[sebbie]

A lot of guys (women too) believe that relationships and sex are inextricably intertwined. What were the words in the old tune “you can’t have one without the other!”? Wait, the tune referred to love and marriage, not relationships and sex as such. That tune was written a very long time ago, when people weren’t nearly as open in talking about sex. So everything was cast in the framework of love and marriage, rather than relationships and sex and how the two ideas were intertwined.

Let me reset the scene for my readers, not that anyone who has been reading this has gotten lost in the sequence of events that got the group of guys to the point they are right now. Four 19-year old college freshmen, none actively involved in what one would call a relationship with a female, or a male for that matter. The four guys are Bill, Joe, Dylan and Josh.

College guys often soon discover that the “rules” that applied with respect to a lot of stuff, involving sex or not, that seemed rigid during much of high school, now suddenly seem much looser and easier. Many guys now seem just a bit more open to revealing to each other some stuff that they might have never dared discuss when they were still in high school. For example, in high school, if a guy were to even admit that on occasion he had “fun” with his penis not in the presence of a female partner but on his own, he was in real danger of being socially ostracized, teased and even bullied for the remainder of his high school days.

This is really pretty silly, if you stop and think about it. Every guy was doing “it”, probably quite frequently but if at all possibly, surreptitiously, either under the “cover” of darkness or in a time and place where no one else was around (infrequent, at that age). Since puberty, doing “it” had become a very important if not essential part of a guy’s daily life, yet no one dared say a thing about “what was going on.” This all seems crazy in many respects, but that is the way it was back then.

[Your author, being “well past” his own high school (and college) days, sometimes wonders whether if I could be transported back to the same place and time for a day or two, whether there would be any changes in the old “rules” about all of this and if so, in what ways, but that is not possible unless someone invents a reverse time machine.]

A related problem or issue is that the vast majority of females understand all but nothing about the possibility that a guy could experience sexual feelings and pleasure in the absence of a female partner (or perhaps in this day and age perhaps increasing acceptance of the idea that the partner could be another male). Moms, being largely ignorant of all of this themselves, generally teach their daughters that they as young women are the sole way guys get sexual pleasure.

But guys all know that the “habits” learned at a very young age are often very difficult to break, even as guys enter into relationships with partners. This all comes to a “head” when the female, being studiously taught by their mothers that guys get sexual pleasure only by “interacting” with a female partner, accidently “discovers” her boyfriend engaging in solo sex, say, in the bathroom. The guy is just continuing within the part of himself he always thought was really great fun. The poor guy then has to quickly dream up some “lame” excuse for what he was “up” to so as to not create a confrontation with his woman, who is now sobbing uncontrollably upon discovering that the guy who she thought was her loving partner does not “behave” in exactly the way her mother told her he would and sometimes occasionally (often) seeks out sexual pleasure “on his own”. The horror of it all!

To be continued....