[sebbie]

Bill went on to his classes, but, quite frankly, his mind was not very much on the class contents. Bill was thinking about stuff, weighty stuff. He was still replaying the funchball dream over and over in his mind. Bill started thinking about stuff. Really weighty stuff.

The part of the dream sequence that kept going over and over in Bill’s head was about the costumes the funchball teams were wearing. The girls looked really cute in the snug Spandex shirts and shorts. But Bill’s dream focus had been on the hunky guys dressed out similarly, and he was particularly focused on seeing those jock straps clearly outlined under the guys’ tight compression-jammer shorts. Funchball was nothing if not sexy fun, appealing to “arousal central”.

If Bill was really this ruler-straight guy, why did the dream head off in such an unexpected direction? Was this an indication that Bill had a gay streak and a special interest in and appreciation of guys he didn’t fully appreciate or even realize was there? Bill was starting to struggle with what all the stuff that happened in the dream sequence really meant for his real sexual orientation.

Until the dream took place, he thought sexual orientation was rather simple to understand. Sexual orientation basically divided human beings into two groups, straight or gay. Whether you were straight or gay, as in one or the other, depended entirely on who you engaged with for partner sex. Straight guys always had partner sex with women. Gay guys always other men. This, Bill had always thought, was all very simple.

Bill got to thinking, however, that if this were true, what of all the people floating around that did not seem to be having partner sex with anyone? Are they neither straight nor gay? But then Bill concluded that sexual orientation was not determined by the gender of the person you are having regular sex with. But rather by the gender of the person you would most want to have sex with if you were in a relationship. So a lot of people not having partner sex with anyone at the present time could be classified as being either straight or gay simply based on the gender of their primary sexual longings. That seems straightforward, at least at first.

Of course there are asterisks and footnotes. With sexuality, there always seems to be asterisks and footnotes. For starters, what about those who claim to be bisexual, as in attracted to, desiring, and perhaps even engaging in partner sex with people of both genders, perhaps over a period as short as a few months or even days? These people must fit into a third category of those who are neither straight nor gay, but somewhere in the middle place between the first two categories.

But then what about what is sometimes called asexual people, people who seem not to be interested in having partner sex at all? Even this gets complicated. We all have met spinsters and single males who claim to be completely disinterested in sex at all. These are the men and women who cannot remember the last time they had a sexual orgasm, alone or with a partner. Bill is not sure he wants to toss this group of people into the space with the people who claim to be bisexual if the bisexuals are regularly engaging in partner sex with people of both genders and the asexual are not engaging in sex with anyone.

This gets more complicated still. It suddenly occurs to Bill that some people (Sebbie maybe as an example?) seem to enjoy solo sex immensely to the point of continuously dreaming up new and interesting ways to jerk off. This thought had never occurred to Bill before. But these solo-sex episodes almost invariably end up being private, solo sessions, not sessions with a partner of either gender. Bill gets to thinking that there are plenty of people who do not have a sexual partner, and plenty more who are of the mindset that they are no longer even interested in having a sexual partner. Are these people somehow denied orgasmic pleasure simply because of their relationship status?

Bill thinks about this. He considers himself heterosexual, but for right now a regular sexual relationship with a certain girl could create more problems for him (and her) than it resolves. The girl might soon get to thinking because Bill’s actions with his penis that she is the one for eternity, and Bill is not ready for that, at least not yet for sure. Probably not the relationship for ANY 19-year old to get into, regardless of how much he thinks he is “in love.”

So, what is the other option? Bill certainly does not want to deny himself the pleasures of having powerful orgasms at age 19, but, without a female partner, Bill is back to jerking off, in private. Finding a place to jerk off in private under the circumstances has become quite a problem still to be resolved. Bill thinks that in a few ways things are better in college than they were at home, but in other ways the current situation is far worse in this regard. Bill cannot go into a jerk-off session in front of his roommate, Joe, or he might have to rethink his belief that he is a straight-as-an-arrow heterosexual. Joe too!

But the hormones are raging, and Bill thinks jerking off is great fun, maybe almost as much fun as real partner sex. The orgasm Bill had at the end of the funchball wet dream, Bill thinks, was the most powerful of any that he has ever had. What gives? There was no partner. Only a strap, a cup and a bellicose coach.

……..To be continued.