Black Friday Phone
 

Today BBC Radio 4 were discussing Black Friday bargains and how many of them were the same products at the same price with added promotion.
One man called in to say he'd bought a new phone. The panel asked him why he'd bought it today and he replied that the old phone had been in the pocket of his shorts when he'd gone swimming.
If he'd chosen to swim in speedos there would have been no pocket to fit his phone and he would have saved £800.
Swimming in shorts with pockets full of "stuff" is slower and harder work than swimming in speedos. With the new plastic bank notes we have in Britain it's probably safe to swim with them in your pockets but modern car keys are full of electronics and I'd rather not get mine wet.
So, go to the swimming pool, strip down to speedos, leave all your day clothes and the contents of your pockets in a locker then swim gracefully without all this clutter about you.
If you go to the beach you'll be taking a towel, and snacks and water and sun cream. You'll put them all in a bag, I usually use a small rucksack.
Put your clothes and all the stuff in your pockets in the bag then sunbathe and swim in your speedos, your bikini briefs or even a swim thong.

There are no lockers at Riis Park, New York City so I just ride my beater bike, bring lunch, my flip phone, a faded towel, and a dry speedo to wear going home. I go after 2 PM to avoid a sunburn. I am a hairy old bear, so I can wear my tiny slingshot thong or women's side-tie string and roam around the crowd. No one hassles hairy guys at any age, great for me.