if he gets into a serious relationship with another person?

To be continued…