[sebbie]

I have raised a lot of interesting questions for my readers to think about, often questions that have no simple or easy answers. Today I got to thinking about what I would like to tell a guy, maybe a guy about the age of the four college guys in my story, as to what advice I would give if you are just starting out thinking about all of this and how it all might work your own life.

A lot of guys, even guys who might be open-minded about a lot of things, are still very apprehensive when the subject of self-pleasuring comes up. Aside from a widespread belief that masturbation is not “real sex, and only sex with a partner can be called “real sex”, masturbation gets a bad name because of the association with social outcasts, as in people who have difficulty making friends in the real world. That issue about masturbators being socially challenged does not seem to be a problem for Dylan, Josh, Bill and Joe, however. But we still do not know if each of them might indeed have issues making friends with other individuals, male and female, who could eventually turn into partners for having “real” sex.

At this point I would make the following arguments. How can a guy (how can ANY person?) possibly expect to be successful in dealing with partner sex if he doesn’t fully understand how his own body works within the broad context of sexual feelings and sensations that are possible? In this regard, I’ve often thought that gay guys ultimately have it easier than straight guys working from the basic idea that they know something about how their own body works in terms of sexual feelings, and this knowledge should broadly apply to another male in a relationship. The female body introduces all sorts of complexities that I will not go into here at this point, but many males probably spend most of their adult lives trying to figure out exactly how this complex arrangement all works. (Many just give up on this and say it’s simply beyond ANY male to fully understand what they should know in a male-female relationship!)

My intent is to not go into a marriage counseling role today, but to merely help my readers who psychologically think masturbation is great fun (if not, why have you been reading this stuff, anyway?) but somehow not right within the larger scheme of things. And of course, introducing the idea of various snug-fitting pieces of clothing creates new pleasure opportunities, but probably also new pangs of guilt, as in “is this somehow not OK?” and “would my friends all leave me if they knew I did this”? What if I uncover something that is really fun but then want to get into a sexual relationship with a partner, does a guy simply discard and forget about this stuff and move on? If not, then what?

For the time being, I will leave my readers to ponder these questions. What I want to discuss today are some thoughts I have been having about helping a guy who is serious about leaning advanced techniques for self pleasuring, but needs some guidance.

I think a lot about the issue of why some guys seem to like to wear swim briefs and others do not. The answer to this question is either really complicated or simple to understand. Even prior to puberty, guys are not devoid os sexual feelings and sensations emanating from the groin area. They are too young to associate these good feelings and sensations with sex and all it entails, but they are still sexual feelings. I think I first started to notice the sensations and begin to appreciate this when I was only 5 or 6, perhaps even earlier.

Moms buy underwear for their boys that age. The first pair of real underwear a guy gets just out of diapers is probably cotton brief, probably a brief that fits quite snug. It is not long before the guy learns that the brief touches some body parts that feel good and the mere act of dressing has some fun but unexpected elements to it.

As a guy gets older, mom may buy the boy cotton briefs in a larger size, still snug-fitting, but in a larger size to fit the growing body. (It’s always fun for a young guy to put an older, smaller pair of cotton briefs in your dresser drawer and wear those instead). But then, around 11 or 12, puberty sets in, and there is the additional “problem” that any clothing item that fits snug in the groin area like a cotton brief could quickly lead to a potentially embarrassing erection (or, soon, worse). This is, of course, great fun, but also very dangerous at an assortment of levels. Some solution must be found, and that solution is a loose-fitting boxer short, something far less likely to come in contact with and stimulate the penis. A guy showing up in the gym locker room quickly discovers that all his buds have all transitioned from cotton briefs to loose-fitting boxer shorts. The next week, the one guy who was still wearing a “diaper like” childish cotton brief is now wearing a loose-fitting boxer too, and the guy has gone through a “rite of passage” with his peer males.

After that, it is not likely that any growing male will wear a snug-fitting clothing item, in part because of the consequences if that item stimulates his body in the wrong (or is it right?) way. Anyhow, guys are normally quite watchful of getting themselves into a situation where they get erect in a place that is not right to be erect in, so that concern leads to a banning of any clothing item where there is a chance of something like that happening.

Still, the guy’s experiences of the fun he had at an early age wearing snug-fitting cotton briefs has left an indelible psychological imprint on his brain. A small minority of guys never make the expected transition from briefs to boxers at puberty, and continue to wear cotton briefs as daily underwear. The guys who transitioned into boxers at puberty continue to steer clear of any clothing item that has the potential to stimulate the groin area, and this explains the strong preference for loose fitting swimming attire such as board shorts. The guys who somehow continued to wear standard cotton briefs past puberty and into high school probably see this as being less of an issue, and have gotten “used” to wearing clothing that fits closer to the groin and penis. Making the transition from cotton brief underwear to a skimpy Lycra® swim brief is much less of a transition for these few guys, and doing this does not necessarily get the guy wearing the swim brief into an erection issue. The guy at some level is now “used” to having clothing that fits close against the penis, having worn cotton briefs routinely all along.

The funny thing about all of this is that the guys who transitioned first from cotton briefs to loose-fitting boxer shorts and then to board shorts for swimming and other recreational activities all likely have indelible early imprints on their brains where they recall how much fun it was to wear a brief that fit close to the body and accidentally rubbed on their penises in unanticipated but interesting ways. The Lycra® swim brief does the same thing the cotton brief did, except about ten times over given that the swim brief is smaller, snugger, and with smoother, slicker material. The guys wearing the board shorts have a mixture of curiosity and admiration for the one guy in the Lycra® swim brief.

The curiosity comes from wondering if the guy in the swim brief will soon get a big, noticeable erection clad the way he is, or, if not, how the guy copes with the sensations his body has to be experiencing inside the brief so as to not get into an embarrassing situation.

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