[sebbie]

Bill and Joe have both discovered several weeks ago that while orgasms are fun (they discovered that at puberty), the key to a really enjoyable orgasm is to remain aroused for as long as possible while resisting the ever-more-powerful physical and psychological urges to get off as soon as possible. These urges to ejaculate seem to come in a series of powerful waves, a sequence of events where the pressure to get off becomes almost unbearable, then backing off for a bit to a tolerable level, and then building the urges and pressures back up again right to the edge of going into a full-scale ejaculation.

For guys, it’s quite enjoyable to simply spend time practicing how to do this. Arousal, accompanied with drops of viscous pre-cum, can continue for an indefinite period of time, if a guy does not want to bring himself farther along than that. But, in that phase, there is always an intense psychological pressure to go farther, first, to get semi-erect, and then on to a full-scale erection.

The thongs and singlets that Bill and Joe are wearing are helpful in maintaining their bodies and minds at the what could be called the pre-cum level of arousal. From this point, of course, they can always ramp it up a little, just by lightly stroking their own penises with their fingers from base to tip. This should quickly send the erection process into high gear. Biologically, once the erection process gets fully underway, the pre-cumming will typically stop, and often rather abruptly.

Once the erection is underway, a guy needs to be really careful such to not go into a full-scale orgasm more rapidly than desired. There are particular techniques and approaches that Bill and Joe need to be aware of, and these techniques and approaches are not widely known.

First, penises are oval tubes that get hard from increased blood flow, but all parts of the penis are not equally sensitive to touch. If I were giving lessons on self-pleasuring to Bill and Joe, the first piece of information that I would share is that not all sides of the penis are equally sensitive to touch, and in particular the underside is most sensitive. So, if you want to get off quickly pay the most attention to the underside of your penis while stroking. But, if you want a longer experience (in more than one way!) , alternate your stroking between the underside, the top and the sides.

Some guys, probably Bill and Joe, think the way you get off is to stroke by gripping your penis all around by holding it with the palm of your hand, and then stroking from base to tip. This is something of a “traditional” masturbation method, but it is not the best technique, unless for some reason (as in your sister is calling that she needs to use the bathroom) you are forced into a situation where you need to get this over in a real hurry. Certainly these situations do arise, but being in a hurry here is not the best approach for enjoyable solo sex.

There are more complicated, but ultimately far more satisfying ways to pleasure yourself. Why should Bill and Joe learn about these, for goodness sakes? Isn’t the ultimate goal to find a mate to have sex with, and then maybe all this training on technique will be wasted.

Perhaps the most powerful and important part with respect to sex with a partner is communication. Not any old communication, mind you, but rather communication specific to what works for both of you sexually. Straight guys have a disadvantage here, because they are communicating with a female with very different plumbing and wiring. A lot of straight guys never quite figure this all out, and they muddle through life being sexually unhappy most of the time. This is all sad, but if you understand the nuances of what you like, that gives you a heads up on understanding the nuances of what she like, and if you and she are lucky,…very lucky,…sexual bliss.

Gay guys have an advantage here in that the basic plumbing and wiring are the same, or nearly so. If you discover something that is particularly enjoyable, at least there is a good possibility that your partner will enjoy the same thing, or at least something very similar. By each learning more about yourselves in this regard, you can also teach each other stuff the other one didn’t know, and once again perhaps find sexual happiness.

Then too, sometimes it’s nice to just be alone and to not have a partner around, and this is true whether you are straight or gay. A lot of women in straight relationships have a great deal of difficulty dealing with the basic idea that their man still enjoys solo sex in a relationship. Some nearly go to pieces if they accidently discover their man pleasing himself alone. I wish this were not true, but it is. The proper response for a women who discovers her male partner masturbating should be “May I help you?” and in particular to not run out of the room, crying. Just because a guy enjoys solo sex is not an indication that he does not love her or that she has been doing something wrong. After all, the guy pleasured himself regularly long before he met her.

Again, gay guys as partners have an advantage, in part because most gay guys would be far more tolerant of their other half engaging in solo sex. Indeed, in the initial stages of the relationship, watching the other guy pleasure himself while you pleasure yourself may be an important key to the relationship.

Too, none of the ideas Bill and Joe have been enjoying involve an exchange of bodily fluids. Heck, Bill and Joe have not even admitted that they enjoy being around each other, and certainly they have not admitted that watching each other masturbate and pre-cum is interesting fun. They both know that, of course, but their desire to maintain their images as perfectly straight guys inhibits all of this.

It is tough to tell how all of this is going to turn out, nor to tell what is going to happen with Dylan and Josh in the other dorm room. All of these guys have learned a lot of stuff they never knew when they were in high school.

To be continued…